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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU - to grab my children and bunk off school?

21 replies

RosemaryandThyme · 15/12/2011 10:58

This afternoon parents have been asked to collect their children at 2 and drive to nearby church for christmas service for an hour or so, then take children home as school is then finished for the term.

I don't want to sit in church, my toddler is tricky to control but mostly I hate it because the church is tiny and packed to the gunnels, can never get a seat and parents are hissing at each other - its' a bun-fight.

So AIBU to collect kids and just turn left to home instead of right to church - and just well, bunk off ?

OP posts:

FauxFox · 15/12/2011 11:03

YANBU - enjoy your early home time, unless there is a register taken at the church (which I would doubt as parents are there) nobody will even notice you are not there in the scrum (and if anyone does they will forget about it by January!)

Merry Christmas!

jollyoldstnickschick · 15/12/2011 11:06

Id disagree the church part of the Christmas celebrations in school is a lovely warm memory for you and your dc as they get older.

I miss all those irritating things now my dc are older .

redskyatnight · 15/12/2011 11:09

If you don't want to go I'd ask another parent to take your DC. I bet they will want to be part of the church service (and potentially worried about repercussions if they dont' turn up).

OldeChestnut · 15/12/2011 11:10

the church part of the Christmas celebrations in school is a lovely warm memory for you and your dc as they get older.

agree

FaverollesWithBoughsOfHolly · 15/12/2011 11:12

Agree with Nickschick too.
Also, if everyone feels the same and bunks off, it won't be much of a Christmas service.

chocablock · 15/12/2011 11:18

I think you should go to the church - although I know it is tempting to bunk off. Whether you are religious or not your kids will want to make up their own minds about religion when they are older so it is good to give them the Christmas churchgoing memories to look back apon.

Original poster

RosemaryandThyme · 15/12/2011 11:18

Yes - this is why I'm torn - I value church at christmas, it is special - it's just the choas of our particular tiny church - that and feeling incredibly lonely as a mum, everyone else is loudly full of christmas cheer and I'm just trying to slide off into the vestry.....

OP posts:

IndigoBell · 15/12/2011 11:21

YANBU.

In fact it's the opposite. It's school that's being unreasonable expecting you to take your child to church during school time.

I really hope this is a church school....

But even if it is a church school, it's still unreasonable. What do the working parents do? Not to mention like you said all the ones who are at home because they have a house full of toddlers or other things that prevent them from going to church......

BuntyPenfold · 15/12/2011 11:24

Toddlers loud and tuneless singing is part of the deal!
Perhaps take a few snacks, colouring book etc to keep your toddler entertained, or let them roam/join in while you guard the exit?

AlwaysTimeForWine · 15/12/2011 11:24

YANBU

I wouldn't go - for the same reasons as you! The church next to school is tiny and when we've gone in the past it is crammed, baking hot and so uncomfortable. My 20 month old will not tolerate it and screams the whole time - so it's no fun for anyone! I would ask another parent to take your children and you will collect them afterwards if they really want to go!

AKMD · 15/12/2011 11:26

YANBU to want to do it but YWBU to actually do it. If it gets really bad then leave but give it a go. I used to love going to Midnight Mass with my mum. I'm no longer Catholic but DH and I mean to go every year as it's such a lovely atmosphere and a great start to Christmas day.

TrinityRhino · 15/12/2011 11:28

well I think bunking off from the annoying cramped church service at the end of term is fine

BUT

What will God say?

DurhamDurham · 15/12/2011 11:32

I miss the whole school play and church service things now that my girls are teens and i don't get invited to them anymore. However when they were little I would have loved to have bunked off, taken the girls home and just spent time togther. Working full time, I really savoured all of the time I had with my girls. So I say do what feels best/right for you and your little ones. In the grand scheme of things God will not mind at all that you bunked off once with your children.

TrinityRhino · 15/12/2011 11:38

I was only joking, sorry, maybe in poor taste

G0ldenbrown · 15/12/2011 11:42

before you do check that your DC does not have some kind of part in the service, even if it's just holding something up it could ruin the whole thing if they are not there

DurhamDurham · 15/12/2011 11:47

TRINITY It made me laugh, I just think that with it being Christmas God will turn a blind eye on a busy mum wanting to spend quallity time with her children

AKMD · 15/12/2011 11:47

Trinity I laughed :)

zimm · 15/12/2011 11:49

Oh my word the school expects you to take your child to church in school? How bloody presumptive and rude. Bunk off, read the Dc's The God delusion while you're at it.

mollymole · 15/12/2011 11:50

what does your child want to do, if they really want to go can you get someone else to take them there and you could then collect from the church

startail · 15/12/2011 11:56

Ask older DCs mine would want to go and be with their friends.
UANBU not to want to. DD2 was vile in church. She kicked the pew in front so you removed her shoes and she threw a tantrum because she wanted them back. I was delighted when she became preschools problem.

Original poster

RosemaryandThyme · 15/12/2011 11:59

Trinity - am laughing too - thank you everyone - it is a state C of E school - Indigo your really made me think, there will be parents who can't go today, one little boy I know will be driven by the school care-taker as his mum can't make it, have decided to go and make a point of waving at him and congratulating him at the end, I know his mum quite well so I can phone her this evening to say how good he was and let her know that even though she couldn't go, her little lad was supported.
Off to cram hand-bag with books and raisins!

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