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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to not want a relative to dress up as Santa for my kids?

14 replies

Santatobeornottobe · 20/12/2011 19:56

If you're going to someone else's house for Christmas, how much should they take your Christmas traditions into consideration? If they have no children and have not had Santa come to visit when there's only adults there, is it ok for them to insist on one of the men "going for a paper" and coming back dressed as Santa, because that's what they did as a child? Or can we, the only guests bringing a child, hold out that our tradition is that Santa comes at night and you never see him? Or AIBU?

OP posts:

KittyFane · 20/12/2011 19:58

Ahh, they are trying to be kind! I'd go with it!

squeakytoy · 20/12/2011 19:58

Depends on how old the kids are. Personally I think it sounds quite a thoughtful and nice touch that the kids will enjoy and make it into a special day for them.

troisgarcons · 20/12/2011 20:01

Dont you see Santa in the shopping centre? he's everywhere ....

Hulababy · 20/12/2011 20:01

Well I assume they are only pretending to be one of his helpers and not the real FC, so would think it a bit of fun.

How old is your child?

You say you never see him - but what about thos ein town etc?

dontletthebellsend · 20/12/2011 20:01

My uncle used to do this. We knew the real Santa came at night though.

stubborncow · 20/12/2011 20:01

I has this with my husband yesterday evening!
he said he had "booked someone" to come at 7pm on Christmas eve to be Santa.
I was horrified. He was busy getting ready to move country last Christmas but I did Santa for our little girl and it was as I had it as a child - we didn't get to see him, present in stockings (cough - pillowcases - cough) in teh morning. I hate the idea of someone coming to the house and pretending to be Santa (I presume it was a colleague or friend though he let on he founds someone on a gumtree like site! ) . I told him that I'd done all the organising for Christmas and I'd really not like that even if he had his uncle dress up as Santa when he was young, it really wasn't sucha big deal in his family (he wasn't even brought up Christian).

He saw my point of view, thankfully.
I don't think yabu in how you feel about it as I really felt strongly about ti when my husband mentioned it but if your host had his heart set on being Santa, maybe you could compromise on him dropping by and saying ho ho ho and going off on his way?

PumpkinBones · 20/12/2011 20:04

What is your objection, OP?

groovejet · 20/12/2011 20:13

Bil did this one year when dd1 was about 3.5, both me and DH were not overly keen on the idea but thought his heart was in the right place so went with the flow.

The problem was bil was clearly not the best actor and did not try to disguise his very noticeable thick accent. DD1 was a bit bemused and wasn't fooled.

We politely turned down his offer the next year.

When they say plan santa do they mean for the whole of the gift giving exchange or just a quick "hohoho here's a present I forgot?" If the latter go with it, even if it is a bit ott /cringeworthy a la my bil at least it it over with quickly.

zipzap · 20/12/2011 20:16

Tell them that your dc freaked when you took them to see Santa and so when someone pops out to get a paper, you'll pop out at the same time with the dc and the others can all enjoy santa and then you'll come back in/down and your dc will remain blissfully unfreaked.

Or prime your kids in advance that xxx is popping out and going to dress up as Santa and dress them up as Santa too or an elf or something so they know that it's not the real Santa who will deliver the real presents later.

Original poster

Santatobeornottobe · 20/12/2011 20:19

I just think it's a bit creepy. Can't explain why, since I don't think shopping mall Santas are creepy. Maybe I'm uncomfortable because there's more chance the kids will see through it. And I'm not sure of the quality of the Santa suit and the cover up... Mostly it's because I'm used to my family tradition -Santa comes at night and leaves the presents. He won't come if you're awake! I was planning on telling DC that the shopping mall santas are just people in costumes - the real santa's still at the north pole making presents. But if relatives then want to say "oh look, here's santa!" we're going to confuse them.

Could understand more if there were other kids there, and they were used to this tradition. But this is all for my DC, and relative in question says "it's my house, we do as I want".

OP posts:

GetDownNesbitt · 20/12/2011 21:37

I went to a party once and they were too late to hire a Santa costume. So a guy came in as Donald Duck and gave out all the pressies.

Now that was weird....

post · 20/12/2011 21:51

No, horrible, horrible, horrible. I would HATE that.

parakeet · 20/12/2011 21:57

They are weird. You could say "They're MY children, we do as I want."

If they try to insist, tell them you'll just spill the beans to your children.

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 20/12/2011 22:56

You could just say "oh well in that case we won't be coming after all, we don't want to send DC into meltdown and s/he was very scared by Santa in the shopping centre/at playgroup/wherever one might randomly see a Santa" or go with parakeet's idea and when whoever it is comes in, laugh and say "ooohh look DC, it's X in his Santa suit - doesn't he look funny"

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