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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wonder this or just a tit?

30 replies

Cathycomehome · 16/12/2011 22:34

My son is going to his friend's birthday thing tomorrow, bowling, meal and sleepover.

So, I'm assuming the sleepover bit is free Wink but do I send him with money for the going out? Is this still a birthday party or is it different now they are older (11 and 12)?

Forgive me, it's trivial, but I've had a hard day and now am getting inexplicably anxious about this.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 16/12/2011 22:35

I would ring the parents and ask them.

HeidiKat · 16/12/2011 22:36

I would send him with money just in case.

AgentZigzag · 16/12/2011 22:37

I'd probably send him with a fiver.

It's enough to get a drink in, but not so much that he goes on a wild spending spree.

It's nice to feel like a man of means at 11 Grin

thepeoplesprincess · 16/12/2011 22:37

If you've got cash handy then yeah, definitely send it just in case.

WorraLiberty · 16/12/2011 22:37

Tell your son to ring his friend and ask him.

michglas · 16/12/2011 22:38

It's a bowling and sleepover party for his friends birthday, so pressie or card with money in it xx

DoesNotGiveAFig · 16/12/2011 22:38

I'd send a bit of cash with him.

Original poster
Cathycomehome · 16/12/2011 22:38

OK, I think I'll give him £20 in case now worries if this is enough money and also how much money for "just stick some money in the card" is the right amount of money

OP posts:
Original poster
Cathycomehome · 16/12/2011 22:39

As in - money in card instead of present (I am not usually this inept, honest)

OP posts:
KurriKurri · 16/12/2011 22:39

I'd say the hosts will be paying for the bowling and meals, - I wouldn't invite children to a birthday treat and expect them to pay for themselves.

I imagine he's taking gift, and you could always send him with some sweets or crisps or something for all the boys to share (while they are up all night not sleeping Grin)

AgentZigzag · 16/12/2011 22:40

£10 in a card I would say?

KurriKurri · 16/12/2011 22:41

Oh - I've said the opposite of everyone else Grin - feel free to ignore, I'm probably completely out of touch, my kids are grown up!

AgentZigzag · 16/12/2011 22:41

'you could always send him with some sweets or crisps or something'

Yeah, we'd do that as well.

Original poster
Cathycomehome · 16/12/2011 22:42

I thought a tenner in card for present too- I knew about the money in the card bit as I asked his mum about the gift bit.

OP posts:
KurriKurri · 16/12/2011 22:42
Grin
MeltedAdventCalendarChocolates · 16/12/2011 22:42

Kurri, unfortunately some people do just that!!

Original poster
Cathycomehome · 16/12/2011 22:44

I suppose I'd better ring his mum and check and then she will know rather than just suspect that I am dim for not knowing these things

OP posts:
BeaHededd · 16/12/2011 22:47

Ok I have a 12 year old dd and did a meal out and sleepover for 6 friends for her Birthday and didn't expect anyone to pay which is why the meal was restricted to six friends.
Two more wanted to come for the meal and I explained they would have to pay which they did. I would assume this was along the same lines.
All the sleepover girls bought along stuff like sweets and facemasks.
And a tenner is more than fine for a gift Smile

WorraLiberty · 16/12/2011 22:49

If I was the Mum I wouldn't think you were dim for not knowing

I'd think you were nice and unassuming

Goolash · 16/12/2011 22:49

I would presume it's all paid for in a party / group deal. To be on the safe side I would give him a tenner just in case, or he wanted an extra drink.

In the card I'd think anything between £5 and £15 would be reasonable.

AgentZigzag · 16/12/2011 22:51

' Grin'

That wasn't because of what I said was it? Shock

I just read mine back and it does look a bit 'Oh well we get a present, send them with some cash and get sweets and shit '

I was just agreeing with you Grin

Original poster
Cathycomehome · 16/12/2011 22:53

There are only five of them including birthday boy, so maybe it is like your set up then BeaHededd, although I will still have to check now!

(Hope friend's mum is like you WorraLiberty, and doesn't take out adverts in the village paper saying "Did you guys all hear about Cathycomehome?? Hahaha!" Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
Cathycomehome · 16/12/2011 22:55

Missed posts there - I will beat you AgentZigzag- I will send money, send cash in card, send sweets and shit, AND take them all out again the next day to something proper good Wink

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 16/12/2011 22:55

I'm not saying I wouldn't mutter 'thick cow' under my breath! Grin

If you don't want to ask her, can your son not ring his mate and ask?

BeaHededd · 16/12/2011 23:00

Cathy now you have said five plus Birthday boy that sounds like it is all taken care of as there are six per lane for bowling.
If you feel the need send him with an envelope with £20 in to give to the Mum explaining that his silly nice Mum wasn't sure if the bowling needed paying .
If this happened to me I would only think good things about the childs parents.