to feel so quite so isolated?

[CloudyShed]

Hello

We moved out of our treasured house in London about 3 years ago to the countryside that we grew up in, about an hour from the big city. Reasons being, a: recession meant DH lost his job (nightmare) so we had to go. b: fresh air for the kids c: being near to family.

We lived in London for me 15 years, dh 25 years. Love love loved it but it was time to try something else. Dh's work has been horridly inconsistant and we have struggled on one minute being ok the other not (financially) for the past 3 years, nearly 4. That said our relationship is sound and the children are happy where we are. All good.

My sadness is how much I miss my close girlfriends and (I think) living in a City. (we had lived near each other for nearly 15 years and had our babies at the same time.) We still see each other of course (only this weekend for our xmas do) but its of course not the same.

I miss the busy-ness of living in a city, the impromtu get-togethers and the having dates to look forward to. Perhaps its just that we aren't seeing enough people on a daily/hourly basis? Today I had to wait in my car for an elderly gent to trundle down the lane in his mobility scooter for nearly 15 minutes...am I going mad and is this a truly awful thing to say? help?!

The village in which we live is lovely and the countryside jaw-dropping, we have met some great people (about 3 couples/families) but rural life is not for us as I think we are city cats. Am going to suss out Oxford I think, get to know it a bit. We have nearly naff-all chance of selling up and moving on for the next couple of years but in that time perhaps I could get to know another City?

Am feeling really lost. Thoughts would be appreciated.

You need to have a certain type of mindset to live in the country I think. I'd love it because I'm a loner and quite antisocial, but I can understand how it would drive other people mad. Perhaps you could compromise and move somewhere nice, but a little more populated.

I think it is your years of friendship and the foundations of your life that you miss more than the city. I am a city dweller and have moved to a fantastic, multicultural city in another country. It is rated as one of the top 10 in the world. There is so much to do here. I am so lonely I could cry. I physically have to make myself get out of the house every day, even if it's just to speak to the lady in the post office! I am making friends and they are lovely, but no one wants to be lumbered with a lonely lady and her DS all the time! Those friends you miss have been through so much with you and you have shared memories which you treasure. This takes time to build these kinds of relationships again Thinking of you

Hmm. I wonder if you're hanging on to the idea of your old life so much that you can't accept your new life IYSWIM? Have you made an effort to settle in to your new area, get involved in local activities, feel a part of the community? If you have, and it's still not satisfying you then you may be right, you might need more stimulation. I think I could live anywhere I think - I've lived in tonnes of different places, sometimes in the middle of a city, sometimes out in the country, because where I live doesn't really matter to me, I just get on and get to know a place and make it my home.

I think hanging on to your old life can stop you making a new life, do you think this might be the case? In some ways it can be easier to move faaar away so you have no choice but to move on.