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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU/ Tight re xmas day wine

45 replies

Slilou · 23/12/2011 13:03

we have 16 at our house for xmas day. every year its either at my house or my inlaws. our siblings have no kids and never host but always come to us, as does my mum and grandpa.

everyone contributes one food item plus wine and we are considered to be the venue providers but not solely responsible for food/ drink.

dh has been given 3 bottles of champagne and 4 cava plus 12 bottles of wine by clients at the last minute.

we will probably hide Blush save the vintage champagne and use the cava on the day, plus use some of our wine.

my question is this: is it tight to ask our relatives to bring wine when we have quite a bit in the house anyway?

should i ring them and say dont bother with the wine/booze?

also, should point out that the booze is dh's but my side of the family is much larger

AIBU to not use all our own wine on xmas day?

OP posts:
PrincessScrumpy · 23/12/2011 14:15

I'd keep it as it is or next time, when you may not have such good supplies, they won't bring any either.

michglas · 23/12/2011 14:42

I would however refer your husband to the Bribery Act Grin

PattySimcox · 23/12/2011 14:48

OP - yes keep your wine, all guests should contribute.

ESP - please wrestle it from her grip and kindly open it for her so she can drink some of it and can't take it home

NinkyNonker · 23/12/2011 16:03

Of course they should still bring their own. I would stash it away.

birdsofshoreandsea · 23/12/2011 16:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

googietheegg · 23/12/2011 16:08

Just because your DH has been given wine it doesn't mean your family don't have to contribute. Hide it all I say, as long as you have plenty of nice stuff to offer.

3WiseBoys · 23/12/2011 16:13

Not at all unreasonable or tight.

Think of it this way, the alcohol was a gift, would you give all your other gifts away?

We have 20 odd people over every boxing day and all bring their own alcohol. Although if they didn't they wouldn't be drinking at all as me and DH don't drink.

Goolash · 23/12/2011 16:19

yanbu

Stash away the nice stuff so it's not opened. If people will be helping themselves they may not think if they see a bottle hanging around looking lonely.

We spend several at my parents every Christmas and always take a large wine box, few nice bottles and some soft drinks. Everyone does similar so there's always a good supply. Even if they'd been given a case of wine I'd still expect to do the same.

IloveJudgeJudy · 23/12/2011 16:41

Agree. Stash away the nice stuff for just you and DH. At Christmas people bring what they're going to drink if someone else is providing the food, normally. We're going to DB's (it's his turn this year, will be ours next) and we're taking all the drink we're going to drink (bottle of gin, tonic, H20s, Coke, beer), but we've all agreed that it's not fair to expect one family to provide everything, so I'm doing puddings, someone's doing starters, someone else is doing biscuits, etc, we're also taking tin of chocs and Pringles. We do not want to be thought of as spongers. DB is always very generous with drink when we go round there, but we don't want to take the mickey and expect. It's very kind of DB to invite us and we can stay the night and don't expect him to provide anything except Christmas meal and breakfast the next day.

You wouldn't want all your nice booze just drunk as one of many bottles of wine/fizz, would you? You want to savour it on a special occasion.

SolidGoldStockingFilla · 24/12/2011 00:46

ESP: take it, open it, sniff it and either rampage about how delicious it is while slinging it into glasses or go 'Oh dear, you've been done, it'sgone off!' and tip it down the sink.

ravenAK · 24/12/2011 00:55

Go through the gifted booze, squirrel away the 'good stuff' & leave the rest out as part of the general conviviality.

Definitely no reason why guests/family shouldn't BTOB.

rookiemater · 24/12/2011 08:45

YANBU. We are hosting for 10 and tbh I'm quite shocked at the cost of everything and we haven't had to buy wine specially as DH is part of a wine club.

I'd use a couple of bottles of the cava as its nice to have some fizz on Christmas day then use what they have brought.

BandOMothers · 24/12/2011 09:22

God. I would just bloody share it and be glad I had something extra nice to have with my loved ones! Why hide it? So you and DH can gobble it all up alone? Where's the fun in that? Confused

Dozer · 24/12/2011 09:25

Hide it!

Dozer · 24/12/2011 09:26

But bandomothers, maybe the people coming round are not her loved-ones, they don't sound it!

MrsHankey · 24/12/2011 09:30

I would expect that others will still bring wine & no need to tell them not to. As someone else has said lots of people have wine racks/cellars full of wine but you will still bring some when visiting.

Keep the champers, as long as you'll have something soon to celebrate. Some of it doesn't keep very long (have known someone to keep champagne for a special occasion and kept it too long so it was spoilt).

mrsjay · 24/12/2011 09:31

id use a few bottles of your own then get them to bring a bottle why should they drink all your wine its not tight at all , YANBU

WorkingClassMum · 24/12/2011 09:37

It's not actually hidin as much as it's your wine and they should bring their own to drink. I find it odd that you feel you have to share what is ostensibly a gift - of it was clothes you'd hardly say "Hey come naked and wear my new clothes".

Def put it away and enjoy it nicely later on.

WorkingClassMum · 24/12/2011 09:37

*hiding

LydiaWickham · 24/12/2011 09:47

I would hide the good champange, mainly to make sure it's not opened by mistake. (or if not hide, put it away from the cava you are happy to open.)

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