Hi, I think I definitely need another sense of perspective on this, and it's a small issue really.
I have an aunt who is my dad's sister. For whatever reason when I was growing up I was often compared to her and it was never complimentary either. She's always fluctuated with her weight and like a lot of women I suspect has veered between a 12 and a 16 so while she's never been a titch she's never been in immediate need of gastric surgery either (you could say 'a normal woman'!) and also she's quite messy and untidy and yes I'm quite untidy as well.
She's also very warm, friendly, kind, two successful and happy sons, loads of friends - but these are never mentioned.
I was at my aunt's yesterday with DD and my dad and dad's new partner and my dad made so many digs about the state of the house it was embarrassing. (My aunt didn't seem bothered to be honest.) I ended up making a "jokey" comment about it being better than the sort of minimalist environment my dad favours - I don't have a single item from my childhood or adolescence, or any old clothes of my mum's or anything like that, and it does sometimes hurt a bit.
On the way back with dad it turned somehow into this almighty row with me saying I was sick of his superior attitude that his way was the right way and couldn't he just leave other people (eg me!) alone to live our lives and him insisting that he was right and apparently I am "far too messy" and need "training out of it" (like a dog!)
I don't know why as I should be used to my dad being a pain by now but he's got me all cross and agitated and wound up. The stupid thing is, I used to tidy up meticulously for him and he'd still walk round, inspect and find fault so tbh I gave up!