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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas cakes/biscuits hand-baked by neighbors..unreasonable to throw away?

128 replies

Feminine · 22/12/2011 00:34

I do not like eating hand-baked goodies from the neighbors...at all Wink

Every year, masses and masses is given to our family for the Christmas season.

I haven't seen their kitchens nor do I know if they wash their hands etc, I would prefer to know they are clean before giving them to the children.

This is possibly totally irrational and un-kind, I just can't do it though.

Reading it back I look vile ...I know Blush

Would you eat baked goods, not really knowing the source?

AIBU to just slide the whole lot in to the trash?

Actually, I would like to be told I am...there is so much, the children are eyeing it up even though I thought I had hidden it from them

OP posts:
Original poster
Feminine · 22/12/2011 19:12

spotty I am not like your neighbor...Wink

If I know my hosts well, or they are friends I am always very grateful for suppers/ tea ...cake even :) I tuck in with great gusto!

These bits, (that I am talking about) are a bit mysterious.

I will not eat egg mayonnaise anywhere but home though... maybe I need help?

OP posts:
kickassangel · 23/12/2011 01:57

I know exactly what Fem means - it's kind of a tradition to buy plain cookies, then cover them in betty crocker sludge frosting, and stick candies all over them.

kids love them. they love them so much that they often lick the candy/their fingers etc as they make them.

in spite of that, fem, i would happily feed them to dd, but would forego the disgusting pleasure myself.

Today I was given a batch of home-made mint brownies. They look lovely Apart from the burnt bit on the bottom

As your kids get older, the quality improves, Fem. Once you're of an age to go to cookie exchanges where most people's kids have left home, then you actually get some really decent treats. I have about 10 years to go.

Original poster
Feminine · 23/12/2011 03:45

THANK YOU so much kick Grin

I won't get to sample those though...after 6+ years we are going home to the UK in a couple of months!

It sounds like you have been here a while? :)

OP posts:
kickassangel · 23/12/2011 05:31

3 years, but now on green cards so staying indefinitely. Are you glad to be going home? 6 years is a long time.

LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay · 23/12/2011 10:22

Not BY at all. I'm hardcore veggie and you often get margarine with animal fat in. I always smile nicely, accept it and put it in the bowl for the chickens... Totally get where you're coming from! Mind u, I don,t like cake or biscuits anyway!

Original poster
Feminine · 23/12/2011 14:00

kick very glad to be going home:)

My DH is American but prefers the UK ...we were there for 11 years together.

I should have organized citizenship, but we have had so much on our plates ...trying to start over etc...:)

OP posts:
quirrelquarrel · 23/12/2011 17:23

The more germs healthy kids ingest, the better. It will be GOOD for them.

I wish people would realise these things...there is no need to be scrupulous about cleanliness unless you're ill or in a hospital or have gaping open wounds. A bit of salt or mud in a cut will not kill children with healthy immune systems.

mrsjay · 23/12/2011 17:32

thats horrible do you have ocd or some clean freak thing going on , Your lovely neighbours spent time and thought of you and your familiy do you go around with durty people is that why you are freaking out ? YNBU and weird , donate the biscuts or throw them its up to you but i just think its weird ,

OhdearNigel · 23/12/2011 17:35

Do you not eat in restaurants, cafes and the like, OP ? Most people have far higher standards of cleanliness than commercial outlets.

And baked goods are very low risk. I have a cake business and the fact that I only handle baked items mean I do not have to be inspected regularly as they are very low risk.

Do you allow your children to eat the food at birthday parties ? After all, who knows what the kitchen might be like [shrieks in alarm]....

OhdearNigel · 23/12/2011 17:37

" live in the US , round here, it is the done thing to distribute them for all the neighbors...they don't personally pick us out to give iyswim?"

Are you in Stepford ???

mrsjay · 23/12/2011 17:38

YABU* i read on and saw its a neighbourhood thing wish my neighbours were so kind , if you dont want to eat them donate them dont let them go to waste cos your scared somebody hasnt washed hands ,m and reasturants have mass germs in them and waiters pick their noses Grin

Original poster
Feminine · 23/12/2011 17:57

Yes, Nigel I am Wink

And to the rest of you ...read my posts or please don't waste your energy typing.

I have already explained where I am coming from-guess you need to live here to get it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Feminine · 23/12/2011 18:00

Oh, and btw mrsjay think about those that genuinely suffer from OCD or some "clean freak" thing going on.

Think about how those words could sting eh?

I don't have anything serious ...it is never alright to mock those who have mental health issues.

OP posts:
mrsjay · 23/12/2011 18:16

I didnt have a go at people with ocd i asked if you had ocd , or were you just a clean freak , If you have ocd then i understand you wouldnt be abe to eat biscuits , if you are a clean freak then its just weird , but eat them dont eat them its up to you , but YABVU .

Original poster
Feminine · 23/12/2011 18:22

"do you have ocd or some clean freak thing going on?"

Read your words again you sounded mocking.

what is a "clean freak" anyway Confused I have never met one.

OP posts:
Jinsel · 23/12/2011 18:28

I don't think YABU and I've slung homemade gifts in the past.

The garlic infused oil in a less than clean bottle and the cakes with a cat hair on one for example. I had a colleague whose house was filthy, everyone I know washed up and cleaned the kitchen worktops while they were there, and she insisted on homemade food based presents for everyone.

MatLeaveForever · 23/12/2011 18:30

My DH also doesn't eat food gifts that friends have baked - it's not really logical as he's more than happy to eat out at restaurants etc but is always funny about eating in other people's houses (not his parents!) or food other people have cooked! It's just a personal choice, as long as you're not offended the giver to their face then you're not being unreasonable.

eurochick · 23/12/2011 18:49

I'd much rather have a homemade cake that wasn't made in a fully sterile environment than shop-bought cake stuffed with additives, sweetners and the cheapest ingredients they could manage.

KeepInMindItsAlmostChristmas · 23/12/2011 18:54

YABU

Original poster
Feminine · 23/12/2011 19:01

Latest posters...please I have already given the assortment to the kids.

I did that quite a while back...

I mighthave been unreasonable, who knows?

Not fond of shitty additive cakey either eurochick -these 'homemade' offerings are Wink

OP posts:
TheJiminyConjecture · 23/12/2011 19:05

YANBU - some people's homes are disgusting.

StrongestMummyInTheWorld · 23/12/2011 21:12

Wow OP, you really upset my world. I'm on a not eating out phase because I know just how poor the hygiene can be. But I love making cakes and biscuits and I involve any children who are hanging around. (Obviously with constant vigilance on the clean hands, but if you blink they are dipping their fingers in the mix.)

Then again if it's just bought biscuits covered in sugar then they probably exceed the sugar ration and get binned automatically in our house. One plain cupcake has around 10 grams of sugar. Some of the shockers I've been offered lately had more than 20 extra grams on top.

If YABU then I'll keep you company.

Original poster
Feminine · 23/12/2011 22:28

Thanks mummy Grin

We have never been talking scrummy home-baked mince pies etc...

I should have attached a pic...I'll bet the feeling on here would have been a bit different! Wink

OP posts:
kickassangel · 23/12/2011 22:53

You're all imagining something like <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.com/imgres?q=images+christmas+home+made+cookie+disasters&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&rlz=1C1GPCK_enUS374US374&biw=1280&bih=709&tbm=isch&tbnid=yA1pS2gfb9KniM:&imgrefurl=katlupesblog.blogspot.com/&docid=ruOc3NgD0FA7bM&imgurl=4.bp.blogspot.com/-v354UHuSoMw/TuzNWHCWHkI/AAAAAAAADW8/Rt6P-pqB9LE/s1600/ginger_cakes.jpg&w=615&h=461&ei=vgT1TrbQIo-3tweSh6HRBg&zoom=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">these
made by <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.com/imgres?q=images+christmas+home+made+cookie+disasters&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&rlz=1C1GPCK_enUS374US374&biw=1280&bih=709&tbm=isch&tbnid=yA1pS2gfb9KniM:&imgrefurl=katlupesblog.blogspot.com/&docid=ruOc3NgD0FA7bM&imgurl=4.bp.blogspot.com/-v354UHuSoMw/TuzNWHCWHkI/AAAAAAAADW8/Rt6P-pqB9LE/s1600/ginger_cakes.jpg&w=615&h=461&ei=vgT1TrbQIo-3tweSh6HRBg&zoom=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">her

The reality is something that looks like <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.com/imgres?q=images+christmas+home+made+cookie+disasters&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&rlz=1C1GPCK_enUS374US374&biw=1280&bih=709&tbm=isch&tbnid=Un1CLmI4XqItyM:&imgrefurl=stuffedandschwasted.wordpress.com/2010/12/23/holiday-edition-cookies-and-candy-and-chex-mix-oh-my/&docid=wp1WqNxM5EitMM&imgurl=stuffedandschwasted.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/img00817-20101222-2105.jpg&w=2048&h=1536&ei=vgT1TrbQIo-3tweSh6HRBg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=407&vpy=386&dur=132&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=69&ty=113&sig=108616732286707920268&page=4&tbnh=152&tbnw=203&start=48&ndsp=16&ved=1t:429,r:12,s:48" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this
or <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.com/imgres?q=images+christmas+home+made+cookie+disasters&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&rlz=1C1GPCK_enUS374US374&biw=1280&bih=709&tbm=isch&tbnid=ZKDf4e6A9i6i7M:&imgrefurl=www.bigredkitchen.com/2008_12_01_archive.html&docid=dn_mZ5Nq19DVoM&imgurl=1.bp.blogspot.com/_8Wde_YQM5cI/SUZfc82ZUEI/AAAAAAAAC90/BJvGT30JseA/s400/IMG_7444.JPG&w=400&h=300&ei=vgT1TrbQIo-3tweSh6HRBg&zoom=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this
made from ingredients like <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.com/imgres?q=images+christmas+home+made+cookie+disasters&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&rlz=1C1GPCK_enUS374US374&biw=1280&bih=709&tbm=isch&tbnid=yw9kR3OhWJWFfM:&imgrefurl=www.thesimpledollar.com/2010/11/19/homemade-gift-series-10-homemade-cookies-and-gift-bundle/&docid=17XLHhcvJLQuMM&imgurl=farm2.static.flickr.com/1290/5187160701_8d1ae77d3f.jpg&w=500&h=375&ei=vgT1TrbQIo-3tweSh6HRBg&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=441&sig=108616732286707920268&page=13&tbnh=155&tbnw=216&start=195&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:11,s:195&tx=114&ty=37" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this
by someone looking like <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.com/imgres?q=images+christmas+home+made+cookie+disasters&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&rlz=1C1GPCK_enUS374US374&biw=1280&bih=709&tbm=isch&tbnid=yw9kR3OhWJWFfM:&imgrefurl=www.thesimpledollar.com/2010/11/19/homemade-gift-series-10-homemade-cookies-and-gift-bundle/&docid=17XLHhcvJLQuMM&imgurl=farm2.static.flickr.com/1290/5187160701_8d1ae77d3f.jpg&w=500&h=375&ei=vgT1TrbQIo-3tweSh6HRBg&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=441&sig=108616732286707920268&page=13&tbnh=155&tbnw=216&start=195&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:11,s:195&tx=114&ty=37" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this

kickassangel · 23/12/2011 22:55

Sorry - <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.com/imgres?q=images+christmas+home+made+cookie+disasters&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&rlz=1C1GPCK_enUS374US374&biw=1280&bih=709&tbm=isch&tbnid=_7Mafm2l2tJTuM:&imgrefurl=www.goodhousekeeping.com/holidays/christmas-ideas/celebrity-christmas-treats-and-traditions&docid=dDMydQyqM0V4qM&imgurl=www.goodhousekeeping.com/cm/goodhousekeeping/images/gm/martha-stewart-holding-cookie-tray-1210-s3-medium_new.jpg&w=300&h=400&ei=vgT1TrbQIo-3tweSh6HRBg&zoom=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">her

made by someone looking like <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.com/imgres?q=images+christmas+home+made+cookie+disasters&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&rlz=1C1GPCK_enUS374US374&biw=1280&bih=709&tbm=isch&tbnid=im_tFFTUKugYRM:&imgrefurl=www.southernangel.com/humor/holidays/cmascook.html&docid=yyFVUewQTIQ_5M&itg=1&imgurl=www.southernangel.com/humor/holidays/ashchoc.jpg&w=297&h=283&ei=vgT1TrbQIo-3tweSh6HRBg&zoom=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this

hope I've c&p correctly this time