AIBU to be rather panicked at sudden and total change to christmas plans?

[HettyAmaretti]

We were to go to PILS for christmas day, boxing day at home with DP, DC, BIL and SiL. Boxing day we have organised between is, no fuss.

But, we are now no longer invited to PIL's for christmas day. It's a long story. We / they don't do the whole Big Christmas thing but we have to do something. My family can't be with us, I need the distraction TBH.

So, yes, I am stressed. Do not know if I need to cater just for us or for BIL and SIL (or just one of them, or neither of them). Have nothing planned and christmas do's at school and playschool today too.

DP is furious that I'm stressed. AIBU (surely not?) to be stressed?

Don't know where the hell to start

Not in the UK so running in to M&S or whereever and grabbing some crappy pre-prepped stuff isn't possible.

I would call BIL and SIL and confirm that they are still coming on Boxing day. I think they will be grateful to be away from the PIL and happy to be with you, whatever you provide for them to eat. They will not judge you for not having a massive spread organised because they are aware of what has just gone on. Maybe they could give you some tips as to the best places to get things from?

For Christmas day, make a modest meal and enjoy the rest from not having to keep the peace at PILS and have fun with the DC. We have a roast chicken and the trimmings, as there is just DH and I. We really enjoy it, and also the leftovers. I imagine your DC won't mind what they have to eat. (As a child we always had chicken for Christmas lunch.)

Thank you all!

I am calming down and shall concentrate on that for now. I miss my own family so much at this time of year, makes me overreact a bit.

And yes it is a relief really, there would probably have been scenes at PIL's anyway.

So, right, I shall remain calm, make a plan, carry it out then relax and have fun. DD is still at school tomorrow and I've just arranged for DS to have an extra morning at playschool too thus buying myself time.

All will be well

Oh, and DP has emailed ot apologise for being U.

Please don't worry. It sounds like your Christmas will be a lot less stressful if it is just the four of you on Christmas Day. Our Christmas plans got upset last year due to bad weather and there were just the three of us on Christmas Day. We had the most relaxing Christmas I can remember and really enjoyed it.

It isn't too late to go shopping and buy food for the weekend, so just go ahead and tell yourself it doesn't really matter if everything isn't "just so". Believe me this really does take the pressure off.

Why aren't you sure about BIL and SIL? Have they taken their parents' side? Surely a quick phone call can settle your Boxing Day plans.

Boxing day plans are unchanged.

BIL still lives with PIL but is very much in agreement with DP and SIL. He;s just come off a night shift so I really can't call him. SIL wasn;t invited to christmas at PIL's and may already have plans, she can't be contacted until later in the day either.

But, I can shop tomorrow morning.

Poor, poor DN (11) wil most likely be on her own with PIL (effectively her parents) for Christmas. That makes me feel really quite shit.

Should have namechanged. Oh well.