Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Natvity Rage!

34 replies

snowmaiden · 21/12/2011 19:28

AIBU??? DD is in Y2 and her class performed a version of the nativity. She was somewhat put out that she was a soldier and would have liked to have had more than one line to say. However, she wouldn't have coped with all the lines that the lead characters had to learn (especially being an August born, which may or may not be relevant, but may be considering the two lead roles were played by the oldest girl and boy in the class).

Anyway, that's not my gripe. My complaint is that after the performance all the children were given a small chocolate as a little treat, the two children who played the main characters were given a whole box of chocoaltes each as a reward for being so good in the play. AIBU to think this sends the wrong message to the rest of the class who all played a part in the nativity, big or small, and were all just as important. They didn't choose their own roles in the play or audition and the class choose, the teacher dished them out accordingly.

I taught in KS1 for 10 years and this never happened in any of my schools or classes. All the children were rewarded equally for their part in the play and surely being chosen for the lead role and all the praise and attention that goes alongside this is reward enough in itself???? I am actually somewhat fuming about this to be honest as my dd could do with a self esteem boost and things like this just make it harder.

OP posts:
namechangerbat · 21/12/2011 19:29
Hmm
AnyoneforTurps · 21/12/2011 19:30

YANBU - schools are so thoughtless at times.

Liluri · 21/12/2011 19:30

Yes, it's unfair.

But just gloss over it and make light of it if your DD noticed.

Feminine · 21/12/2011 19:31

YANBU.

the reward should have all been the same:)

StewieGriffinsMom · 21/12/2011 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
snowmaiden · 21/12/2011 19:38

I really do feel like pointing it out to the teacher as dd was affected by it as she told me all about the chocolates that the two children were given. Not sure if it will all seem irrelevant after xmas though as the kids have now finished for the holidays.

OP posts:
slavetofilofax · 21/12/2011 19:45

YANBU. Except you are about the soldier bit.

The teachers should have rewarded all children equally, not least because it would probably have been harder for one younger less confident child to say their one line than it would have been for an older very confident child to say fifty lines.

wildstrawberryplace · 21/12/2011 19:47

I kind of know what you mean, but on the other hand they were getting a reward for doing a lot more "work" than the other children and presumably being under a bit more pressure than the other children.

Should the prima ballerina not get flowers because the troupe dancers don't?

It wouldn't have bothered me, tbh. And I say that as the mother of someone who was given the nonspeaking part of a barn animal in the school nativity this year.

Original poster
snowmaiden · 21/12/2011 19:57

That's my point slavetofilofax. I know the children quite well and learning lines and being the centre of attention is exactly what the children chosen to be the main roles love, they clearly rose to it. I am not trying to take away from the two children, they were brilliant, and to be fair, there were no surprises in the casting, one of these children in particular is constantly centre stage, both in and out of school. The point I am making is that all the children performed well to their ability. Other children, given the chance may have done just as well with a larger role.

OP posts:
Original poster
snowmaiden · 21/12/2011 20:00

I take your point wildstrawberry but this is infant school, where we should be fostering the self esteem and emerging talents of ALL the children, not the cut-throat world of The Royal Ballet.

OP posts:
thefirstmrsrochester · 21/12/2011 20:03

The school should have rewarded all of the cast equally I think. It takes more guts for a shy child to say one line, than it does for a more confident one to deliver the starring role. I bet you are not the only parent who is a bit peeved.

thefirstmrsrochester · 21/12/2011 20:06

and this is the best thread title I have come across all season - take a bow OP Xmas Grin

Sinkingfeeling · 21/12/2011 20:08

Loving your thread title, OP! Did your dd notice or comment on the chocolates?

thisisyesterday · 21/12/2011 20:10

it's almost as bad as ds2's nursery, who gave him a box of milk chocolates as a christmas gift

he has a milk intolerance Hmm

herbietea · 21/12/2011 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

1Catherine1 · 21/12/2011 20:13

It is a school nativity play... all the kids should be treated equally regardless of part.

YANBU - I'm sure a lot of kids felt disappointed by not getting the lead but then to rub their nose in it is just not nice.

Rhubarbgarden · 21/12/2011 20:17

It does sound a bit unfair. But that's life. I think you're overreacting a little bit.

underbeneathsies · 21/12/2011 20:17

Hey, that's show business.

But seriously, the leads did a lot more work than just a walk on, one liner or carry a spear. It's a good message IMVHO. Hard work is rewarded.
Maybe she'll up her game for the auditions next year.

troisgarcons · 21/12/2011 20:20

Totally outraged on your behalf

Apples, pears, oranges - it should have been fruit - what with all that healthy eating bollox. How dare they give chocolates out? The Lunch Box Police would impound a nutella sandwich.

Meanwhile back in reality......August birthdays aren't a catch all for being 'behind' and it pisses me off merrily that parents, nay a teacher allegedly, uses it so.

Original poster
snowmaiden · 21/12/2011 20:22

That's my point underbeneathsies- there were no auditions! And it's nothing to do with hard work, you can't do more than walk on and say one line if that's all you are given to do! She worked really hard practising the songs every night- she knew every single song by heart and did her best! You can't do more than that!

OP posts:
Original poster
snowmaiden · 21/12/2011 20:28

troisgarcons she is not behind! And being a teacher puts me in a perfectly good position to know that it makes a hell of difference in many cases, especially in situations which call for a degree of maturity and articulateness. Yes there are many exceptions, and as they get older the gap between pupils narrows but it does exist!

OP posts:
BandOMothers · 21/12/2011 20:32

YADNBU one chocolate each or a box for all....not on. So what if it's after the hols that youu mention it....it is still worth mentioning.

roastparsnipsandbrusselsprouts · 21/12/2011 20:37

YANBU

The pupils have already been rewarded by having the lead roles.

Even if they were great there would have been many others in the class who could have done a brilliant job too but didn't get the chance (no doubt once again) to shine.

Furthermore, dcs like my ds, who is suffering from anxiety and depression, on top of a few other problems, had to overcome an enormous amount just to walk round the audience when his time came. I imagine children like him went unnoticed despite the hard work they put into that.

I am all for all of them being rewarded but they need to be rewarded equally.

I used to teach and it used to wind me up that dcs were rewarded for being naturally talented. It struck me that the rewards should be for those who have overcome the most or who have tried the hardest to improve, not for those who were lucky enough to just be able to do it anyway.

MeconiumHappens · 21/12/2011 20:50

Its not fair and doesnt reinforce a particularly good message, BUT its not really a disaster of epic proportions, and im not sure its worth fuming over Hmm

BuntyPenfold · 21/12/2011 20:58

YANBU what an odd ending to the evening.

However, give DD a hug and tell her she is your star, then forget it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread