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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU XMas cards vs boxed ones?

35 replies

CoffeeDog · 21/12/2011 16:41

My mum has had a huge rant at me over xmas cards she has recieved from me DH and kids....

I sent

1 x mum & 1 x Dad card from me and DH.... just about acceptable.

1 x nana card & 1 x grandad card (3 kids).....

I should have sent 3 nana cards so 1 from each child. Same with grandad cards and uncle cards.My DB has SN and is 'home' for the holidays' and should have sent another 4 cards to my sis??????????????????????

So i sent 4 cards... according to my mother i should have sent 8 to them.

Oh and they have to be 'named' so have Nanny on the front - boxed cards are not acceptable even in card factory they are at least 85p each and i cant get away with a cheap one

IABU to say no more bloody expensive cards !!!!

OP posts:
ZillionChocolate · 21/12/2011 16:51

She's being unreasonable.

I often send cards jointly with my sister and we've lives separately for at least 5 years.

EricNordmanfirandMistletoe · 21/12/2011 16:53

YANBU! What a weirdo!

Original poster
CoffeeDog · 21/12/2011 16:55

i have already decided no more cards next year... I will get her a goat for a poor african family instead ;)

Someone will hopefully get a goat? and the look on my mothers face will be priceless

OP posts:
starfishmummy · 21/12/2011 17:00

Good grief. MIL usually has pointed displays of cards to "dear Nana" from her other grandkids, but she just gets one card from us!
Its the same on Mothers day, she has one card from us. THe other DIL gets her "Happy Mothers day Nana" ones too. RIdiculous!!

sozzledchops · 21/12/2011 17:01

Yes you are being unreasonable and incredibly stingy.

DorisIsMerryOnChristmasSprits · 21/12/2011 17:10

I would go for a goat from you and a (joint) home made card from any dc.

Is she this involved in the rest of the decsions you make in your life?

YANBU she is barking!

Trills · 21/12/2011 17:13

AIBU Xmas cards would be great. :o

YABU to have sent 4 separate cards from your family to two people who live in the same house.

She is BVVVU to think that you should have sent more than 4 cards.

diedandgonetodevon · 21/12/2011 17:15

One house = one card, thems the rules here.

Clayhead · 21/12/2011 17:17

I've never sent a card to my parents - YANBU!

pinkhebe · 21/12/2011 17:17

You'd have to go to more than one shop probably to find 4 different Nana cards. The children best make some for next year Xmas Grin or write 'to Nana' on the front of a boxed one Xmas Grin

Madness

yellowraincoat · 21/12/2011 17:17

Wow, CoffeeDog, that's weird of her. YADNBU.

I wish people wouldn't place so much importance on these things and just be grateful for what they do get. My mum always makes a fuss if I don't send a card on her birthday, even when I send a gift/flowers. Why does she also need a card?

It's silly, in my opinion.

pinkhebe · 21/12/2011 17:19

actually, my parents have one which says 'from the grandchildren' and that's only because I was feeling generous

mrsravelstein · 21/12/2011 17:23

i'm with the one household = one card rule, and honestly, i've never said this before, but really anyone who's capable of getting offended about receiving an inadequate xmas card really needs to get a life.

SnapesMistressofMerriment · 21/12/2011 17:29

YANBU, how strange.

I don't get cards at all and refuse to send them in general. In extreme cases I make birthday cards for big birthdays but that it is.

LittleJennyRobyn · 21/12/2011 17:30

So you are expected to send 16 cards for your family of 4, Thats just plain crazy.

I dont understand why you would send your mum and dad seperate cards though...surely you address 1 card "To Mum & Dad" ???

Then if you are feeling generous another "to Nannny and Grandad" (or however they are referred to).... Love from DC'S

My parents are lucky if they get one card from the lot of us (dont usually do christmas cards)

poppyknot · 21/12/2011 17:36

Don't send cards to my near family if I am going to see them round Christmas.

And as someone says 'It's rude to comment' (Aprt from on here of course....Smile )

sue52 · 21/12/2011 17:42

YANBU. I don't send cards to those members of my family whom I see over Christmas as I can wish them well in person. IMO cards are useful for catching up with those friends you don't keep in contact with regularly. No round robins though.

pranma · 21/12/2011 17:45

We got one tiny 2"x2" card from dd and family but I love it because dgs[5] wrote it himself.

lisaro · 21/12/2011 17:48

How ridiculous of her. Tell her she needs a hobby lol.

smokinaces · 21/12/2011 17:51

YANBU. The last 2 years close family and friends have got a card designed by one of the DSs and printed by the nursery/school. I dont do individual cards at all - no Grandma, Auntie, anything. They made cards for their Dad, and one for their Grandma/Grandad in addition to the standard ones we gave.

I did buy each of my own children a "Son" card though.

Next year get the kids to each make her a card. Afternoon activity and money saver all rolled into one.

breatheslowly · 21/12/2011 17:55

I have never purchased a "named" Christmas card and unless the DC happen to be making them it would only be a single, generic card for even our closest relatives and I don't think that they would expect anything else.

serin · 21/12/2011 18:04

She has shares in Clinton cards doesnt she!

Guitargirl · 21/12/2011 18:09

My mum has a thing about this as well. She displays family cards (i.e to a wonderful sister/son and daughter-in-law/auntie/etc) in the living room on the mantelpiece. Other generic cards get stuck on the doors, staircases and other random places. One year when I was working abroad, earning local money which exchanged to next to nothing in sterling, I struggled a bit to afford Christmas that year. I bought a box of cards and wrote one of those for my parents. My mum's face when she opened it was a picture (and not in a good way!). It got stuck on the door with all the cards from the neighbours. I was quite hurt - maybe that makes me as bonkers as she is! My dad - bless him - kept moving it back to the 'family card area' and my mum kept moving it back to the neighbours!

I learnt my lesson that year - since having DCs I have stopped buying family specific cards as I worked out it was costing me nearly 40 quid every Christmas. But I still get my parents one - just to keep my mother happy...

olibeansmummy · 21/12/2011 18:14

Yanbu what a ridiculous waste of money, paper and time!

1Catherine1 · 21/12/2011 18:18

lol, Seriously... your mum is nuts... She is BVU!

I'd tell her that next year she gets one signed of from the family...

This year is the first year I have entered into expensive named cards. This is only because I've gone cheap on the Christmas presents and ofc it is the thought that counts and thought went into me picking their Christmas card.

The only person I usually buy a Christmas card for is my OH and that is because Blush I usually write him a long message in it which is probably the only time I tell him I appreciate all that he does for me.

I think though... Moonpig do an option where you can get boxed ones which are named, they are slightly dearer than cheap boxed cards but slightly cheaper than the big expensive ones. Worth a thought for next year... [wonders if moonpig should start paying me commission]

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