time to give up

[DependencyInjection]

I think I'm really fed up of being reasonable
so are these unreasonable things

work is boring and I get patronised alot - I think I will quit between christmas and the new year (just walk, the reference is worthless see below)

DW drinks every night (min 1 btl wine) - I'd like her to drink less

For DW, DD1 & DD2 to listen to me (ah! great expectations with rose tinted glasses there)

For senior management of an FSA regulated City Company to listen when they are told that their golden boy has littered the company with programmatic security holes

For collegues to listen to me given that its based on knowledge and experience (and a fair few qualifications) - rather than doing what they want and droping the company payroll database.

To be able to go out for a few beers of an evening without feeling guilty about it

Sad thing is I find that the only people who appear to be prepared to listen to me or take an interest are the local tramps and rough sleepers who sleep on the overground sideings - they are the one who ask how my children are doing or if DW is feeling better after her illness or how things are going at work.

Meh!

Just wanted to offer some support.
You sound like you are good at your job. You could 'work to rule' til you find a better job' as it doesn't sound like they will ever listen to you. Re drinking wife - hard to say what to do, sounds horrendous. Are there DC involved? It doesn't like you are enjoying your relationship and you do deserve to.

Maybe trying to solve too many problems at once.

Work - maybe just park that one for now, everyone is in holiday mode.

Wife drinking too much - probably not going to get far with this in the run-up to xmas, could the two of you have some time (even just a weekend) together in the new year to hash this one out?

Children not listening - if your all home I'd focus on this one, how old are your children? sometimes children listen better when we whisper instead of shout.

The drinking drive me up the wall.
A couple of years ago I was signed off work for work related stress initially five weeks, during that period DW's drinking massively escalated until I got to a point where I was so frustrated and angry, I didn't want to be me any-more, so I attempted suicide. Tied a noose on DD1 swing and hung myself (bastard thing to do - it would mentally scar her if she ever finds out). so a quick trip to psych eval, a chat and etc and I'm given the all clear - no longer a danger to myself.

So two years on, her drinking hasn't slowed, I still feel I'm not being listened to. And Meh! what do I do? As my grandad said - if in doubt do nowt. OK so here I an doing nowt. I have a rant at DW about her drinking, so that becomes the reason for her drinking more. She drinks if she's happy, she drinks if she's sad she drinks if I ask her not to drink - cos your putting me under pressure. Oh! for fuck sake woman grow up.

Shit happens eh! my little loves. Me I don't drink at home cos my mother and stepfather hoovered up shitloads of whiskey, vodka, libfraumilch ( my god as a kid I knew it was shite).

haHa Sidebar. When I was 12 I poured my stepfathers whiskey away filled it up with cold weak tea... Oh! I got such a beating... but you know it was worth it. I also pissed in a half bottle of libfraumilch as well. You know! writing that has brought a huge smile to my face... the first in a long time. Shit! it was so worth it.

Anyway back to me. Ye-ha!!! - cowboy. Well actually not me. I sure as shit do not want DD1 and DD2 growing up with pissheads... I lived that life and it got me what exactly... a serious case of the "fuck you, you drunk". Funny though, the little pisshead rough sleepers, I don't mind. I suppose its because I can walk away from it.

Hmm!!!! So my beauties, you gorgeous bunch of lovelies from every walk of life. An I being fucking unreasonable to ask my DW to stop being a pisshead. Me, I don't think so.

So lets look at this from the perspective of Dickens Christmas Carol. So past present and future.

Past I can't stick drunks.
Present I can't stick drunks
Future... well who gives a fuck eh! we don't know.

I'm not happy, I'm bloody unreasonable, eh! my little sweeties.

So a percentage of you think I'm going gaga. a percentage of you will think I'm a danger the vast majority don't give a shit. But I do. Am I going nuts again, don't think so. Do I want DD1 & 2 to see a daddy collapse and burn... no I don't. But could someone ask DW to bloody well sort herself out. I want to sort myself out so I don't think its at all unreasonable to ask her to sort herself out.

HalfMumHalfBiscuit
in debt I ow someone a fiver

• nah I don't financially secure but not comfortable

Maybe I should find myself another job

• lol

James Dean was just a careless driver

• facts speak for themselves

and Marilyn Monroe...

Fuck Girl that was a major blast from the past seeing that
Time flies by as a driver of a train steaming into Trumpton with a cargo of...

Thank you... that album was seminal...

you know your UID has totally lifted me...

Parsley, sage RosemaryandThyme

Do I actually want to solve the problems? Hmmm! It takes two to tango... but one man cannot sole a problem caused by many...

How do I just tell my DW not to just listen and pay lip service but to understand and act

Is there some support thingy you can go to for advice on how to deal with alcoholics? and especially for yourself. I am sure someone will come on here and give you some more advice and suggestions.

I myself had to deal with a couple of alcoholics as a child and found it v scary and now avoid like the plague. Sadly sometimes you can't help the person involved.

Hope you are feeling a bit better today.

Sounds like you need to get hold of some Man friends and discuss tactics with them. Do any of your friends live close enough to you to be supportive? It's amazing how many of us have loads of issues and problems that we would like to share with someone. I'd come and have a chat with you if you lived anywhere near Basingstoke!

M&S singapore noodles - utter disgrace to food. carrot, savoy cabbage and curry powder does not make singapore noodles.

Weeeeelll!!! I think I've decided not to go doolaly-tap I came off the happy pills last year (with the doc's say so), so i think I'll go back to him and get some more... they were very good at switching my thoughts off...

Maybe it time to start doing things for the lulz rather than get involved in shit

Thats a step. Take it steady mind.

Sorry you are having such an awful time. You've logged your concerns with work so try and switch off if you can, "park that" (hate that expression). you can't help your wife, she knows what she is doing. You need to lean on people in RL whom you feel you can trust (HR Dept? your familY, DW's family, friends, relatives) Be open about what's going on you might be suprised at who will support you (imho it was "acquaintances" who were there more than some of my friends). By all means go to your GP but pills can only do so much. I think anyone in your situation would be very anxious. Xmas is notoriously stressful tho so I wouldn't make any big decisions for a while if you could postpone them. Please,ring a friend and go out if you can or get a takeaway in and talk to someone. hope you feel supported, you sound like a good person in a horrible situation.

How are things going OP?

How did xmas go?