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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset that dh has ignored my calls all day

25 replies

gateacre1 · 16/12/2011 20:01

I have tried to call him quite a few times during the day and gave up about 1730, I needed speak to him.
Its his work night out and he does this all the time, whenever he goes out he ignores my calls.
I find it really rude and it makes me feel a little worthless, like he couldnt give a shit if I need to contact him ( in case of an emergency with kids etc) AIBU ?

OP posts:
vanimal · 16/12/2011 20:02

Maybe text him your message instead? It will be harder to ignore.

michglas · 16/12/2011 20:04

Text him saying you are in bed with your lover and have just had the best sex you've ever had, that will get a response :-)

Original poster
gateacre1 · 16/12/2011 20:05

I did text him to ask him to call me
nada
maybe he has left his phone somewhere?

OP posts:
Original poster
gateacre1 · 16/12/2011 20:06

michglas ha ha that is hilarious
I should add 'latino' lover that would get his attention !

OP posts:
Pandemoniaa · 16/12/2011 20:06

I don't want to excuse fuckwitted behaviour but might your dh have actually been working while he was at work? I don't answer my phone to personal calls if I'm at a work meeting or on an assignment and neither does dp. Which is why sending a text is much more sensible - and also harder to ignore!

MrsCampbellBlack · 16/12/2011 20:06

Was it an emergency?

Perhaps he was in a meeting?

anneatkins · 16/12/2011 20:07

No, yanbu.

I don't give a rip what day it is, your husband (or partner) has a duty of responsibility and just plain manners to at least acknowledge your calls.

He may text and say "sorry couldn't answer, am busy, is it important?" or something - but I personally would accept this sort of hit from no one who I considered a "friend" let alone family or immediate family.

It is not acceptable.

Original poster
gateacre1 · 16/12/2011 20:10

he always always answers his phone or calls me back with 10 mins
he has ignored my emails too

he is probably pissed somewhere by now but I did expect to be able to contact him at lunch time
I needed to speak to him about the kids
who knows !

OP posts:
Kladdkaka · 16/12/2011 20:12

Do you give him grief before a night out?

Original poster
gateacre1 · 16/12/2011 20:37

no I told him to have a really good time

OP posts:
Pishtushette · 16/12/2011 20:44

It wouldn't annoy me if it happened just once, but if he always ignores you when he's having a night out, I think that's plain rude. (I'm sure he's a lovely guy though. I'm not DH bashing) Xmas Smile

StealthPenguin · 16/12/2011 21:26

Sorry, but when I was living with my parents even my stepfather answered/returned my calls when I rang him at work. Even if I was just checking to see if he wanted me to pick up bread and milk!

YANBU. Give him the cold shoulder. He's being a childish prat.

GoingForGoalWeight · 16/12/2011 21:37

My ex used to do this ALL the time, i was so foolish to put up with him made me feel worthless too :(

smoggii · 16/12/2011 21:53

Does he ignore you because you hound him if he goes out?

NB I am not saying you do, but if you have in the past it could be a case of ignoring the boy who cried wolf or the OH who got on his tits when he was trying to have a laugh with his friends

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 16/12/2011 21:55

My DH once did this - we had a stupid spat just before he left for work and he turned his phone off and sulked and then refused to come to the office phone once we finally got someone to answer it, and I had a miscarriage that day... We couldn't get hold of him, and when he got in from work I was in the hospital and he had a phone full of increasingly hysterical voice mails capped by one from my mam telling him in no uncertain terms exactly what she thought of him Confused
He never EVER did it again though, but it was a bloody hard lesson. We've never ever parted on "hard words" or "bad terms" since - we both grew up a lot that day :(

Toobluntforsleighbells · 16/12/2011 22:37

Going against the grain a bit here, but why would you be phoning him when he's on a day/night out unless it's an emergency? Not saying he's right to ignore you, but if you do it a lot, then that may be why. Sad

DoesNotGiveAFig · 16/12/2011 22:39

YANBU. He = twunt.

thepeoplesprincess · 16/12/2011 22:40

Just text him the message, and if it's a sensible one he'll respond.

It sounds to me also like he's trying to avoid an ear-bashing.

AbbyAbsinthe · 16/12/2011 23:02

Have you heard from him yet?

xyfactor · 16/12/2011 23:35

He shouldn't be ignoring you so you are not BU there.
But I make a point of not phoning my OH on nights out.

CalmaLlamaDown · 17/12/2011 07:39

how did we cope pre mobile technology?

My DH sometimes does this but i assume noisy pub so can't hear or no reception are the reasons!

AbbyAbsinthe · 17/12/2011 11:35

I would get very pissed off with someone calling or texting me all the time when I was out. Just wondered what was so important.

SolidGoldStockingFilla · 17/12/2011 11:39

If it actually is urgent, send a text. If you have form for constant phonecalls that are either checking up 'Just called to say I wuv you bunny rabbit' or whining about minor issues then it's not surprising he ignores you when he's busy.

SkinnyWhiteBoy · 17/12/2011 12:53

YANBU. Certain types of work excepted, there are few workplaces where it could be totally impossible to take 2-5 minutes away from your work to answer a call. Fag breaks are tolerated.
Don't respond in like kind. Don't give him the cold shoulder. Try and talk to him sensibly about it once he's back and sober - be the better example.

AliBellandthe40jingles · 17/12/2011 12:57

I don't understand why he doesn't answer when he is going out. Is he worried you are going to tell him there is a reason he can't go - any history to suggest that?

Surely you would just text and outline the problem and ask him to give you a ring?

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