Sorry if this is long......
My DSis is 4 yrs younger than me and has been married for 1 yr. I've been married for 8 yrs and have 3 DC. Ever since we were young there have been jealousy issues (from her side) which have continued into adulthood.
She called today for a chat which went down hill rapidly. My DH and I are lucky in many ways, we have our 3 DC (but have suffered heartbreak along the way as we lost a DD this year at 16 weeks), we have a lovely life style (through hard work as we own businesses) and send the DC to private school. We are sensible with our money and also have a second home in the south of France.
DSis has been TTC for a few months with no luck as of yet. Her DH is almost 20 yrs older than she is so that might have something to do with it. I've been tactful when talking about it and have even offered to be surrogate for her if needs be. She has always been the one starting these conversations, I haven't for fear of upsetting her.
Her lifestyle with her DH is a very lonely one. He moved her to the other end of the country and controls her every move. There have been times when she's been close to leaving and I have offered her a place to stay and a job. Every time she has changed her mind about leaving I have supported her. She has no money as she doesn't work and any money my parents give her she spends on her DH.
We got to talking about Christmas as they, along with 10 others, are coming to us again this year and she was very very rude when asking what our DC were having. I was tactful and just said 'oh this and that' without giving details, said that they'd asked for everything as DC do but certainly won't be getting it. I try to make light of every situation regarding money but she always says things like it's not fair, i wish i had that etc. When my eldest turned 7 she was openly envious of her gifts!!!
I love her very much and want a good relationship with her but this 'have and have not' crap coming from her and her DH is doing my head in.
How do i deal with this?