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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

.. to be seriously thinking about giving my 10yr old a lump of coal in his stocking?

30 replies

betterwhenthesunshines · 23/12/2011 10:39

... and keeping his much longed for iPod for myself? He's done nothing but lump about the house, grumble if I ask him to do anything to help, pick fights with his sister, back chat me blah blah. Any time out / warnings he just shrugs, says sorry, but 30 mins later we're back to the same thing and I need some ideas that are going to hit him where it hurts (metaphorically, although I do feel like giving him a bl**dy great wallop [grumpy tired emotion] )

Any festive alternatives to a naughty step?

OP posts:
AKMD · 23/12/2011 10:41

YABU, coal is expensive and hard to find. You would need to buy a whole bag of it too - where would you keep the rest?

Keep the iPod hidden away, do a 'standard' present for him to unwrap with a note saying he has another present later if he can possibly manage to do xyz for the whole day.

ninedragons · 23/12/2011 10:52

When is his birthday? If it's within striking distance (ie before Easter), I would go with coal and some boring presents, and give him the iPod for his birthday.

I wouldn't reward shitty behaviour.

And he's 10, he won't know what coal looks like. Just find a black rock at the park and use that.

Original poster
betterwhenthesunshines · 23/12/2011 10:58

Birthday not until October. It's not big time dreadful behaviour, but just relentless, ongoing, exhausting, draining surliness that is just making the whole house a fed up place to be. I think maybe no discussion, no warning, just a banishment to a boring place EVERY time until he gets the message. Goodness me it's just like a toddler again...

AKMD like your suggestion.

OP posts:
IKilledIgglePiggle · 23/12/2011 11:05

My 10 yo DS is the same. You should've see the display I got this morning when I told himto get ready because dad is taking you for a hair cut, it really is like having Kevin the teenager in the house even though he is only 10.......i'm just trying to concentrate on 7yo DS and 1 yo DD and ignore the grinch in the corner.

themightyfandango · 23/12/2011 11:11

My 10yr old Ds is like this too recently. I actually feel cheered up reading this as it makes me realise it's not just mine. I guess hormones are kicking in at this age, if it's any consolation my DD was horrid between about 9-11yrs but a lovely teenager(now almost 19). Better to get it out of their system now!

MissMogwi · 23/12/2011 11:15

My 10yr old DD is swinging between lovely and helpful and moody drama queen.

I keep getting the head snake and the eye roll.

Good times ahead! Xmas Grin

squeakytoy · 23/12/2011 11:16

Naughty steps are for toddlers, not ten year olds.

Send him out into the garden to pick up leaves or wash the car.

AFuckingFestiveKnackeredWoman · 23/12/2011 11:17

You have described my nine year old. I asked him to get dressed so we could go get a dvd HE wanted and it was like i asked him to come puppy stomping! Endless whining all the way to town and round the shops.

He is only in year 4, I didnt think i would get this shite till secondery school at least!

AKMD · 23/12/2011 11:18

My 1yo DS threw an hour long tantrum yesterday because I wasn't grandma Hmm

I told him he wasn't having any blackberries. He was suitably chastened. Blackberries are the 1yo equivalent of a 10yo's iPod.

LordOfTheFlies · 23/12/2011 11:41

Cor AKMD you give your 1 yo a Blackberry??

My 12 yo DS has only got a Touch Phone.
He wants to come and live with you.

He's not stroppy (honest) Xmas Grin

Tiptoes away. whistling...

TheAnnoyingSatsuma · 23/12/2011 11:50

Trying and failing to get my DC to tidy their bedrooms.
I have unplugged and hidden the Wii and said they won't get it back until Twelfth Night unless the rooms are tidy by 12.30.

Once they twig that their main present - Skylanders - is useless unless they have the Wii, i expect to see some serious tidying action Xmas Grin.

sherbetpips · 23/12/2011 11:56

For us this is the first year that the santa 'naughty/nice' is having no effect, he has been a little bugger in the lead up to Christmas. Loving Annoyingsatsumas suggestion as we have also bought skylanders, the wii will go if the back chat, ungratefulness continues.......

sashh · 23/12/2011 11:57

Don't do it.

My aunt once got a piece of coal and a dirty potato. She played with them all day even after the parents showed her santa had actually hidden all her presents.

They were (apparently I wasn't born) practically begging her to play with her toys by the end of the day.

sherbetpips · 23/12/2011 11:58

and what is it with the Kevin the Teenager behaviour from a 7 year old - everything creates whinging - dinners ready - whinge - video shop to get a game for you - whinge - day out - whinge - time for bed - whinge.

I mean come on eating dinner and bedtime are hardly surprising - they happen every flippin day and the daily battle is soooo irritating

EuphemiaInExcelsis · 23/12/2011 12:17

We had a meltdown with DD (9.6) on Weds for this exact behaviour.

She's mending her ways, for now at least ...

She was sobbing at one point "I'm just going to get a big pile of coal for Christmas because I've been bad!" Xmas Grin

Dad making her stack the dishwasher then tidy her room soon put these ideas out of her head. Xmas Smile

Gawd bless us, one and all.

MudAndGlitter · 23/12/2011 12:18

DS is ignoring me because I can't magic up grandad. I'm surprisingly not too bothered as I'm ill and can now lay under a duvet and MN.

lostlady · 23/12/2011 12:23

This thread has really cheered me up (sorry, no helpGrin)

Glad nit just my 10 yr old dd; just as msmogwi describes: love the "head snake and eye roll"! Shall smirk inwardly instead of fuming next time I am the recipient of it

lostlady · 23/12/2011 12:24

Apologies, MissMogwi confused by posting on phone

Earlybird · 23/12/2011 13:37

DD is behaving a bit like this atm.

I think a large part of it is over-excitement/anticipation regarding Christmas and boredom now that school is out. She's spent time with friends the past few days (sometimes here, sometimes at theirs), and it has made a HUGE difference to her mood, and the general atmosphere 'round the house.

RainboweBrite · 23/12/2011 13:58

OP, the thought has crossed my mind more than once over the last few weeks too! I seriously considered sending a warning message from Santa, but decided against it eventually. Luckily for both of us, he's decided to behave again, so hope it's a short lived phase for your DS too.

Merran · 23/12/2011 18:01

Potato would be a good alternative!

LovesBloominChristmas · 23/12/2011 18:05

Buy a bag and I'll have a lump too, just put dd to bed cause she has been a major pain all day long.

Gonzo33 · 23/12/2011 18:13

I had to Xmas Grin at this because I have a 10 yr old ds as well, and he is exactly like this. I also get the back chat, sighs, objections, strops and shouting.

I seriously thought this didn't start until secondary school. How wrong I was!

MissMogwi · 23/12/2011 18:32

We've had a full on strop today. Tears, shouting and dramatic outbursts. And that's just me Grin.

Jesus.

It's all his fault Grin

crazygracieuk · 23/12/2011 18:55

Omg!! My 10 year old is exactly the same. I am really tempted not to give him the main present that he really wants for Christmas as he's been a pain too.

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