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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to cry about my last breastfeed?

23 replies

Newmummytobe79 · 15/12/2011 09:16

I really didnt have a set plan to breastfeed or ff but DC took to it so well I chose to bf.

I didnt enjoy it at first but grew to like it.

Baby has been weaned to a bottle over the last few weeks and this morning wouldn't take the breast - I knew I had to give a bottle.

I've surprised myself at how sad I am that I didn't know yesterdays feed was the last.

I know I'll be fine tomorrow (I've been sad at each extra bottle I've added in but been fine - if not relieved the next time) but it just seems so final.

I don't want to express (done that!) and I know DC will be on solids soon ... but it just made me cry.

Is this normal?

OP posts:

MarkStretch · 15/12/2011 09:21

Yes!

When DS was 7 months old I developed eptopic heartbeats, saw a cardiologist who advised beta blockers but these would go into my milk so I stopped bf. DS has been ebf up until then and I had bf my DD until she was 14 months so it was heartbreaking to stop.

We had one last feed before I started the medication and I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

I didn't want the closeness to end.

PeggyCarter · 15/12/2011 09:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsCarriePooter · 15/12/2011 09:24

I cried with both of mine and they were over a year old - it is heartbreaking. Don't forget that stopping breastfeeding will also play around with your hormones as well so it's not a surprise it hits you so hard.

LydiaWickham · 15/12/2011 09:26

YANBU - I cried a lot too.

NinkyNonker · 15/12/2011 09:27

I cried when we stopped the other week at 15 months. She was only feeding once a day and didn't notice, but I did. Like a whole phase had ended, she was no longer my baby iyswim. Now she drinks milk from a cup like a big girl!

TroublesomeEx · 15/12/2011 09:28

Completely normal.

I had dreadful pregnancies with both of mine, but felt incredibly 'empty' when DS was born. Part of BF was, for me, a way of recapturing that sense of it being just 'us'; when he felt part of me again and the rest of the world just didn't matter.

So I did mourn when it ended with DC1. Not so much with DC2. Although I am now very sad that I know I will never do it again .

TeaCider · 15/12/2011 09:31

YANBU, I feel sad when I even think about stopping as this dc will be our last. I found it very difficult with dc1 too. I'm glad it's not just me and that others feel the same.

underbeneathsies · 15/12/2011 09:33

It mightn't be your last feed you know - my DD came off and on at about 9 months, having the odd feed, until just one morning I just knew by the way she moved so quickly off that that was it.

OMG how I howled!
So chin up, you still have a HUGE relationship with your babe - maybe give your babe a massage everyday and skin on skin for the bonding?

Well done BTW!

RealiTreeCoveredInTinsel · 15/12/2011 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bramshott · 15/12/2011 09:39

I cried with both of mine - actually more with DD1 I think because I did her "last feed", but with DD2 I was quite glad that I hadn't known the day before that it was our last feed IYSWIM.

olgaga · 15/12/2011 09:45

I was still feeding my daughter at 3 yrs 3 months - just a quick feed before bed. She got too big to do it comfortably, and I was rather tired of it!

We built up to the "last feed" - she was older obviously and was able to agree it was getting a bit difficult. The night we arranged it, it wasn't quite the serene last feed I had imagined, she was overtired, and I cried buckets later.

I was so grateful the following night when she asked for the breast again. We then had another "last feed" which was lovely - but I still cried buckets later!

I don't think it matters how you do it, or when, it's one of those milestones which are quite emotional. Someone else mentioned hormones, and I think they do play a part. It's probably worse for you than it is for them.

Well done!

aldiwhore · 15/12/2011 09:47

YANBU. I was ready to quit with my eldest, he was 17months old and had a milk allergy so breast was easier to stick with... but I was still sad.

My youngest had had enough at 7 months, he'd rather HOLD my breast and drink a bottle (can imagine he'll be the same as a fully grown adult actually!) and knowing that he was probably my last 'baby' I had a wobble.

YANBU at all.

worldgonecrazy · 15/12/2011 09:54

Like you, I didn't know it was my last feed. One evening at 15 months she didn't feed before bedtime and the next day no more feeds. I missed it terribly, especially when she had a cold and I had no way of passing on antibodies. You did so well to get so far, give yourself a medal and a treat.

TheOldestCat · 15/12/2011 09:57

I stopped when DS was 18 months; we were just down to a short bedtime feed by then. I knew it was his last one (and he's my last baby so my last BF ever) and so I cried and cried.

YAdefinitelyNBU. and, as this thread proves, you are not alone!

Iggly · 15/12/2011 10:00

YANBU! I was upset with DS (stopped around 2) but as I was expecting DD didn't want to tandem. He does ask for mummy milk now she's here though!

Hardgoing · 15/12/2011 16:05

I did a 'last feed' for my dd2 before starting medication. I cried loads, I didn't want it to end. I also worried it would be the last time I fed a baby in my life- that may still be the case. It is normal to feel sad.

Methe · 15/12/2011 16:10

YANBU.

I stopped with DS at 20 months and am still sad abut it now, he's 3 in a couple of weeks!

Breastfeeding is so lovely. yanbu at all :)

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 15/12/2011 16:10

I cried my eyes out too. Like Hardgoing I had to go on some medication so I knew for certain with both DD's exactly when the last time was - there was no winding down, no gentle easing off of it. Then short time later got hit with early menopause (age 37/38) so I KNEW I never ever would again.

I loved that closeness and bonding with them. They are 8 and 5 now and it's making me all misty just thinking about it :( :)

RumourOfAHurricane · 15/12/2011 16:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

iFailedTheTuringTest · 15/12/2011 16:14

We had a nursing strike at 16 mo, I was gutted as I thought it too late to re establish, but a couple of days, and sore boobs later, a nice calm nighttime cuddle did the trick, and we still going at 19 mo. I would welcome some aspects of stopping, but I will still cry when its over.

Jjou · 15/12/2011 16:17

YANBU - I'm welling up reading this and thinking about the last time I fed DS. I really struggled feeding DD, but DS just took to it so well, and I fed him until he was 12 months. I'd love to feed him again, even though he's 19 months now, I still miss it! Oooh, am feeling broody now too!

NinkyNonker · 15/12/2011 16:33

Now dd has a filthy cold I'm kind of regretting not pushing it more...

gremlindolphin · 15/12/2011 17:02

Yes!

I had to stop bf with dd1 when she was 3 months old as I had to have an op and medication. I was more upset about stopping bf than I was about the illness but it couldn't wait. DD1 and I had struggled to get going and had really got it sussed which was a shame.

I stopped bf dd2 when she was 11 months, she had fed like a dream and I loved it but we just came to a natural stop which was lovely but sad as I knew I'd never do it again. Crying now, very daft!

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