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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think you don't give a 2yo a present to open and then. . .

14 replies

YankNCock · 22/12/2011 10:01

. . .tell him he can't take it out of the box and play with it?

My FIL suggested DS open the present at theirs this past weekend since we're not seeing them on Christmas. So DS (2.3) opens up a lovely Thomas Tidmouth Sheds, is absolutely thrilled, and immediately starts trying to open up the packaging. Of course I start helping him, and then FIL says 'shouldn't you take that away from him now and he can play with it at home'. Thankfully MIL stepped in (she rarely stands up to FIL).

He's bonkers, right? I could see if it was a messy art kit or some such thing for an older child, but DS is 2, FFS.

OP posts:

Firawla · 22/12/2011 10:04

yanbu i dont see the harm as you said it wouldnt make any mess.

SantasNutellaFairy · 22/12/2011 10:04

He's a fruitloop.

Surely it's common sense not to give a child something they want to play with and then not let them?

GrimmaTheNome · 22/12/2011 10:04

YANBU, your FIL hadn't thought that one through.

Salmotrutta · 22/12/2011 10:05

YANBU - he's 2 and lives in the moment. Good for your MIL

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 22/12/2011 10:05

If he is suffering from some sort of senility, then, it is just sad. If not, what a twat! You can't give a kid something then expect them not to open it - what a misery guts. If it was playboy or something messy then I understand but not Tidmouth sheds!

Badgerwife · 22/12/2011 10:06

yep, totally bonkers. He must have forgotten what it's like to be a child!

Winkly · 22/12/2011 10:07

Jeez FIL why not eat an icecream 3 inches from the child's face while you're at it? If its not messy or very noisy and there isn't a major time constraint of course a 2 year old should be allowed to open his own toy.

Original poster

YankNCock · 22/12/2011 10:09

DH thought it was probably because he didn't want to be left with the packaging to recycle. Which isn't an excuse, because MIL does all that anyway!

FIL is a control freak. Not senile, but going deaf and refusing to admit it, so forcing everyone to put up with the TV constantly on at ridiculously high volume.

OP posts:

Original poster

YankNCock · 22/12/2011 10:13

His other classy move this past weekend was ignoring DS when DS was waving a Thomas DVD at him asking 'watch Thomas please?', because FIL was watching fucking Judge Judy (at top volume of course). DS asked really nicely about 4 times before FIL sighed and relinquished the TV.

FIL does not like his routine changed one bit, not even for a grandchild he hasn't seen in 6 months. God, he winds me up. And DH is a mental wreck from spending 48 hours there. He said as we left he never wanted to go back. If it weren't for his mum, I don't think he would.

OP posts:

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 22/12/2011 10:14

Ha ha, iPad spell checker inserted playboy in my message as it didn't like playdoh!!!!! Clearly meant playdoh, though of course both can be messy!!

pigletmania · 22/12/2011 10:14

YANBU its either all or nothing, if you tell the child to open the present expect him to want to use it, or if you don't want him playing with it until Christmas, tell him that its for Christmas day and not to open it.

boohoobabywho · 22/12/2011 10:26

it could be that he intended to give you the presnet to open on Christmas day as you were leaving....

seeing the kid open the present was a clear indidcation that you were going to stay longer and he obviously had a more pressing engagement with JUDGE JUDY.

My mum is pretty much the same, I have perfected a 'bubble' her actions dont bother me any more, but then, we live 300 miles away!

chunkythighs · 22/12/2011 11:00

cook

Original poster

YankNCock · 22/12/2011 14:17

oh no boohoo, he fully intended that DS should open it then and there. That's why it was so stupid that he then expected me to take it away from him!

We weren't quite ready to leave yet, had at least an hour, which he knew, because he asked us about a million times 'what time are you setting off?' He doesn't ask as a means to get you to leave, he just has a thing about controlling everything. Once he knows what time we intend to leave, then he can do his scheduled nagging 'have you packed x' 'will it all fit in the car' 'shouldn't you be packed up now' 'have you got petrol'

Reading it, it sounds like he's being concerned and caring, but it isn't like that. It's not even comical. He doesn't listen to the answers, because then he can ask you again five minutes later. He's always been like this according to DH, and has actually 'mellowed' but the family is still constantly on edge from so many years of his controlling behaviour and explosive temper.

OP posts:

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