to ask you to make me laugh? Funniest Christmas Day stories please

[Newmummytobe79]

In need of a giggle and I'm sure some of you have some very embarassing/funny/toe curling Christmas Day stories.

Please brighten up my miserable day!

My Mum died last Oct and we had her ashes in a black plastic tub in the cardboard box bag, The type with string handles that you put xmas gifts in. She was in the spare room until I could think of where to lay her to rest.
I didn,t want to leave her on her own upstairs on xmas day so I brought her down and put her under the xmas tree next to the Dinner table.
During dinner I didn.t tell anyone she was there but felt comforted that she was with us.
After Dinner my DS age 23, saw the box behind the tree, looked in and saw the black plasdtic pot.
He took her in the kitchen thinking that I had bought him some protein shakes for xmas. Opened her up and was just about to add her to milk and realised what the ash was.
We still laugh about it now and she would have found it hilarious!!
She will not be with us for xmas dinner this year!

I set my 2 yo DDs hair on fire at christmas eve christingle service!

Pippala

Not a funny story as such, but it really makes me chuckle:

I have a few, all about my gran. My gran and her brother had 7 years between them and they argued non stop about everything after a huge bust up 75 years previously which then continued during the war when she accused her SIL of having various affairs.

We went to my gran's for New Years Day. For the first time her neighbour is home instead of at one of her sons and my gran goes through to have a drink with her... ending up pissed as a fart and incapable of cooking dinner. She invites neighbour to dinner and tells my mum to get on with cooking. My mum soon indicates she needs my dad's help. Turns out my gran seems to have just browned the turkey and it's raw inside. Cue my mum and dad frantically trying to cook the turkey before she poisons anyone. The meal goes ahead with me and my brother knowing nothing until we get home. During pudding my gran pours drambuie for the adults and only my brother's partner and I don't get one. My gran being pissed then knocks over my mum's glass, glares at my mum and snottily says, "Don't think you're getting another one there's none left!" My mum is rather dumbfounded and no one knows where to look. My gran and her neighbour finish their drinks and my gran gets up and reappears with a new bottle of drambuie. Glares at my mum again and says "you wasted yours, so don't think you're getting one!" When she died 2 and a half years ago, we were trying to remember Turkey Gate as we called it and dh asked if it was 1996 as there was an entry in her diary "Had the family over, hard work, don't think the meal went well!" We couldn't stop laughing.

So I'm heavily pregnant with dd and offer to have everyone to ours. And my uncle's wife is in a home and my dad picks her up to join us. My gran hated Mice so my aunt starts describing how much she loves them with their beady little eyes and long tails. My aunt being a bit dolally is completely obilvious to my gran and her reaction while we're struggling not to laugh.

The last one was 3 years ago. It was my gran's last christmas and my mum and dad were in Oz with my sister and we took gran to a hotel for lunch. You had to pre-order and gran wanted Christmas pudding. We were unaware that they home made big puddings and there was one to be shared at each table. So the rest of us got our puddings when 2 waiters arrived to light the pudding which was huge. Dh was videoing it as he'd realised what they were doing at other tables and my gran's reaction was hilarious as she looked bemused as to what they were doing then not sure if it was for her.

one year I had a huge frozen turkey but it was not defrosted in time so I ran the bath full of water to help it defros quicker then me and the xh along with the dc went to the pub for ONE drink,I ended up staying till closing,was completely rat arsed,came home and in said pissed state I decided to try and fish the turkey out the bath and cook it.Then my elderly neighbour knocked o the door inviting us round for a christmas drink,she served whisky,I got even more plastered and had to come home for a little lie down as was now completely wasted even merrier.

dinner was served very very late and tbh was shite but was funny after especially apparently my attempting to heave huge turkey out of bath,drain it and put it into roasting tin

bump... anymore for anymore?

I made pirogi (dumplings filled with various things, we always do potatoes or cabbage at Christmas) with my 2yo today. She cut out the dough for wrapping, then every time I asked whether she wanted potato or cabbage, she said "tatoes". Then after wrapping them up, it was "shh, tatoes sleeping! "