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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed by christmas cards given as birthday cards!!

60 replies

hanreeoak · 15/12/2011 20:25

My son was three yesterday, he had two christmas cards given to him as birthday cards, both with 'Merry Christmas' printed on the front and a pressie wrapped in christmas paper. I know I should be greatful that these people remembered his birthday and I am, It just irratates the hell out of me. He was due Christmas day and came early which I'm glad about, it just seems a raw deal that his sisters get special cards, lots of visitors ect (October and May babies) but his birthday gets taken over with Christmas. People have said sorry too busy to get a gift or visit him, he can't help when he was born, I feel sorry for people that are born even closer to Christmas.
Ahhhh, rant over.

OP posts:

IneedAChristmasNickname · 15/12/2011 21:16

t0lk13n That's awful! Sorry about your Dad!

schroeder · 15/12/2011 21:18

This makes my blood boil, poor little chap.

Don't even get me started on 'joint presents', you know the kind of thing my July birthday db would get for just christmas or just for birthday?

t0lk13n · 15/12/2011 21:19

Ineedachristmasnickname.....she is very tight! Lol....at least she cared enough to write in it and it kept a few of us amused when we were obv sad x

IReallyHateMyCat · 15/12/2011 21:32

cards are a waste of money and bad for the environment. YABU

Luminescence · 15/12/2011 21:33

It's bad enough having a December birthday in the cold and dark without the selfish Fuckers who don't think you have the right to celebrate it separately like everyone else gets to.

tulipgrower · 15/12/2011 21:37

To be fair, it looks like the joint presents will all be worth at least twice a regular present.

But to be honest, I have just bought a pile of presents for my DS2 and thought I'd just pick one out for his birthday, and he'd get the rest at Christmas. (Despite my resolve that I buy him neither a birthday nor a Christmas present, because he doesn't get it anyway and we're already drowning in toys)

hohohoshedittant · 15/12/2011 21:38

t0lk13n that's terrible!

beingarebel · 15/12/2011 21:38

My birthday is extremely close to Christmas. I used to get a lot of joint presents and hated it. I don't do it for others unless I have spoken to them because I want to get them something more expensive that means I just can't afford to get 2 presents. Even then, like this year with my neices, I've given them something big as joint (checked with their mum) but have handmade them something small which will be wrapped in birthday wrapping paper and is for their birthdays.

Sirzy · 15/12/2011 21:39

YANBU. It is my nephews 3rd birthday tomorrow and although the house is full of christmas wrapping paper I made a trip out today to make sure I had birthday wrapping paper for his present.

Its unfair to make the birthday any less special because of the time of year!

LikeAnAdventCandleButNotQuite · 15/12/2011 21:41

If the gift giver was present, OP, i'd be tempted to say "oooh, DS, a lovely Christmas Present for you, lets pop it under the tree" and when they try and explain it is a Birthday present, say something along the lines of "well, given it's wrapped in Christmas Paper, you can see how I got confused"

My LO is due tomorrow, and will likely be late (first) so I am mentally preparing myself for a good few years of defending their entirely separate birthday. TBH, though I would never expect a gift for my child off anyone, and would be grteful for them to be thought of, it would smart a little to have say one £10 gift to cover both events rather than two little £2 gifts one for each occassion. It really is rather lazy and will only get worse if and when LO's brother/sister comes along in the future and probably will end up with very separate months for birthday and christmas

tulipgrower · 15/12/2011 21:43

(DS2 could have made it a lot easier on himself, if he had bothered to get moving a little earlier. Wk 41 wasn't my idea of fun either. )

What would the Dec. babies think is a good solution? Just ensure that the actual birthday is celebrated, (even if friends and rels can't come)? Or should I introduce a 'half-birthday', so he gets a summer present too?
(DS1 is a July baby.)

Sirzy · 15/12/2011 21:45

If someone introduced a "half birthday" i wouldn't dream of buying them a present for that your birthday is your birthday (and I say that as someone with an early jan birthday who always got forgotten/joint presents)

You just have to make a big thing of the birthday, do things they enjoy just like you would at other times of the year.

randommoment · 15/12/2011 21:47

A good friend is a Christmas Day baby. I always send her a card with something really sunny and seaside-y on it. YANBU at all!

tulipgrower · 15/12/2011 21:47

What about if I establish the first weekend in Jan. as the birthday weekend for DS2? Then the relatives will be able to come, it'll be a fixture in the calendar, and spread the presents out a little.

randommoment · 15/12/2011 21:51

DDs are late January, we have tried to have a party in July, but it always seems to fall to bits, coincides with the end of term and half the potential guests are off on holiday.

nothingoldcanstay · 15/12/2011 21:56

Yes but it no different to August birthdays who never get everyone to a party because it's school holidays.

YABU because people aren't trying to horrible it's just that there is a feck loads of things to buy at this time of year. I spend too much time choosing one present so finding two is impossible (and maybe just not financially do able).

I have a boyfriend and two close friends with birthdays this week so I do understand. Boyfriend loves lots of things to open but earns way more than me so he does miss out (although I try and make a specially decorated cake). I am giving other friend a hamper of "night in goodies" but she never gets herself anything so is really chuffed with anything. The other friend really didn't like her birthday present so now I have to find something really good for her Christmas present. It's all too stressful at this time of year.

Don't have sex in March is all I can say.

LikeAnAdventCandleButNotQuite · 15/12/2011 22:00

"Dont have sex in March" Nothing great advice. Or.......dont wait til the last minute to find gifts. Birthday's occur yearly, they dont spring up in December randomly. There are 365 days in a year, birthday/christmas presents don't only need to be bought in the month they are to be given

Sirzy · 15/12/2011 22:04

I agree Adventcandle.

DS has a November birthday, my nephew December and a few in early january to so I start buying presents early to make sure I can afford it. It is hardly their fault they are born at a time when people have lots to buy.

schroeder · 15/12/2011 22:13

Don't have sex in march! well this was my plan and thankfully my dc do not have december birthdays.

Doesn't help for me though, as I was born several weeks premature, I cannot even blame my dm for thoughtlessly concieving me in March.

nothingoldcanstay · 15/12/2011 22:21

LAACBNQ - so buying any old present is OK then is it? I actually like to put some thought in rather than spending for the sake of it. How on earth would you know what somebody wanted months in advance?

Luminescence · 15/12/2011 22:30

December birthday manifesto:
No Christmas cards as birthday cards
No Christmas paper
No joint presents
No Christmas food or Christmas activities on the day.

Wish I could have decided as an ovum not to be fertilised in March, sadly didnt have the power of rational thought at that point. My mum knows I don't like my December birthday.

nothingoldcanstay · 15/12/2011 22:35

Ohh and have you noticed how December birthdays never throw a party? They are always happy to turn up at the office/school/friends organised events and moan about how no one remembers it's their birthday though.

Sorry hanreeoak. I'm sure your boy will have lots of good friends and lovely birthday's.

nailak · 15/12/2011 22:35

I wrap birthday presents of people born in July in left over Xmas paper, is it offensive? Should I stop? I also wrap eid presents, leaving gifts etc in xmaas paper.

Luminescence · 15/12/2011 22:41

I've held birthday parties before, but its difficult to find a date people can do as they have office parties or family visits they are obliged to go to. When's your birthday nothingoldcanstay?

nothingoldcanstay · 15/12/2011 22:56

Ha! Mines the middle of January. I get all the gifts people didn't want for Christmas (so I get loads and loads!). Birthday money can be spent in the sales too. People are also still in party mode I find. As there is nothing going on in January you can have a really good night out. Plus it gives you something to look forward to after the excitement of Christmas has gone.

The downside is that parties have to be indoor events. I would have liked a outside festival with a big marquee for my 40th but the snow rather spoilt that! Also as a child every party also had a powercut but that was the 70's.

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