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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be spitting teeth about missing this arsing train?

53 replies

TandB · 16/12/2011 23:15

Disclaimer: I love my colleagues. They are normally efficient, sensible, considerate specimens of humanity. But not tonight!

I technically started maternity leave today but came back up to London (work part of the week) for a work-related function. This was a closing party for a court I have spent a lot of time at over the years. I probably won't be back from maternity leave in the same capacity due to childcare costs so there are a lot of people connected with this court that I will probably never see again and I wanted to say goodbye. I was originally the only one from my office who was planning on going to this party - the others don't go to this court regularly and don't know the people I wanted to see. However, when I said I was going everyone came up with the bright idea that we should all go, go out for dinner before hand and do a joint my-last-day/Christmas dinner/trip to the party.

This seemed like a good idea but I did point out all along that I had to get a latish train back home so would not be able to stay late at the party - everyone agreed we would have an early and quick dinner and get to the party early.

For some reason everyone kept faffing about before leaving the office. Nothing work-related, just general faff - looking at something on the internet, last minute discussions about things, lengthy debate about whether the restaurant we were going to was actually the best place to go. We got to the restaurant about half an hour later than planned. Quick dinner then turned into two and a half hour lingering session with people obviously not particularly keen to get on to the party. I said I would go on ahead and they could all stay and have drinks or follow me later. No, no no, we are coming now. It took another half hour to get out of the restaurant. We got to the party an hour and a half late, giving me precisely half an hour to run around like a lunatic and try to see everyone I wanted to see.

I then said I needed to head off - everyone else then decided they would leave with me instead of staying. Fair enough. Except they didn't leave. I got my stuff ready and went back and said I was going. No, no no, we are coming now. And then they didn't. I made another couple of attempts to get out on my own. No, no, no, wait for us. More chatting to people. I eventually headed out of the door with them in hot pursuit. I said I would get a cab. No, no, we will drop you at the station. By this time I was practically screaming 'I need to just go!' I eventually got dropped at the nearest station, at which point one of my colleagues couldn't decide whether or not to come with me on the tube. I was hal-way down the escalators before she had even finished that conversation so I have no idea whether or not she got on the tube or not.

I missed my train. The next one is 11.30pm so I won't get home till about 2 in the morning. I have a massive baby's head sitting on my bladder and it costs 30p a time to wee in the station. Everyone forgot to pay me for their tickets. I had to buy a new train ticket. I am about £60 out of pocket and sitting in the middle of sodding Paddington station waiting for the last train in the world which will probably spontaneously combust before reaching Paddington, given the way the rest of my evening is going.

AIBU to be muttering rude things about said colleagues? I know I should have just said 'look, I'm going' at every stage of the evening and let them follow or not, but it is a bit difficult when everyone is, on the face of it, fitting into your pre-made plans and accommodating you. And it is very difficult to say 'no, I'm off' when people are insisting they are coming right now, all evidence to the contrary!

I was looking forward to tonight and I had all my own travel arrangements meticulously planned to give me maximum possible time and not get home ridiculously late. It was a nice idea to combine my plans with the office dinner but I now wish I had just been left to get on with my own thing. I would be nearly home by now.

Sorry for long whinge!

OP posts:
TandB · 16/12/2011 23:16

Ooh. Typing that took longer than I thought. Only 15 minutes till train now!

OP posts:
TheRuderBarracuda · 16/12/2011 23:18

Is the Krispy Kreme shop still open? Can you drown your sorrows in a giant saturated fat and sugary jam fest?

Tryharder · 16/12/2011 23:19

YANBU. How far is your journey? Can't your DH pick you up or treat yourself to a taxi.

Console yourself that you are now on matL and can enjoy a bit of me-time before your baby is born and that you have your baby's birth to look forward to. Keep warm and safe - it's cold out there!!

TheRuderBarracuda · 16/12/2011 23:20

Have you posted a suitably guilt inducing status on FB so they know a heavily pregnant panda is now stranded in west London?

(almost down to 10 mins now - not much time left to get to the Krispy Kreme stall)

lilian1977 · 16/12/2011 23:20

Definitely not BU. I would have punched them in the face and ran.

No, I wouldn't. But I would definitely have been very cross too. One of my late trains home was cancelled last December when I was 8 months pregnant and had left a show early to get it. I nearly cried on the platform.

Hope you get home safely and baby comes safely too! x

Tryharder · 16/12/2011 23:20

Only 15 minutes to go... You'll be home soon!

StealthPolarBear · 16/12/2011 23:24

YANBU that would drive me mad.

TandB · 16/12/2011 23:28

On train. Came perilously close to not getting a seat. Almost every seat reserved. Got one of only free ones. I would actually have lain in the aisle and wailed.

Tryharder - going to Somerset so probably can't persuade DP to come pick me up!

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TandB · 16/12/2011 23:29

And didn't see Krispy Kreme sho!

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kdiddy · 16/12/2011 23:32

YANBU. This nearly happened to me the other day; made my train with 2 mins to spare after a Christmas do with MUCH bill faffing. And only then because I managed to move into 2nd gear and waddle down the road at a slightly faster rate than usual. I think it took me about 20 mins to get my breath back but at least I got offered a seat pretty sharpish!

Thank goodness for smartphones in these circumstances, at least you can MN your boredom away. Rubbish about the money though - do you know anyone well enough to point that out or do you think they'll notice?

thepeoplesprincess · 16/12/2011 23:34

I assume they were all drinking. Fuck the J20 ads- there's nothing funny about being the sober one.

TandB · 16/12/2011 23:37

I now need to stay awake in order to avoid a 4am MN thread along the lines of 'AIBU to be annoyed that I seem to be in Wales'.

Kdiddy - they would al be mortified if they realised they had forgotten to pay but I don't really think I can ask for £10 a head for 30 mins at a party that only I wanted to go to in the first place!

But on the money front, the toilet attendant gave me a free toilet trip after my two paid ones. Sort of BOGOF weeing.....

OP posts:
TandB · 16/12/2011 23:38

Two drinking. Two not. one of the sober ones was the worst faffer.

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squeakytoy · 16/12/2011 23:40

I think in hindsight, staying at a hotel and travelling back home in the morning would have been the better choice, but at least you are on the train now.

StealthPolarBear · 16/12/2011 23:41

pregnant ladies wee wee special

TandB · 16/12/2011 23:49

I could actually have stayed at the flat I stay at when working but I thought it would be easier just to get home rather than traipsing across London tonight and then again in the morning.

[hollow laugh]

Anyway, how come so many people are up? Are you all riding around on trains?

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Trills · 16/12/2011 23:50

Not even read yet but wanted to extend sympathy and say "oh fucking buggery bollocks".

Trills · 16/12/2011 23:54

So you are on the train now? And it has a loo? Once which is free to use? That's a bonus.

I hate faffers. I have decided that I will no longer wait for people at the office who want to come with me and catch the bus to the train station. If they want to get the bus after mine and run through the station that is up to them. I am no good at running (esp while carrying laptop etc) so I just make sure I leave in plenty of time.

Trills · 16/12/2011 23:54

Don't blame you at all for not wanting to stay out all night - it's annoying waking up somewhere that you don't want to be when all you want to do is stumble downstairs and sit on the sofa and demand coffee.

TandB · 16/12/2011 23:59

I am on the train. Sitting opposite very nice, but very long-legged man so can't fit legs under table. One foot is protruding into aisle and drunk bloke just stamped on it on his way to the loo. When he comes back shall probably kick him.

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RealLifeIsForWimps · 17/12/2011 00:00

I hope at least that the train is warm and free of vomiting drunks

I dread evenings where large groups of people are moving en masse from drinks to dinner to party etc. You always lose huge chunks of time to faffing. I remember my wedding coordinator telling me that I needed to allow 30 mins from dinner being called to when the caterers would actually be able to start bringing the food out. I was incredulous- 30 mins to put glass down, have a pee and sit down???? Shume mishtake shurely? No. 28 minutes. The head usher timed it Grin

Getting and paying bills also seems to go into a time warp that takes about 45 mins minimum

"Right, so shall we get the bill?"
"Okay" [bill arrives. everyone sits and stares at it. some poor sucker eventually picks it up]
"Ok, how shall we do this? Split it?"
"Oh but I didnt drink"
"I didnt have a starter"
"Well shall I pass it round and everyone just work it out then?"

This is the moment when I lose the will to live and want to yell "No , please don't as that is the guaranteed way to be £10 short and us all repeat the exercise for the next 3 hours because everyone is convinced they calculated theirs exactly right."

Trills · 17/12/2011 00:03

WHo will kick him? You or long-legged man?

You could just growl instead :)

TandB · 17/12/2011 00:06

Ooh ooh ooh! People are getting off at reading! I now have a non table seat with room for legs. And it has a fancy pants entertainment system. Life is looking up.....

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tethersjinglebellend · 17/12/2011 00:07

I remember being told that they were not allowed to charge you for using the toilet if you were pregnant... I will google to see if I made that up.

Trills · 17/12/2011 00:08

Entertainment system?

Do you mean you have MN on your phone? That's the closest thing to an entertainment system I've seen on a train.