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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bah humbug

35 replies

4c4good · 14/12/2011 21:30

Anyone want to join? I doubt it somehow. I think I'm alone and you're probably really grateful for that!

I'll be brutally honest. I detest Christmas and always have. Every year I am plunged into an ever decreasing spiral of gloom as December draws on. Even the well meaning efforts of kids' choirs, singing the usual cheesy stuff at 33rpm - all charmingly gap toothed and wincingly off key,does I'm afraid, well, set my teeth on edge.

I now take no part in 'it' beyond the absolute minimum of supporting elderly parents over the consumer-fuelled, kitschly-marketted, blow-out godawfull bad-taste synthetic excuse for a family-centred christian festival that overtakes this country from mid November onwards. ( First hints appear in August now.)

I have masses of friends all over but I freed myself last year from the tyranny of Christmas cards. Most, let's be honest, are scrawled under duress and sent with as little thought as it takes to wipe your arse.

What is the point of soemthing sent with so little real meaning? Those I need to keep in touch with - I keep in touch with - annually or more frequently!

Then the kids stuff-acres of coloured plastic and once used, forever forgotten, or gadgets updated because that's what you do if pestered frequently enough.

I used to force myself into the stip-lit, musack-infested soul-less claustrophobic vision of hell that is shopping at christmas to buy presents for people who had all they needed and more, who then felt they ahd to reciprocate with stuff I neither want nor need - that I'm afraid largely ended up in Oxfam. Now we have an amnesty. I make a donation instead and sugggest they do the same - much relief all round. I really hope I show my love for those dear to me in other more meaningful ways.

I have never had a christmas tree - I mean, trees are beautiful - but outside where they belong with their roots in the earth, where you can stand under the branches and look up at the sky - not stuck in the corner of an overly centrally heated sitting room.

Was I the only child who saw through the lie almost immediately? At 3 or 4, I noted Santa's beard, unlike of those beswhiskered male adults of more conventional dress - was hung from elastic round his ear. Then I saw there were many, many Santas - how did that work? How coukd he arrive own the chimney when there was no chimney or fireplace? What four footed creatures flew?

But you know you feel you have to go along with with it as a child, up to a certain point, then as an adult you kind of do - until I realised I really didn't!

So I just stopped. Immense relief. You can too.

Roll on the end of Christmas.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 14/12/2011 21:36

Is there nothing you like?

Time off?

A mince pie perchance?

Glittery lights?

We have always had a midwinter feast, to alleviate the long dark nights. We need the break from the dark to get through.

Do you not?

BlissfulMistletoe · 14/12/2011 21:42

I feel sorry for you.

I love Christmas, I have my own way of doing Christmas and it is nothing like you have described

4c4good · 14/12/2011 22:04

Nothing I enjoy about Xmas, no - I'm a huge foody but I gag at the very thought of mince pies and even christmas pudding.

There are many things I love -and some of them are even about winter - a long walk through the woods with my dogs on a blue crispy morning, a roaring fire in the woodburner, laughing till I wee, my roast garlic butter chicken with roast potatoes and leeks, music, singing in a choir, the company of many friends and creatures, travel, literature, the amazing community I live in. Oh yeh - and dreaming of the year I WILL get to spend christmas in a country that doesn't celebrate it (plans in hand)

I usually work through as it's a great time to get stuff done.

BM - I can see from your name there's a tiny weeny hint that you and I are at different end of the xmas spectrum. No need to patronise though dear Grin - or feel sorry for me - I am no sad old bastard - I just have unpopular views about what I have suddenly realised I could call xcremas and need to voice them occasionally.

Like coming home after that long winter walk, desparate for a wee, sitting on the pan and letting flow.

Bah!

OP posts:
anothermum92 · 14/12/2011 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

4c4good · 14/12/2011 22:13

oooh another! I bet you don't take part in secret fucking santa then either do you?!

Xmas Smile
OP posts:
anothermum92 · 14/12/2011 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

4c4good · 14/12/2011 22:43

Actually I quite LIKE the idea ofNew Year's Eve - it seems a much more sensible thing to celebrate, if you want to.
Am nealry always in bed well before the witching hour though

OP posts:
LineRunnerCrouchingReindeer · 14/12/2011 23:40

My mother always cried on New Year's Eve reminiscing about Glaswegian relatives that she couldn't fucking stand anyway.

SarahSlaughter · 14/12/2011 23:57

OP your thoughts about Christmas seem to be a reaction to the over commercialised version of Christmas. I can understand how that could become irritating but the festival can be celebrated in your own way and in your own style.

I love the community aspect of Christmas, watching the advent candles lit in church, singing patricularly beaitiful
music, watching the church and school nativities, seeing all my family brought together from far and wide.

I'm a Christian so the festival is special to me from that point of view but I think there was a good reason the early church co-opted a Pagan festival. Winter is long, cold and dark (especially where I live) it's good to have some good cheer in the middle of it.

By the way Hogmamay is a blast - get some Scottish friends to invite you to a ceilidh and dance the night away!

SarahSlaughter · 14/12/2011 23:58

^ hogmanay obviously - getting over excited thinking about it!

BlissfulMistletoe · 15/12/2011 00:04

well this chritmas what i sugest is this.

morning....take the dogs for a very long walk

dinner:- roast garlic butter chicken with roast potatoes and leeks and what ever pudding you desire.

then spend the rest of the day, reading and listening to music.

SarahSlaughter · 15/12/2011 00:13

BM well that sounds just lovely!

flyingspaghettimonster · 15/12/2011 03:21

hmmmm, YANBU to think Xmas is shit. It is. But I love the lead up - the months of planning gifts perfectly designed to suit each friend and family member (for some that is as you suggested a charity donation, but many do prefer a well suited gift). I love the decorations and the twinkly lights and I love anticipating my kids faces when they open the presents I spent weeks wrapping, buying, saving for...

Then Christmas day comes along, and it is too early, too cold, too much work to do, nobody quite seems to enjoy their gifts as much as they ought to have, and I realise that yet again I spent all my birthday money on everybody else, and have nothing cool for myself.

So it is a bit wonderful and a bit shit.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 15/12/2011 13:45

YANBU. I hate the commercial aspects but also find it a very loaded time emotionally. The expectation around one day ? well, basically, one sodding meal ? is huge and surrounded by expectations about people spending money, being in this place versus that place for 'the big day', how everyone will all get on, etc etc.

I'm also indifferent to most Christmas food and would never voluntarily order or make for myself turkey, parsnips, stuffing, cranberry sauce, bread sauce, Xmas cake/pudding, mince pies or brandy butter.

I was in a not-particularly-Christmassy country for Christmas last year and it passed by almost unnoticed. Heaven.

eurochick · 15/12/2011 14:14

YANBU. I usually hate the commerciality but enjoy the family aspects but this year I am so down about not being able to get pregnant that I just want to pretend Xmas isn't happening. Xmas is for children and we don't have any to share it with. We have people from both sides of the family coming for Xmas and all I want to do is get on a plane and go off somewhere sunny until it is all over. I have never dreaded it this much before.

OrmIrian · 15/12/2011 14:20

Gawd bless us everyone!

Hmm

Christmas doesn't have to be as you describe - in fact ours isn't. It's up to you to make it what you want. Don't use 'commercialism' as an excuse. Just admit you're a miserable bastard, gwan! Grin

OrmIrian · 15/12/2011 14:23

Now NYE! That is a dismal non-event. Much rather sleep through that. And January as a whole is a dismal time - I'd hibernate from 4th Jan (DS1's b'day) until 6th Feb (my birthday).

Clownsarescary · 15/12/2011 14:24

YANBU I go through the motions for the dcs and other enthusiasts around me, with my feet dragging, its awful.

4c4good · 15/12/2011 21:48

Lovin' this! Bah! Xmas Grin

BM thank you for those thoughts - the day you describe, is happily, my typical saturday or sunday.

That's kind of my point, really.

BTW I can highly recommend Santaland Diaries by David Sedaris if you'd like to see christmas from the inside of an elf's costume.

Would it help for us xmas-phobics if I were to post a bah! thread over xcremas to help us all through?

Bah!

OP posts:
4c4good · 15/12/2011 21:52

And Euro, you'll get through. It would be easier if it was 'only' just a day - but unfortunatley it's not.

OP posts:
4c4good · 15/12/2011 21:59

Lady Clarice - clearly we are cut from the same noble cloth.
Bah!

OP posts:
LadyClariceCannockMonty · 16/12/2011 10:38
Clownsarescary · 16/12/2011 10:43

:)

OldeChestnut · 16/12/2011 10:46

life is what you make it

if you go through it with a scowl on your face, thats what you deserve

squeakytoy · 16/12/2011 10:49

But I love the lead up - the months of planning gifts perfectly designed to suit each friend and family member

Months???? MONTHS???

I still havent thought about what to get anyone!.. I might go to the shops on Monday..

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