Should i have cancelled my arrangements ?

[ElmosChristmasWish]

SIL(my dh's sister, only see them at xmas every year ) had some bad news yesterday , her dh is ill :( and needs to go into hospital for an operation in January but his outlook is good for a full recovery . I was on the phone to SiL last night for almost an hour to which we made arrangements to visit them next week - the day after boxing day . She seemed happy with this but when i got home from the school run today there was a message from SIL on the house phone saying she will be coming over to us at 8.30am this Friday morning . The thing is my dad is collecting dd at 8.30am on Friday morning to take her & her little cousin to see santa & to go out for something to eat to give Dh & i some time to go shopping to get in DD's birthday present etc . DD is Sil & Bil's godchild so they wanted to see her . After i explained that We wouldn't be here on Friday morning Sil rushed me off the phone in a very abrupt manner . Now I'm left feeling bad and wondering should i change our arrangements so they can see DD or stick to us going over to visit them as prearranged .

YANBU. Its a shame about your BiL being ill, but really she IBU for being abrupt when you were (with good reason) unable to accommodate her last minute change of plans. She's probably really stressed out and not being herself, just keep the plans as they are and try not to dwell on it too much.

Thanks ViViprudolf .

Just feel terrible now .

I think if it was only your day shopping that would have to be rearranged then possibly, yes, you should have done so.

But imagine how disappointed your daughter would be to be told the vist to Santa is cancelled. Possibly you dad would be disappointed too.

So on balance, I think yes, you were right, and you shouldn't feel terrible.

yanbu

It is our only day for shopping together this week Parakeet , dh works shift work and has been getting home at 10pm all week but he starts work at 3pm on Friday so it gives us a few hours on Friday morning to get in DD's birthday cake, present etc for her birthday on new years eve. your right though dd & my dad would be very disappointed if i change their plans . We have already taken dd to see santa two weeks ago but she looking forward to going again with her little cousin and her granddad.
I'm just feeling bad because sil & bil had bad news yesterday .

You shouldn't have to change your plans.

Couldn't they come Friday evening?

The operation isn't until January, you will have plenty of time to be supportive before then. Sil probably only hurried you off the phone because she is upset at the moment, so little things will probably set her off.

Apparently sil is visiting their parents grave on Friday Morning which is only a 10 minute drive from our house so that's why she was going to pop in to see dd and give her her presents .

I'll just have to try make it up to them when we go visit them .

If this is not a full visit but a quick pop over to drop off gifts, couldn't you hold off your dad for a half hour or an hour at the most.

Could they not come to you afterwards and take dd to the park while you have a lazy afternoon