to think it could be more than just toddler is accident-prone?

[enjaybenjay]

My friend, who's a SAHM, has a son recently turned 2. In the last 8mths he has had a burn from an electrical heater, broken an arm & just now broken the other arm. Prior to this, from about 6mths he has been underweight, as in below the lowest weight percentile & has been on supplemental formula. He doesn't appear to be developmentally delayed or otherwise compromised. Upon hearing of the latest broken arm I couldn't help wonder if these injuries are all purely accidental but don't know if I have been influenced by hearing lots of stories recently like Baby P etc I know of many toddlers & preschool age kids through daycare, preschool, mothers' groups, toddler music group, kindergym, etc cos my DS is 3 & altho I know of lots of injuries from bumping into things, falling etc, some even requiring stitches, I can't recall knowing of any child of this age that has actually broken a limb. They recently had a second DS & the broken arms have happened since he was born, so maybe mum has been more distracted when keeping an eye on him?

The other aspect is that the family is quite hardcore christian & I know they follow a religous parenting regime. I have heard some of these can be quite extreme but assume it's mainly in the US amongst fundamentalists. She can be quite shouty with the boy & I have seen her sort of slap him, which I found awful, but it was less than things I've seen at the supermarket. When her marriage was going through a bad patch she did once say she was worried her husband might "explode" . He is a bit controlling from what I gather, eg won't let her drink, swear, wouldn't let her have her own car until just recently, but she seems to accept it, possibly as part of the religious aspect of their marriage.

So on one hand this adds up in my mind to a potentially worst case scenario of the son being at risk but on the other hand is it all coincidence & the boy is just accident prone? I am pregnant at the mo too, so hormones could be causing me to be extra sensitive & overthink this? It's going round & round in my head!

is the child happy? actually scrap is the child happy as children moods vry.

im sure the hosp would have said somehting if they were concerned. know lods of kids with black eyes/broken arms but they have really lovely home lves

I don't blame you for being worried, but at the same time:

If he was underweight through neglect (which I assume is your suggestion), then it seems unlikely that they would either have had him weighed and discovered he was underweight, or been bothered enough to get supplementary formula.

If you have a child who climbs they are more likely to fall and have accidents. I do know of several children who have broken limbs at 3 and under, none of whom I would be at all worried about. One broke her arm tripping on the kitchen floor.
Sometimes it does feel like injuries come at once. Dd2 has been to A & E 3 times (now age 8) two times were in the space of a fortnight. Dd1 has never had to go to A & E and ds, at one point, had been so many times over 6 months the nurse recognised him by name the last time we went in . He now hasn't been for 2 years.

It could be the child has a bone density deficiency or something. Does he climb a lot too?

If you're worried you could ask how it happened.

It rings lots of alarm bells for me. Two broken arms at the age of two? It seems freakishly unlikely. You'd hope the medics or social services would have picked up on it if there was anything wrong, but I don't know. Neither do I know what you can do about it except, perhaps, make an anonymous phone call to social services.

You're right to be concerned BUT two of my three children had broken limbs under the age of two. For a child this age with a fracture, though, I'd be surprised if SS are not already aware, as I think they're automatically notifed of A&E visits.

DS, at 15 months, wasn't talking yet and couldn't be asked about his accident, so we had the social services round asking (gently) if things were generally OK. Well, he was covered in bruises permanently, and appeared to have a death wish, but otherwise he was fine -- just liked climbing and had no sense.

Four years later, DD, at 16 months, was (to my relief) very very able to tell the doctors all about her hurty arm and asked me to kiss it better. Telling my mother I'd broken another toddler was the harder part.

I'd be worried why don't you talk to the local HV about it

My lil bro broke two arms and a leg before he was 3. Not unheard of

our ds currently at 4 hasn't broken anything but seems determined to kill himself. The other day he managed somehow to headbutt the floor from a standing position. I still doubt myself whether or not that actually happened lmao. hes our special guy

I think that a quiet call to children's social care would be a good idea. As others have said a&e should have notified but I'm aware through my work that it is not always as smooth as you might hope. You also have a few other concerns. They may come to nothing but if someone else also has niggles and rings social care or if they have other info it might be significant. One of the major lessons learnt from the kyra ishak (sp sorry I'm too ill to check) case was that neighbours had concerns but didn't say, the community has a role in keeping children safe. Best pass it on in my view. It will be confidential.

We have a mild form of Brittle bone disease running in the family - for at least 3 generations. It is only in the past year that this has been properly diagnosed and genetic tests done family members. Social services have been involved with
one branch of the family after a "suspicious" broken bone (this led to the genetic testing). MANY members of the family have had joint dislocations and broken bones from doing things like jumping off sofas, slipping on ice etc (but maybe only 2 or 3 broken bones in each childhood).

Looking back, it's easy to recognize the signs that the affected kids within our family had - short for age, underweight, delicate facial features (triangle shape, wide at top, smallish jaw/chin), blue/grey look to the "white" of the eye, brittle teeth (and baby teeth wear down fast), frequent shoulder/hip pain/joint problems. Some broken bones. I think the milder forms of brittle bone are hugely under-diagnosed.

Could this be the reason in your friends case? Do you have other reasons to suspect abuse? If you suspect it IS abuse, phone the SS.