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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I probably am being U but am upset

29 replies

Bethshine82 · 17/12/2011 14:46

I know already people will say this was my fault but I'm upset.

Took DS aged 2.5 to corner shop today. As we walled up there was a dog tied up to the fence waiting for its owner. My DS likes dogs and this one stood up and wagged its tail.
I told DS just to wave at it as obviously I don't encourage him to pet strange dogs but he put his hand out to stroke it. As he did so it growled, jumped up and bit him on the hand. It has broken the skin in two places.
I was so upset I just took DS home. But now I wonder if I should have waited to see who the dog belonged to. I'm sure everyone will say it was my fault but I kind of think if your dog is that vicious it should have a muzzle. DS hadn't even touched it.

What should I have done? Not that it matters now, but been mulling it over since and although I feel it was partly my fault for not just dragging DS away before he could go near the dog another part of me thinks this dog could be a risk.

It was some sort of long haired terrier type dog. Not a big dog at all.

OP posts:

amerryscot · 17/12/2011 14:49

I don't know what to do wrt the dog, but just be vigilant with the wound. It may need antibiotics quickly.

RosemaryandThyme · 17/12/2011 14:49

Might be worth phoning NHS direct first just to check if your child needs a TB shot, given the broken skin (red health medical book would have details too).

You did the best thing just to head home.

Your child was probably upset and a confrontation with the dog owner would just have upset you and child further.

pingu2209 · 17/12/2011 14:50

It is partly your fault, but only a small part. I don't believe any animal should be allowed on the streets if it is likely to bite. The dog should have been muzzled or just not let out.

mrsjay · 17/12/2011 15:01

your poor son i would have it checked out , I wouldve waited for the dog owner and tell them maybe they need to know that the dog is snappy although it mightve caused an argument if tensions were high , and next time keep a hold of your son and dont let him near dogs he doesnt know , I hope hes ok

bruffin · 17/12/2011 15:02

Definitely take him to a&e if the skin is broken

tabulahrasa · 17/12/2011 15:06

Obviously your DS put his hand towards the dog, but that's not a reason for a friendly dog to bite - its still the owner's fault, no responsible person leaves a dog that's likely to bite unattended in a public place

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 17/12/2011 15:08

RosemaryandThyme - I think you mean a tetanus shot, not a TB shot - you can't get tuberculosis from a dog bite as far as I am aware.

DaisySteiner · 17/12/2011 15:08

It's not your fault at all, please don't feel guilty. I hope your ds is OK. If he's up to date with his vaccinations and it looks OK I would just see how he goes over the next few days and take him to the doctor if it doesn't seem to be healing. Poor you and poor him, what a horrible shock. Have a nice tonight and be kind to yourself.

AnyoneforTurps · 17/12/2011 15:09

As long as your son has had his normal childhood immunisations, he doesn't need any jabs because of the bite. If he hasn't been immunised against tetanus, it is important that you take him to A&E.

Dog bites aren't given antibiotics unless they are deep & penetrating or if they go on to develop signs of infection. Just clean the wound and keep an eye on it. If it starts to look infected (getting hot, red, or having a discharge), take him to A&E.

As for the original question, dogs are more likely to react aggressively if they are tied up so feel defensive.

PeneloPeePitstop · 17/12/2011 15:10

He needs medical attention as it is a puncture wound and very at risk of infection.

Whilst the dog owner should have muzzled the dog if it is in any way likely to behave this way I think your DS may now be a bit more wary and listen when you tell him not to touch strange dogs!

bagelmonkey · 17/12/2011 15:11

Your son needs to have his hand thoroughly washed. Take him to A&E unless it really is only a very superficial graze. He may need antibiotics if there's a puncture type wound.

amerryscot · 17/12/2011 15:11

My whole arm swelled up with a dog bite, and I was an adult. I was quite ill with it for several weeks. I would not take the child to the doctor/A&E without symptoms, but if any swelling does happen, then deal with it straightaway.

Sirzy · 17/12/2011 15:11

The owner may not have known the dog was likely to react that way though. As you (understandably) left you will never know.

I think when the owner isnt around it is much safer to keep children well away from strange dogs just to be on the safe side!

Hope he is ok, I would take him to a and e just to be on the safe side

bruffin · 17/12/2011 15:14

I would still take him to A&E to have it looked at. I have known the two people with dog bites in the last few months, they do need to be looked at quickly.

AnyoneforTurps · 17/12/2011 15:35

I'm a GP and I worked in A&E for 8 years. As long as the teeth have just broken the skin (rather than penetrate deeper) and your son is fully immunised for his age, you don't need to go to A&E but do keep a good eye out for infection which typically happens around the 48h mark though it can be sooner or later than that.

Original poster

Bethshine82 · 17/12/2011 15:40

Thank you anyone and every one else for advice.
It just happened so quickly! I will keep an eye on the wound and I have washed it and treated it with antiseptic. DS is up to date with all immunisations so hopefully he will be ok.

OP posts:

VivaLeBeaver · 17/12/2011 15:47

It could be that the dog hasn't bitten before. Dog may well have felt scare, being tied up and strange people coming up to it and acted defensively and out of character. It could be that when the owner is there to reassure the dog or dog not tied up that it's very friendly and happy to be stroked.

I do think you're been a bit U as you shouldn't approach dogs you don't know without their owners saying it's ok. Hope your son is ok.

PlumpDogPillionaire · 17/12/2011 15:58

I think you've been quite sensible just to take DS home and make sure he's OK.

Sure, you could have addressed the owner about this, and (s)he would then be obliged to treat the dog as potentially dangerous, which would be unfair on the dog, considering that it was restrained, some kid approached waving arms around, and it seems like it was more of a nip than a bite. So it doesn't mean that the dog is 'vicious', and it would be silly to treat it as such.

The dog was not 'out of control' or 'dangerous'. If you'd made an issue of it as if it had been, then it would perpetuate this crazy approach that dogs are like toys, rather than sentient creatures.

It's best not to encourage DCs to wave at dogs, actually, because you don't know what this means to the dog. It could mean anything from an invitation to play, to a possible beating.

So you're probably best to treat it as a lesson learned, even though in a harsh way.

perceptionreality · 17/12/2011 16:02

I don't see how this is your fault - why would you assume that every dog was going to bite?

The dog should be reported imo - it is obviously unpredictable and the owner is not ensuring it poses no threat.

PlumpDogPillionaire · 17/12/2011 16:05

perception - there's no reason to assume that every dog will be aggressive. Similarly, there's no reason to assume every dog will be friendly.

Therefore it's best not to approach any dog you don't know without the go ahead from the owner, and even then only approach in a calm way.

Original poster

Bethshine82 · 17/12/2011 16:27

Yes I know the moral of the story is to keep away from all dogs unless you've checked with your owner.
I know this dog may have not bitten before or may have been mistreated in the past. DS is actually very gentle with animals and he wasn't shouting or actually waving his arms, he literally just put a hand out. But yes, I know you just don't know how a dog will behave, it seemed friendly but you just can't tell.
DS seems ok, I hope it won't have scared him too much just enough that he is aware that not all dogs want to be his friend. It was awful at the time, I felt terrible.
I suppose I was more thinking that if it was that unpredictable then maybe it should wear a muzzle as kids are also unpredictable and a small child could easily try and stroke it on another occasion. If it were my dog and I was aware of it being a bit unpredictable I would muzzle it as a would feel awful if it bit someone badly. I'm not suggesting it should be put down or anything.
Still maybe the owner was not aware.

OP posts:

Original poster

Bethshine82 · 17/12/2011 16:27

With their owner, not your owner!

OP posts:

OldeChestnut · 17/12/2011 16:43

I don't believe any animal should be allowed on the streets if it is likely to bite.

so thats all of them then, because thats what animals are likely to do

PlumpDogPillionaire · 17/12/2011 17:06

I don't think you did anything particularly 'wrong', Bethshine. You sound very reasonable.
But I do think people sometimes have quite naive expectations about how far dogs should be 'predictable'. Of course, if an owner knows their dog is aggressive then they should deal with it responsibly.
But as Chestnut says, no animal is entirely 'predictable'. Only inanimate objects can be 100% predictable.
Also, whereas dogs that haven't been mistreated are generally not fearful of adults who treat them well, the same can't be always be said about dogs and children. Dogs aren't actually 'programmed' to 'like' children, but for some reason this gets overlooked or isn't widely known. It's quite common for dogs to be well trained, as predictable as can reasonably be expected around adults, but unused to and quite fearful of children. It's not known why this is, but it's probably because children smell and move differently to adults, different pitch to voices, etc.
There's a common presumption that any dog that isn't muzzled/obviously unfriendly will just accept children, but unless the dog is actually used to them, this might not be the case. This doesn't mean that they're likely to attack children, just that they may not welcome their advances, IYSWIM.
Also, dogs are more likely to be defensive if they're restrained, so one that's tied up can be much less friendly than if it was off lead.

My dog is as reliable as any, and very good with children, but I still feel a bit anxious when she's tied outside shops, partly because she's so remarkably cute looking that she's often approached by children - sometimes sensibly, sometimes less so. I worry about the remote possiblity that she'd feel cornered and vulnerable and nip someone if she felt cornered - even though she's never done anything of the sort - as she'd then necessarily become an 'unsafe' dog.

LineRunnerCrouchingReindeer · 17/12/2011 17:12

Just to say sorry this happened and would agree with a phone call to NHS Direct.

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