Would it really hurt him to stop playing on the f*ing computer and give me a hand???

[Oakmaiden]

So, I am struggling to move a big box of stuff and am banging my elbows into doorframes and saying "Ow" and similar things.

And my husband takes off his computer headphones and says "Are you OK?"

So I say "Not really".

And he puts his headphones back on and turns back to his game.

So then I say "You know, in some other households that would have been a cue for the man to leap out of his seat to help the weaker and vulnerable female in her task. I am so glad we don't have any of that macho crap in this house."

And he said "You're not weak and vulnerable."

I should ditch him, shouldn't I?

(ps this did happen, and yes my response could be interpreted as passive aggressive, but actually was teasing. But then I thought afterwards, actually he should have bloody come and helped me and not left me to struggle on my own. But I am not going to leave him over it. So why am I posting? Just sharing my grump, really.)

Sounds like you made a bit of a meal of it tbh!

Yeah, that has happened on occasion...

In my defence I had to move about 8 heavy boxes of clothes from the lounge (where I had been sorting and folding them) into the utility room where they are out of the way until I get around to taking them to a charity shop or ebaying them. And then I had to carry another big box of gifts from the utility room into the lounge so I could spend all evening wrapping them. Whilst he played computer games.

And they were quite big boxes, so I bumped my elbow and scrapped my knuckles several times.

Sometimes I wish he would just be a bit more aware of what is going on around him and a bit more inclined to help out without being asked specifically...

Whilst I am at it, SAanta, I would like a pony and ...

It's not really a male/female thing, though, is it? It's about one person helping another who is struggling, regardless of weakness, sex or vulnerability.

Ex H used to do that a lot - he'd sit and watch me while I struggled with something, then tell me what a good job I was doing and nip outside for a fag. He even watched me lift huge boxes of heavy stuff when we moved house when I was 37 weeks pregnant with Ds2. OK so I am pretty unstoppable when I set my mind to something, but I think he could have intervened and helped out over that one.

Perhaps next time leave the box 2ft behind his chair so he'll trip over it when he gets up.

I'm a great believer in just lobbing something at my dh when he's like that (which is frequently) not so the dc's see though

Leave box where it is and pour yourself a glass of
my DH does this YANBU.

i slipped down the stairs a while back while DP was playing some zombie killing game. He heard me come down and scream, then i laid in a heap on the floor unable to move.

He never even called out 'are you okay'? i had to keep calling his name and saying help. (wasn't really hurt - just crumpled, stunned and bruised).

Eventually he came out to see if i was okay. I have come to the conclusion if ever an emergency happens i'm better off shouting 'ZOMBIES' rather then help!

The other day the oven caught fire and DP was upstairs and i screamed, smoke billowed thru the house, i heard him come halfway down the stairs, then turn back and go back up then come back down again. When he walked i was putting out flames and he was holding his beer - he had gone back upstairs to get it!!

Spuddy, I would have lain at the bottom of the stairs as though dead, to teach him a lesson. How dare he ignore you when you're hurt?

he says i'm always making some kind of noise or something (which is true) but i have pointed out that is different than hearing the sound of a scream and thudding down the stairs.

We recently went on a mountain biking hol and he never waits for me even tho i am a novice - so i come splatting off the bike, break bones, cuts bruises etc. He never looked back for ages and by the time he did he could see the ambulance and all the traffic stopped in the distance.

He then had to peddle up hill as quick as he could in a mad panic then sit in the waiting room of a foreign hospital for 5 hours! serves him right!!

Imperial !! I bet my DH wouldn't notice. Playing dead would be far too quiet! Noise gets him moving if only to shut me up

Spiffy :( ! :(

Not spiffy! spuddy

ah yes - i know i have only me to rely on when push comes to shove. I'm okay with it really - it does make me laugh.

We are ttc and i dread to think what he'd be like - i reckon he's actually gonna go the other way.

oh i dunno... yes it would have been nice of him to offer, I would expect someone to offer to help me just as I would offer to help someone else.
but then, you could have asked too, couldn't youj?

Sounds like some of you should trade your husbands in for grown ups!

i am being quite tongue in cheek here! he is from a military background and just used to people picking themselves up and dusting off. The bike thing really scared him and now he has changed - a lot. like i said i think he'll go the other way. And i am very self sufficient, not keen on help when i haven't asked for it.

I wouldn't struggle OP, i'd just ask outright in future.