I live a couple of hours away from my relatives and probably visit my home town 3 or 4 times a year my family never visit me. Db never visited after the birth, he texted me a couple of times to check when we were free but never finalised any plans. I haven't been back that many times since having ds2, on the few occasions that I have been back I haven't been able to visit db because he has either been away or working. When it was ds's first birthday db said he would try and get over to visit us as he hadn't met his nephew but again he didn't finalise any plans.
I have quite a large extended family, usually my mums house is used as the drop off and collection point for exchange of Christmas presents. This year I thought we would play Santa instead and drop the presents off individually. Texted my brother and asked him if he was around and suggested a time, he couldn't make that time and suggested an alternative so I changed the planned order of drop-off so we could get to see him. 10 minutes before we are due to be at his house he texts to make sure we are not delayed. We arrive at this house at the agreed time, we are greeted by sil, db not there as he decided to go to their stables.
It is up to him how he spends his time but it is a little rude when we have driven 100 miles with 2 small boys, gone out of our way to visit his house and he hasn't even met ds2.
Perhaps I expect too much.