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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To really dislike Christmas...

17 replies

silentcatastrophe · 22/12/2011 18:14

Everyone shoots off to their family boltholes... So we don't see many friends. A long dark time of year, lit up with sodding fairy lights and presents nobody usually wants. I usually become ill round about christmas time. The anxiety and stress are horrible. I don't like it. How to make a better end of year?

OP posts:

BandOMothers · 22/12/2011 18:17

Who do you have to be with silent...anyone?

sitandnatter · 22/12/2011 18:18

Book a holiday. If I didn't have family, I'd be off to sunnier skies for the festivities. I'd love to take off to somewhere like Benidorm and spend the gift money on a big break.

moondog · 22/12/2011 18:19

Get out for a walk every day in the fresh air.
That goes a looooong way to keeping spirits high.
It is grim at this time of year-hence the celebrations to lessen the blame.

Ephiny · 22/12/2011 18:19

What's causing you so much anxiety and stress? Sometimes it's possible to simplify things, forget about expectations and having a 'perfect' Christmas, it's not worth making yourself ill and miserable for.

Original poster

silentcatastrophe · 22/12/2011 18:27

My mother has Alzheimers, and probably won't know her family in a year. My brother will be there, who is a thick idiot. My father has too many problems of his own. Dh and I are having a rough time at the moment, and our children are reacting badly. If I could go away, I would. I really would.

OP posts:

Ephiny · 22/12/2011 18:46

Sorry to hear that :(

It's a difficult time of year for lots of people, no doubt about it - all the 'happy families' hype, but it's not like that for many of us. Best of luck for getting through the next few days, it'll be over soon!

LidlDonkey · 22/12/2011 18:56

No, YANBU. Christmas isn't a fun time for everyone. I always take part in all the festivities for the children's sake, but would be happy to forget the whole thing these days. It just seems like lots of hard work and expense for nothing, really.

Original poster

silentcatastrophe · 22/12/2011 19:07

Yes, I think the bit that irks me most is all this 'happy families' shite. My birthday is at the end of the year, which is pretty crap too. I just feel so sad.

OP posts:

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/12/2011 19:10

Nobodies family is happy all the time; we're bombarded with media projections of how happy we should all be withour perfect lives; it's completely unrealistic.

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum, it's like a horror without end. Alzheimers is such a cruel disease, less so for the sufferer, I think, but horrific for the families. My grandmother had it. :(

Don't focus on a perfect Christmas, silent, try for some 'quite nice' times in between and maybe one or two 'highlights' and look forward to them. It will get better, just maybe not in time for this Christmas.

minimisschief · 22/12/2011 19:53

i have to say i always love my pressies and being all warm and cozy with family.

yabu

SantasHat · 22/12/2011 19:56

Silent Another Christmas-hater here too.
I try to make the best of it and put a brave face on it for the kids but it is a horrible time of year.

yellowraincoat · 22/12/2011 19:58

I'm not too fussed by xmas either, my birthday also at the end of the year, so get a bit overwhelmed by all the happy I am meant to be feeling but normally am not.

As others have said, aim for peaceful rather than perfect. People put too much importance on one day.

sittinginthesun · 22/12/2011 20:00

I love christmas, but agree it can be an utter nightmare when things are rough. You sound as though you have a huge amount all piling on top of you - your mum being I'll must be so stressful, and it must be putting a huge strain on everything.

deliciousdevilwoman · 22/12/2011 20:01

Are you for fucking real-mini?! No, she isn't BU-given what OP has on her plate, and I am someone who loves Christmas-time with friends/fam, eating too much, giving and receiving presents, crap tv-the whole shebang

Feminine · 22/12/2011 20:03

For me , Christmas is very low key anyway but...

If/when I look out of the window on Christmas Day, I can feel quite sad...there is a weird empty feeling in the air.

I have always felt that.

Its easy to see how it is a harsh time for some, very easy.

OliNIvy · 22/12/2011 20:03

I dont think you're alone, OP. Lots of people - for a variety of reasons - dislike Christmas.

Personally, I like this time of year. It means a break from work, lots of food and an excuse to stay in, loaf on the sofa and watch obscene amounts of telly

I know what you're saying, though. I have had rough Christmases - bereavement, lack of cash, being ill etc.

Try to just relax and let the seasonal madness wash over you. Good luck x

maydaychild · 22/12/2011 20:16

Non Christmas fan here too. Another late dec bday too!
I don't get the hype at all. Lights food traditions all pass me by.
I enjoy it much more now I have LO's but spending time with my family sucks, although generally I like my family.
It's the pressure everyone expects it to be perfect.
Best Christmas I ever had was with best friends, not family.
Bah humbug in a relatively cheerful voice!

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