speaking to the teacher

[dislikeschoolrun]

WIBU to have a word with DD's teacher after the holidays as DD says teacher does not like her?

DD in last year of primary. Never been in trouble, all previous teachers said she is very mature for her age. Gets on with her work, top sets, prefect (put forward for it by yr 5 teacher), always been told she is sensible.

Her yr 6 teacher is young and newly qualified. DD not happy in her class and says teacher does not like her. Example: moves DD to sit somewhere else when it was not her talking, if she has talked when the rest of the class is, teacher tells her to be quiet but not anyone else. Have other examples but all similar. Teacher does not tell off the children who regularly chat and mess around. Keeps the whole class back after school when someone has been talking, she does not directly tell off that child who is to blame.

She's really enjoyed primary school and always said she didnt want to leave but now in year 6 she doesnt want to go to school. She's always saying the teacher has favourites, the teacher lets certain children get away with messing about and does not tell them off.

I was talking to another parent and mentioned DD was not happy with the teacher. The parent told me that her DS told her that the teacher had shouted at my DD a few times when someone else was to blame.

I told DD to politely speak to the teacher and explain that when these things happen that it was not her. She tried but teacher shouted at her not to question her.

Dont know whether we should just try and ignore. How do I approach this with the teacher if it carries on?

I wouldn't ignore it, it sounds horrible and very undermining.
I have met a few ineffectual teachers who do this - 'control' mostly well-behaved children, while others riot.
Is there a parallel class that your DD could change to? Because this teacher is not going to like her any better after your complaint.

I would document anything you can, such as other children saying the teacher is unfair to your DD, and meet the teacher in the first instance, but be prepared for a flat denial.
I expect you will have to take it higher.

And shouting at a child trying to explain/defend herself is bullying.

Hi Buntypenfold, there are two other yr6 classes. I think it would be worth asking for her to be moved though not sure what DD would think about it as she's been with the same children since year 1.

Will have a talk with DD about it before they go back to school.
Thanks.

I couldn't ignore this. I would make an appointment with the HT and talk it through. You have every reason to.
Dd deserves for you to do all you can to support her. Good luck with it.

Oh I know, they get so fond of their own class don't they.
I wonder if other people have issues with the teacher.

Your poor DD.

I would talk to the head teacher. He or she already knows your child over the past few years and this new teacher doesn't.

If you go in, and just say you quite understand how hard it is to settle into a new class etc, etc and say you're sure it's just a misunderstanding, she/he will probably have a quiet word and let them know they're picking on the wrong child.

Then, if that doesn't work, you go in and complain to the head.

It's always worth just having a wee chat first.

I'd definitely address it, my DD1 (also Yr6, also high achiever, never in trouble) had a new maths teacher at the start of term - also a NQT as it happens, I hope this is coincidence. The exact same thing happened - DD was blamed for disruptive behaviour by others, teacher put negative comments on her mid-term statement.

I might have believed the teacher, were it not for the fact that not one of her other teachers mentioned that she was chatting and disrupting lessons, and the fact that none of her teachers the year before had ever said this.

Fortunately the school decided to change systems after half term, going back to setting by ability for maths. DD now has a new teacher, a very experienced one who knows how to keep order, and surprise surprise - she has gone back to being top merit earner for her whole year group and no-one has a bad word to say about her.

It is very easy to not tackle the intimidating disruptive pupils and pick a scapegoat instead.

Yes, I would speak to her.

If your daughter is right then the teacher needs to change the way she is dealing with the class. If she is new and inexperienced than she probably just needs to become more used to dealing with different children and might need some help in the kindest way to do that.

A parent once came to me and asked to discuss her daughter and how we could help her in class because the child had come home and said that she didn't like me! I thought that was pretty brave of the parent (I'd be too embarassed to tell another adult that my child disliked them) but it was great that she did because we talked it over and found it was all based on one event that was tiny in my mind (something about an undone homework I think - the girl had had a reason for not doing it but I'd forgotten or something) but huge in the little girl's mind. We sorted it out and got on very well for the rest of the year.

Do you know if the HT is approachable?
I would go to them first for fear of my making is worse/saying the wrong thing, if I went directly to the teacher herself.
If she is newly qualified it might not be unexpected that the HT might sit in. Obviously she would be on best behaviour but the HT might get a chance to talk to the other children. Oh I dunno how they would do it, but it is their job to make sure newly qualified teachers are handling things well, surely?
Very upsetting for you, and DD, though

Not sure if anyone else has issues. I dont go into playground so dont really see anyone. When I recently dropped DD at a party a couple of the parents said their children didnt like the teacher. DD's best friend likes teacher but her friend aknowledges that she is one of the teacher's favourites.

DD also not happy that they miss PE a lot because teacher says its too cold. The other year 6 classes still do it. My youngest child in reception at same school does outside PE unless it's raining! The parents I saw at the party were not happy at the PE issue but I got the impression that didnt want to take it up with the teacher.

I would speak to the teacher about it, but keep an open mind because I've known so many kids (and parents) over the years who have found the strictness of year 6 teachers quite a shock.

Perhaps it's that your DD is having trouble with...and she's taken it as the teacher doesn't like her?

Either way, it needs addressing.

I too have had this. When I complained, I was asked to put it in writing. This way they can compile evidence and remove the teacher concerned. She's gone now, Hurrah!
(I'm an ex teacher).