To have spoken to this dad about his dd' behaviour?

[Bluebell99]

I was doing some last minute christmas shopping today and when we finished we went to have a coffee in Starbucks. I was just sitting down with my two children while my dh was getting the drinks, and at the next table was a girl of about 9 and a boy of about 6 and two toddlers in a double buggy who were screaming. The toddler had kicked his shoes off and the nine year old girl was yelling at him, and then she picked up the boot and hit him repeatedly over the head with the boot! I was horrified as were the other customers and I caught the girl's eye and glared at her. When her dad came over, I told him his dd had hit the toddler over the head with the boot, and he just looked really stressed but he didn't say anything to the kids.

Of course YANBU

I would have leapt up and grabbed the boot out of her bloody hand!

I am more shocked that you watched it and didnt intervene :(

Of course you werent unreasonable. I am shocked nobody at least shouted the dad over straight away if you didn't want to intervene enough to take the shoe off her

I am more shocked that her dad did nothing about it! She stopped when I glared at her so I consider I did intervene. We had only just sat down and she was there already as were a couple of teenagers and a young woman. When I said something to the dad, the young woman commented to me that she felt that it was unfair that the child had been left in charge of two screaming toddlers. I don't know what had been going on before I sat down.

The way the coffee shop is set up we were in a back area and they is a long corridor to get to the counter. I wouldn't of know who they were with until he came back. He looked really at the end of his tether and I felt like he was about to boil over himself, I actually felt my adrenalin going just speaking to him to be honest.

Then in that case I'm angry that all these people seemed to be watching this unfold without grabbing the boot or shouting at the girl to stop.

I don't consider 'glaring' an intervention even though it apparently worked...it may well not have done and the toddler could have received more blows to the head.

As for the Dad, it sounds as though he didn't actually believe it.

I do feel sorry for kids who are dragged into Starbucks by parents wanting a coffee. Imo cafes are far more child friendly and at least the waiting staff come to the table to take your order...an absolute must if you have poorly behaved or very young children.

Normally a parent should be able to leave a child of that age alone for a few minutes with their younger siblings, but clearly not in this case.

If the dad was away getting the drinks, he probably didnt see what had happened to have been able to intervene.

Actually thinking about it now, I couldn't have stopped the girl hitting the toddler. She was to the side of me and I was was talking to my kids, aware these babies were crying but I couldn't have physically grabbed the boot as it was unexpected. But once I saw what she had done I glared at her until her dad came back, and then told him. She was well aware I was watching her then. I think her dad was just completely stressed out to be honest.

Is Starbucks not a coffee chain cafe?
Wouldn't be my choice to take children, hardly the easiest place to keep them entertained, but people do take them there.

you did intervene - you just did it without using words.

Thank you skybluepearl. I was talking to my son about it at breakfast and he said that when I was telling the dad, the girl obviously heard and was looking worried/scared. i guess it is only a snapshot of their family life and who knows what goes on behind closed doors. We moved away from where they were sitting after that as a table became free at the front of the cafe.

It would have been very difficult for you to take something off a stranger's child(unless it was something like a knife) so I think you did exactly what needed doing. Then you informed the parent,which isn't always easy.

OP, you acted fine. Poor stressed Dad and kids.