To be feeling a little blue?

[feelingdown2011]

I have namechanged for this one. DH and I both work full-time and now have very good salaries, however we are paying hefty sums each month to CCCS to clear our debts. These debts arose when DH lost his job and I was on a much lower salary. In 15-months time we will be totally debt-free and just have a mortgage, which will be the best feeling ever. We have very little disposable income left after paying everything and we really don't mind as we are both working towards a common goal which will better our lives.

However, I am feeling a little blue. I missed a christmas do last friday as i couldn't afford to go. Work are going out tomorrow night for a few drinks and I am not going. I haven't said to colleagues that I am not going yet, just a maybe as I didn't want to feel pressured into saying why. In our profession, you are expected to be financially sound with personal finances as well as business ones. I know that the sacrifice it in the long run, I just feel like a little down (and a little selfish for it) because I am missing out on festivities. Additionally though, i have become very grudging at paying over-inflated prices for stuff, so even if we had money in the bank (which we don't) I wouldn't go as i would be working out what better ways to spend that money.

I just feel a little down that DH and I are working so hard to clear the way for a better future. We have scaled down Christmas in terms of presents, which is also fine. I just felt a little jealous walking through town earlier back to the office, and saw people in windows enjoying christmas parties and people in the street loaded with shopping bags.

I don't like being a selfish person and I need a good kick up the bum to snap me right out of it.

You are doing the right thing. A year really is a short space of time and it will soon pass.

You certainly arent the only ones in the same boat.

Think of it this way.. all those people lugging their carrier bags, are likely to be piling it onto the plastic, and will be doing exactly what you are in a years time.

Good on you for sorting it out, and stop worrying.. you are being sensible... which is no bad thing.

good on you for clearing the debt hangover.

wish i was debt free in 15 months, more like 5 for me.

It's hard not to allow all the consumerist crap to worm it's way into your brain at this time of year.

But you are doing the right thing! Facing up to your financial problems and turning them round is brave and sensible. Try and focus on your goals - to have cleared your debt will be an amazing feeling, much better than a drunken party you'll either have forgotten about or wish you had!

Yep what squeaky said

As someone who has this afternoon

1. Persuaded colleagues that the xmas drink should be at a pub out of town with a car park just to avoid the parking charges instead of the town centre pub initially picked (I drank lemonade as driving anyway).

1. Hung around to make sure I arrived with the boss so got a drink bought instead of having to stand one myself as I have 60p to my name and payday is a week away (boss made quite clear he was buying anyway a week ago)

1. Making an excuse up for shooting off and not standing a drink (felt truly shitty about this)

Will be exhibiting this kind of behaviour for many years to come so I say good for you for getting to grips but, please, 18 months, that's a walk in the park.

It's hard isn't it? We're still paying off some of DH's debts (that he racked up for the fuck of it a few years back) and I've had to give up work so we're only on his one income and we're really scaling everything back. I've genuinely spent about £50 on presents/stocking fillers, and another £40 on materials/ingredients to make more presents. We used our saved up nectar points to cover the cost of the Christmas shop (we're hosting his parents too this year) and are shopping around to get the best deals wherever possible. DH isn't going on a works night out next week because we can't afford it and we've bought the weeniest of trees to decorate. It's hard, but it's still going to be lovely. Because It Has To Be.

btw, we've been paying off debts for a long time now, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and your 15 months may well fly by.

Is there any way you can bring in extra money either to add to your paying-off pot or to afford you a couple of luxuries every now and then? (Dh does some tutoring and I've sold things on ebay and sold my handicrafts at a stall)

Thank you so much, yes it's just this time of year and all the consumerism. Girls are getting max of £60-£65 spent on each of them, DH and i don't get each other anything and we don't buy for the rest of the family. I know deep down it will all be worth it, it's just hard every now and again. We do the occasional car boot fair and ebay stuff to help get by.

It probably doesn't help that out of a team of 17, there are only 2 of us with children so none of the others have financial hardships. However, I shall not let it get me down when they all go to the pub at 3 pm and I shall instead come home and sink into one of DH's lovely cuddles.

I really can't wait for the day to arrive when we're debt-free. We spent 6 years with our heads in the sand pretending we were okay, and the past year actually dealing with it.

We use our nectar points to pay for xmas food every year. Me and MIL pool ours together, and we usually end up with about £80s worth, which pays for all we need.

We dont send xmas cards.

And this year, me and husband have agreed that there is nothing either of us actually "need", so buying extravagant presents, which we have done in previous years, is really daft. So we have set a £25 limit, and thats all we will spend on each other.

To give you an idea of how ridiculous our spending used to be, I think I spent about £100 on the dog a couple of years ago!!!!.... times have definately changed due to health problems, work issues etc... so we have really cut back now, and its not doing us any harm at all.

"sink into one of DH's lovely cuddles" that though is everything you need. Really.

can't remember the last time DH gave me a decent hug :(