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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is an incredibly sexist statement to put on FB?

57 replies

twinklingfairy · 23/12/2011 21:32

Remembered to get a carrot for Rudolph, forgot to get more sellotape.... FFS! This Christmas stuff is much easier when you've got a woman doin it for you..

BIL statement for tonight.

This after claiming that he needed a 'bird' to remember his niece and Nephews birthdays.

Xmas Angry
OP posts:
perplexedpirate · 23/12/2011 21:54

Right, so I now not only have to feel guilty about feeding, schooling, working and all the rest of it, I'm now vilified because I had the temerity to have a son?
Nice.
Hmm

CupOfGoodCheer · 23/12/2011 21:57

I've just done all mine and DP's wrapping, as if left to him his poor family would get their gifts shoved at them bundled in a placky bag...

Women aren't necessarily better, they are just more arsed with the whole thing imo....

Original poster
twinklingfairy · 23/12/2011 22:01

perplexed, I am confused by your statement?

It is not about the wrapping with this man. It is everything about him!
The statement is about women being better at all the wimen things. You know like thinking about others, those kind of things.

OP posts:
fifteenfiftyfive · 23/12/2011 22:02

CupOfGoodCheer Women aren't necessarily better, they are just more arsed with the whole thing imo....

Or more likely to have it commented upon or judged if they fail to meet up to expectations.

A working dad forgetting to buy a Christmas present = probably just too busy to get around to it.

A working mum forgetting to buy a Christmas present = woman who's clearly failing to fulfil her child's needs, selfish, ignorant harriden.

This scenario was played out last year with my best friend from uni. Her crime? Forgetting to buy her father in law a present. That's right - her husband (son of said person) received a gruff comment at the time, but she's still hearing about it 11 months later on occasion.

Beggers belief!

perplexedpirate · 23/12/2011 22:10

Sorry twinkling, should've made myself clearer. I was responding to posts upthread that ran along the lines of "I blame mothers of sons" and "don't get me started on mothers and their little princes".
Just seems like some people will go to any length to pin the blame on a woman.

Original poster
twinklingfairy · 23/12/2011 22:39

Ah, I see.
But in this case, I do blame the mother.
She did treat them like little princes. DH has had to learn a lot about what I expected him to do for himself. Though, to be fair to DH, he really wasn't too bad and learnt a lot from his dad.
His brother though, was molly coddled and waited on.
He expects as such from his 'birds'
His exwife put up with it for a long long time, though she had her own issues. It was definitely not a one sided thing. But I saw the way he treated her toward the end and was not impressed. His attitude stinks.

OP posts:
notmyproblem · 23/12/2011 22:53

Twinkling if BIL is such a twat why not blame BIL's father for it then... Hmm

"Just seems like some people will go to any length to pin the blame on a woman."

Exactly.

Original poster
twinklingfairy · 23/12/2011 23:05

huh, that's a good question.
He seems like he has left it to his wife. So, yes, in that way he is as equally to blame. And yet the two men are so different, my DH and BIL.

OP posts:
Moominsarescary · 23/12/2011 23:10

Who realy cares

TheFidgetySheep · 23/12/2011 23:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElfenorRathbone · 23/12/2011 23:38

Oh of course it's sexist.

Everyone knows women are better at wrapping presents, it's the pink bit of the brain that lights up when Sex and the City and Loose Women comes on as well.

And of course, they're not very good at maths or critical thinking, or ruling the country or wielding any power or owning any property or making any important decisions.

But give them a broom, a vacuum cleaner, some boring repetitive shit-work with no status and no reward and some wrapping paper and they're in their element. The pink bit of their brain starts buzzing and lights up in empowering scientificised tests and everything. It's been proved. If you start saying that men are sometimes good at wrapping parcels, you're just arguing against Naycher.

Oh sorry just came over all stoopid just then, sorry about that, hope it's not catching. Xmas Hmm

Original poster
twinklingfairy · 24/12/2011 00:12

Well Gee, thanks for that momminHmm

I do, clearly.
I cannot stand that there are still men in the world who think that you have to get a 'bird' to remember anything outwith your own limited window.
He does not look much further than the end of his nose for what is important but boy is he happy when he and his receive from outwith.

OP posts:
bex2011 · 24/12/2011 07:33

My DH would have eventually got round to wrapping presents if I hadn't done it. Probably about now when we have got a million and one things to do. Gender stereotype comment of the year came from MIL the other day who commented that my DS will never cook me dinner as he is a boy and boys don't go into kitchens! I'm so booking him into ballet lessons when he is old enough to see what reaction that gets!

Youllbewaiting · 24/12/2011 07:45

I can't believe he uses the word 'birds', is he from a seventies sit-com?

He's not Sid James is he?

Shutupanddrive · 24/12/2011 07:54

Yabu, it's a joke! Xmas Hmm

SuePurblybiltbyElves · 24/12/2011 09:00

Little bit in love with ElfenorRathbone Xmas Grin

MsWeatherwax · 24/12/2011 09:27

It's sexist. Against both women and men. Terribly damaging attitude, and shows what a total knob he is.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 24/12/2011 09:33

Agree with aldiwhore, its a measure of uselessness, not gender bias.

I love wrapping presents, my husband doesn't - I do it better because a) I enjoy it and b) I do it more often. I make terrible tea and never do it - my husband makes lovely tea.

Play to your strengths.

Whatmeworry · 24/12/2011 09:49

Perish the thought it was tongue in cheek. But really, this is pretty small stuff to sweat.

ElfenorRathbone · 24/12/2011 09:49

Oh no it's not a gender issue no, it's just a co-incidence that so many men happen to choose to be useless at the boring necessary jobs that no-one notices are done but everyone notices if they're not done.

Not a gender issue at all, no no.

WTAF · 24/12/2011 09:52

What Moomins said. It was not the best joke in the world. But it reads like a joke. A JOKE! And it's Christmas. Lighten up.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 24/12/2011 09:57

no-one notices if men choose to be useless at boring necessary jobs and don't do them but they do if it's a woman who hasn't done them

Is that the premise? I'd disagree - it's the JOB that's the issue, regardless of who does it. If the chores are split fairly, regardless of what they are, then the person who hasn't done their share are at fault, whatever their gender.

It might have been different going back years, my mum never taught my bothers to iron - expected me to do it. I think women are fighting back now and mothers are bringing up their children to do chores rather than specific, previously typical male/female ones.

Youllbewaiting · 24/12/2011 10:04

Haven't you said something interesting there though Lying?

' I think women are fighting back now and mothers are bringing up their children to do chores rather than specific, previously typical male/female ones.'

Doesn't this future perpetuate that it's still the woman's job?

I am a father and surely it would be best to have their father showing them things as well?

WorraLiberty · 24/12/2011 10:12

I don't see it as sexist.

Substitute the word 'woman' for 'partner' and you merely have someone saying he's used to someone else taking control of these things.

The 'someone else' just happened to be female.

I've seen lots of mothers on MN this past week saying their DH's/DP's are "Building the kid's Xmas toys"

If they were to post next year something like "Got the instructions and all the bits out on the floor, forgot the screwdriver. This toy building is much easier when you've got a man doing it for you."....I wouldn't consider that sexist either, just that they've been used to the man in their life doing it.

usualsuspect · 24/12/2011 10:13

Sounds like he was joking to me