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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

engagement ring for wedding ring also. is it ok?

18 replies

qwertysue · 19/12/2011 22:37

AIBU to want our engagement rings as our wedding rings also? the type we have decided to go with for our engagement rings are Titanium wedding/engagement bands. They are silver in colour with our own words engraved around like Lord of the rings style. But as im a chef and not supposed to wear rings whilst working, and not wanting a traditional stoned ring i thought that the ones we had found are absolutley beautiful, but as they are the same as wedding bands i know that i dont want an additional ring for our wedding as i dont want to wear a second band. would i be being unreasonable to want to get engaged with these bands then take them off for our wedding and use these to exchange on the big day?

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 19/12/2011 22:39

do whatever makes you happy! It's your wedding and your life, there are no hard rules, enjoy your rings for engagement and wedding, they sound lovely

pinkyredrose · 19/12/2011 22:42

ps.i know many couples who don't use an enagement band after they marry anyway, they just wear the wedding band, no prob!

scrappydoodah · 19/12/2011 22:44

Go for it. I didn't have a traditional engagement ring either. I'm happy, DH is happy, and frankly no one else cares!!
Congratulations on your engagement.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 19/12/2011 23:00

I think it's a great idea. I couldn't wear scratchy-stoned rings either, so my engagement ring was a silver band and my wedding ring is another band, that time in platinum. I don't bother wearing both because they look strange together, but it works very well and the nice thing about not shelling out for a pricey engagement ring is you can afford a wedding ring that's twice as nice - and since you're buying it to wear for the rest of your life, it wants to be good and heavy!

Congratulations btw. Smile

vic77en · 19/12/2011 23:32

We did this - short engagement, solitaire style engagement rings didn't suit me and I didn't like the look of 2 rings so we picked an eternity ring that became both engagement and wedding ring. Just took it off the morning of the wedding and dh gave it back to me in the ceremony.
No regrets here.

fannybanjo · 19/12/2011 23:35

I only ever had a wedding band as we didn't get engaged, I informed DH we just decided a few months before to get married. A few years ago though DH bought me an "engagement" ring but I'd have been perfectly happy with just my band.

NorkyPiesWithJingleBellsOn · 19/12/2011 23:40

I think this is the custom anyway in some countries (Greece?)

skittlesvodka · 19/12/2011 23:47

We did the same as vic77en only we both have the bands - we took them off in the morning (polished them!) and were wearing them again in the afternoon!

Crosshair · 19/12/2011 23:49

yanbu. :)

IneedAChristmasNickname · 19/12/2011 23:54

YANBU, and congratulations. As everyone else has said, it is up to you, there are no wrongs or rights. My Mum doesn't have an engagment ring, according to her, her and step-dad never got engaged Confused

HazleNutt · 20/12/2011 09:30

I did the same, I don't like traditional engagement rings and don't wear rings generally anyway, so have a wedding band with a diamond. Same as others here - took it off, got it polished, put it back.

Fuzzywuzzywozabear · 20/12/2011 09:41

I have diamonds in my wedding ring as I didn't have an engagement ring - it felt a bit strange "getting engaged" as my dh was divorced and we were already living together - after 10 years a I got an eternity ring which I wear next to my wedding ring because they look nice together - you can do whatever you want OP

eurochick · 20/12/2011 10:01

Yep, why not? It's your wedding. Do whatever you like!

TimothyClaypoleLover · 20/12/2011 11:22

I don't have an engagement ring. Never wanted one. Just have a wedding ring. I don't tend to wear a lot of jewellery and was happy with just the one ring.

Lizcat · 20/12/2011 11:27

As a vet I can only wear a plain band everyday. However, I wear my sparkles on high days and holidays.

TheScarlettPimpernel · 20/12/2011 11:27

Yo. When I was at college I knew a lot of Dutch folk through the church I went to. Traditionally, they had their wedding band as an engagement ring, but wore it on the 3rd finger of their right hand during engagement, and on the wedding day transferred it to their left hand.

I thought this was really beautiful and we were tempted to do the same - I was very young, and too conventional to go with my gut instinct. Still slightly wish I had, it's a lovely idea!

Original poster
qwertysue · 20/12/2011 11:32

Hey, thankyou all so much for replying. dp just thinks its a wierd idea of mine lol, but having read all of your positive comments i will let him see this thread and im sure he will see it as a nice idea too. this will be one hurdle dealt with, oh no, just the invitations and the "well you must invite... because its your brothers sisters uncles wifes cousin! am not looking forward to that !!! many thanks for your replies

OP posts:
nizlopi · 20/12/2011 13:53

I am also a chef and I didn't bother with an engagement ring. I had a lot of people asking me why, and my partner felt weird about me not having one, but I have a wedding ring and its lovely and perfect all on its own :) Do what makes you happy, the ring isn't the important part of the marriage anyway in the long run :P

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