AIBU to be suspicious....

[Jinglejingle]

My husband is a charismatic and successful teacher. Becasue he teaches music, at this time of year, he has lots of concerts in the evenings. Last week he had 2 school socials and this week he has concerts/socials 3 evenings. We argued this morning about how we communicated whilst he's out. I asked him to text me when he leaves so that I know he's on his way home (I get worried when he's been drinking in case something happens...irrational but since having DD just feel like it would be so awful if...)
Anyway, this evening he phoned to say that his phone had died and he took my mob number so that he could text me from someone else's phone when he's leaving. I still haven't heard from him. It just doesn't FEEL right. It is a 'school day' tomorrow and if I was him, I would be knackered. His dept at school has lots of pretty young teachers. It just feels like they must be such a fresher, funner option than me. Besides which, I feel like my 'babysitting' units have been rather used up! 7 days of the last 10 he's been out and that means that I've HAD to stay in. Whilst I'm not craving a big night out, I am just feeling a bit trapped and paranoid.
Eughh.... ick. What are the signs of a work affair? Tell me to stop being a nutter if that's what you think I'm being...

You are not being a nutter but maybe slightly paranoid from having been in so much and having so much time to think about it. I would feel the same.

I have a few friends who are musicians and this is their busiest time of year - I am sure he is genuinely really busy. Personally, I would find out when he has his next night off so he can be on babysitting duty.

How old are your kid/s? I understand why, because it's rubbish feeling like you're always the one stuck in the house on the sofa, but you're not really being fair. It's not that late. Concerts are work not social stuff. He's said he will text and made sure he can. Unless you have concrete proof to suggest you shouldn't, I would try to trust him.

His behaviour is completely normal for a music teacher if my music teacher friends ( I have several ) are typical . It's a really busy time of year for them and I don't know where they get the energy to teach all day , perform in concerts , go for residential weekend away.....

Stop being a nuttter ! It's not that late.
Be glad your husband is a successful and charismatic music teacher . There's a lot of unemployment out there.

And plan some nights out for yourself in January

I am going to be straight with you here.

You sound slightly hysterical, and very paranoid.

He is an adult. Not a child.

He should not need to check in with you like this.

He is most likely not having an affair.

Yes, you are being a bit nutty.. calm down!!!

The pretty young teachers probably have pretty young boyfriends.. stop worrying!!

can you call the number he phoned from, see who answers? I dont understand why he should/would be drinking on school week night social.

ha ha... thank you everyone... particularly Squeaky Toy. I pray these mad feelings have subsided by the morning.

Having just been a 'body' @ the school concert this evening - and having been to several of my own childrens, and having been a 'body' at the drama producation last week - I can guarantee your DH is still stacking equipment away before it goes walk about - either that or he's a gibbering wreck in a corner.

TBH one dead phone, one late night working does not constitute an affair.

You are being a nutter.

No, you are not being 'nutty' just feeling insecure. 7/10 nights is a lot.
Ask him about it, tell him it's making you feel paranoid. See what he says.

YABU to be suspicious, but YANBU to be fed up unto the back teeth. Can't wait for the holidays...