is it being unreasonable to ask for sex

18 replies

knockneedandknackered1 · 22/12/2011 00:12

is it being unreasonable to ask for sex i have to wait nearly once a month and im wanting to have a baby i havent much time im 33 and my partner is 42 and i have left it rather late to have a second child. my partner seems to have lost his sex drive and where just down to once a month and its not when im fertile,he seems to have lost his labido and i just cant seem to think ill get pregnant anytimesoon.

OP posts:

MeltedAdventCalendarChocolates · 22/12/2011 00:14

Oops, you may offend. Many mums here only starting to have kids around the age of 40!

Flisspaps · 22/12/2011 00:16

I think the issue you need to address is what has caused your partner's dip in libido. If you're seeing sex purely as a tool for getting pregnant rather than as part of a normal, loving relationship with no pressure to conceive that could be the cause. Does he want another child too? Are there other issues, eg work problems, tiredness or depression?

WorraLiberty · 22/12/2011 00:17

There are an awful lot of I's in that OP

Could that be part of the problem?

FabbyChic · 22/12/2011 00:17

You need to work on your relationship before embarking on having another child.

Your relationship does not seem stable enough for it to be able to carry any more burdens. Children are not toys that you get two of.

Flisspaps · 22/12/2011 00:17

And 33 certainly isn't late to be thinking of having a second child!

Original poster

knockneedandknackered1 · 22/12/2011 00:17

hope dont offend anyone as im just going on about my experience

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WorraLiberty · 22/12/2011 00:18

Melted I don't see why that's offensive

Though I take your point, some people would be offended at a paper bag blowing by in the street.....

LEttletownofBOFlehem · 22/12/2011 00:22

It does indicate a woefully selfish inability to recycle, Worral.

OP, do you discuss stuff like this with your partner? 42 seems young to lose all sex drive.

Original poster

knockneedandknackered1 · 22/12/2011 00:24

well we were both planning on a second child as i never wanted my first to be a lonely child but it hasent happened yet. i was scared at first has i had pre eclampsia and i thought it would happen but it a seconed time so ihad to wait along time to get other it.thats why its taken solong to try for a seconed it hasent happened as quickly as i thought it would my partner seems to be tired all the time or it has just got down to once a month.

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Flisspaps · 22/12/2011 00:27

Then you and your DP need to work on your relationship and sort out why he's tired or not interested in sex before adding another baby and all the stresses that come with it into your relationship. Honestly, at 33 you've got years left.

Original poster

knockneedandknackered1 · 22/12/2011 00:34

hes jobs hard labour so i no he's tired and i try to make an effort when he comes home and make it more easy for him. i dont no what to do when he was younger he dident have much sexual experiences just the odd thumble when he met me i took my time with him and we decideded to have are first baby trouble is i dont no how though has i have never seen him come

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3inABIRDsnest · 22/12/2011 00:41