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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re Boyfriend watching football match boxing day + nye

17 replies

ConnorCamden · 19/12/2011 20:57

To not want my boyfriend to watch the football boxing day and new years eve

My boyfriend works down at the football ground whenever there is a home game. He has to be there 2 hours before kick off and then half an hour after and it takes an hour to get there. He can then stay and watch the match without paying tickets. 75% of the time he stays to watch the match which I am more than happy about.

I don't live with my boyfriend, we live an hour apart. I am going to his boxing day and new years eve. There is a match at 5:30 Boxing Day, so from 2:30pm onwards he will be out. Same with new years eve, but kick off is at 3pm so from 12pm onwards. I've asked him if he is planning on watching the match. I presumed he wouldn't with me being there, but he said yes, he will be. AIBU to be upset with him? I do not begrudge him staying and watching when I am not with him, but i'm not happy that he is staying when I'm there. From 2:30pm until at least 8pm boxing day he will be out. I'll be with his mum and brothers.

OP posts:
LydiaWickham · 19/12/2011 21:02

I was about to say YABU - till I realised you're going to visit him on Boxing day, then he's leaving at 2:30pm, what time will you be arriving? how long will you actually have together before he leaves?

Don't go over on Boxing day, do your own thing, see him the day after. NYE - will you be going out in the evening together? Why go to his Mums earlier in the day? Just go just before he would come back.

GypsyMoth · 19/12/2011 21:05

It's work.... Assume he needs the wage? Surely he stays because he had to work for 'half an hour after'?

Original poster
ConnorCamden · 19/12/2011 21:23

He is coming to me christmas day at 4pm, staying over, then im going back to his house with him.

I am happy him working. It's the fact he could be home at 7pm not 8pm. Ok when I put it like that, i sound selfish don't I :(

OP posts:
slavetofilofax · 19/12/2011 21:23

I was going to say YABU as well, and I probably still would be if you didn't have to stay with his family without him. I generally think that people should be given plenty of time to continue with hobbies even when they get married and have dc.

But the situation as you describe it would piss me right off. I would tell him that I wasn't prepared to go and see him if I wasn't actually going to be able to see him. Can't you just go over on boxing day night, and get him to come to you after the match on NYE?

GypsyMoth · 19/12/2011 21:24

Hey just a thought, could you go with him?? I would, I love footy

WorraLiberty · 19/12/2011 21:25

Blimey, it's only an hour's difference.

dearprudence · 19/12/2011 21:28

It's OK for him to watch the football, but it's also OK for you not to spend time with his family without him.

Go and see him when he's free.

Sirzy · 19/12/2011 21:28

YABU. He is there working anyway, he is obviously going to take the free ticket and enjoy the match!!

LydiaWickham · 20/12/2011 07:58

Well then, don't go back with him on Boxing day. If it's an hours drive from yours, he could stay at yours on Boxing day until 1pm ish, then go straight to work.

It is unreasonable of him to make plans to see you at his parents house on a day he's working, esp as the following day is also a bank holiday and he could easily see you then.

Stay at home, watch Christmas tv while eating lots of Christmas chocolate wearing your jammies. Have a 'date day' with him on the Tuesday when you can spend the whole day together.

magicrat · 20/12/2011 08:20

YABU. Boxing day footy is the best thing about Xmas and wild horses wouldn't keep me away

iscream · 20/12/2011 08:27

I would either leave his place when he leaves for the game, and go back home, or else go visit someone, or not go over to his place at all. New Years I would wait for him to finish with the game and come pick me up, or meet up somewhere, depending on what your plans for the evening are.

Rudolfsgottarednose · 20/12/2011 08:32

YABU-you are both entitled to spend boxing day how you choose to, until you have DC.

It is a straight choice of whether or not you want to spend all day with his family. For the difference of an hour, he might as well watch the football, if he is a fan and doesn't just work at the ground, that is.

Boxing day football is part of the Christamas tradition, for some people (women included).

Amateurish · 20/12/2011 08:38

YABU - he's there anyway, he's working and he gets a free ticket? He'd be mad not to stay. Your complaining that he'll be there for an extra hour? Is this a wind-up?

PurplePidjInAPearTree · 20/12/2011 08:51

YABU. He's working. He's taking part in a hobby he's loved since long before he met you. Sounds like his ideal, dream job (would be for my DP, also a footie nut)

samandi · 20/12/2011 11:09

YANBU to want to spend time with him or to be annoyed that he presumes (?) you would be happy spending time with just his mother and brothers. If I were you I wouldn't bother going over Boxing Day, or I'd come back at lunchtime.

Xales · 20/12/2011 11:23

He is working!

It takes him an hour to get there. I am assuming that is is a 2 hour round trip to get there and back.

If he left and came back to you he would have to leave before he arrived to get back!

Some people have no choice, they have to work these days. He is doing the logical option and also it is something he enjoys. Absolutely crazy to expect him to come back and spend time with you.

You are being unreasonable about him having to work.

If you don't want to spend the day with his parents, go shopping in the sales and have tea out or something!

AmberLeaf · 20/12/2011 11:25

YABU Cant you go too?

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