to have asked multiple relatives for the same gift?

[TeWiharaMeriKirihimete]

Because, having just reeled off a few things we really need each time we were asked we ended up with 2 gifts the same. This particular gift was the most expensive thing we asked for (though not piss takingly so! you can get them at a range of prices) and I didn't really expect anyone to get us one let alone two.

2nd person to give us one was very very miffed, but I don't see how else I could respond to the "what do you want?" question without having to think of 50 odd unique items, most of which we probably don't really need and aren't that fussed about having.

I was suitably apologetic to 2nd person and made sure they were able to take it back and get a refund.

Dh and I don't really get gifts any more but if the dses get duplicate gifts they know to smile, thank profusely and we will sort it out later, either re-gifting it for a party pressie or selling on eBay if returning not an option.

I would never tell the giver that I have already got the gift. That would be quite rude IMO.

Therefore, yabu.

So someone got you an expensive gift that you had asked for, yet rather than just accepting graciously and returning or exchanging yourself you hand it back and say they got in too late.

Extremely rude.

Expect a shit in a box next year

I was posting, as you were replying :) What can you do? Give yourself a good spanking, blame it on being pregnant

Seriously I get the I was a twat part.

Any helpful suggestions to make it up to person 2?

@ I get the I was a twat part. Like your turn of Phrase, OP

Just a conversation is all - "I've realised I might have seemed rude, I'm really sorry, please accept this [bottle of wine/small box of chocs/bunch of flowers] as an apology because I feel pretty bad and wanted to make it up to you"

Yes, that's a good idea - some flowers might go down well.

On the plus side it has been confirmed that you can always rely on AIBU to tell you when you've been an arse!

I really feel for you TeWihara. We all make mistakes now and again.

I agree a little bunch of flowers or box of chocolates and a sincere note of apology is all that is needed. It was a genuine mistake and you are genuinely sorry.

Christmas is a difficult time of year and being heavily pregnant and with a wee one too does not make it any easier. Don't be hard on yourself. We are all human.

To solve the problem - I think you need to share a cuppa and apologise, explaining that you felt it was too generous a gift and you had inadvertently asked for it from two people due to your pregnancy brain. Be honest but above all be apologetic, the giver may have spent a long time or a lot of money sourcing the gift (eg going on price comparison websites, waiting in for order to be delivered) and this may be why she's peeved. If you can't meet up, a phone call or email might be of help.

Offer perhaps to buy a gift for your dd on her behalf? Saves her any further inconvenience.

And make sure your reciprocal gift is thoughtful.

TeWihara - just apologise to second person saying you didn't realise you had asked 2 people for the same gift and that you now realise it was rude of you to ask them to change it. Blame it on pregnancy brain if it helps. Once the air has been cleared you can both laugh about it and 2nd person will appreciate you have made the effort to apologise.

Can you not ask for gift vouchers instead, OP?

If asked for ideas from more than one person I send thesame list to ALL those who have asked, but Imake sure tht they know everyone has the same list. Then they can either let me know what they are getting, or let each other know. This is for people who do know one another already though.

If it was for people who are entirely different and not able to contact one another, or a gift for me so they couldn't say what they had got, I would send seperate ideas to each.

I'm going to agree with the majority you were extremely rude. A similar thing happened to me once, I was told what this particular relative would like via his wife I bought the gift along with another gift. His wife then phoned and asked if I could change it as it wasn't as good as he had thought. I was 9 months pregnant at the time, ill off work unable to go out as I had syatica and didn't drive. Oh and plus it was a very bad icey/snowy winter.
My dh told them were to get off and I have purposely never, ever again asked this person what they would like.
If I were your friend I would never put any effort into buying you a gift again. You need to appologise but accept that the damage might have been done.

My family doesn't do gift vouchers or cash (not sure why) so unfortunately not.

I'm going for the flowers and note idea - thanks for input everyone.

To be fair to your family I don't do gift vouchers and cash either. I prefer to give a proper gift.