Regards of contact with father

[EllenandBump]

Although his father has not been incontact since i left him because he was abusive i have a feeling that he will be wanting contact with our son.

However, i have decided that okay, he is of course able to have contact with his son, but i have aslso decided that although he can have contact with our son, he willl NEVER EVER have any contact or see me. I understand he ahs a legal right to our son, but not to me.

Is it so unreasonable that i would never want to see him again, or should i for the sake of my son? Our son is 18months old, so doesnt really understand the difference. x

I hope it works out for you. I know how difficult it is to he a single parent but at least you have family support.

FANTASTIC. MIL, sent me a chrsitmas card, what to do? If i send one back it wont be long before shes asking to see her grandson and then trying to pressure me into letting my ex see him and into seeing my ex.... dont want to be rude though as she did help us quite a lot when my little one was born. x

Ignore MIL for now. You don't want ex to know where you are - so don't tell MIL where you are by acknowledging you got the card!

Also, please think carefully about your posting. You need an outlet on here, fine. But if you don't want him to know where you are, why say where he lives, his MIL, and you - and that it's where your mother is. You think that set of information fits many people? You are making yourself VERY identifiable.

I'm sure you're safe at your mum's, but even people who don't have reason to keep the ex away should be aware of maintaining some anonymity on line!

Probably right, but he doesnt know i have a account on here as didnt get it until after we seperated and has no laptop any more cos he sold it to pay for beer and other substances. You might be right about it being a way to find where i am. x

If someone stabbed me they wouldn't come within a mile of my children, ever. What sort of example is that to a child .

Hope you get everything sorted out and keep safe.

Ellen, you've left him, you have no idea what access to the Internet he has now.
And LOTS of people use mumsnet.
It only takes a friend of a friend to be on here - you are really identifiable giving away 3 towns.
Next you're going to tell me Ellen is your real name!

I'm not trying to scare you. What I have said applies to EVERYONE - you shouldn't go posting identifiable information on very public forums.

It is a shame for MIL not to see your son, but your current situation is far too complicated to factor in being nice to her, whether she is contacting you on behalf of her son or not. And no matter how nice she is, you don't trust her because you're scared she'll go for custody. She wouldn't get it, but if you're even thinking like that, just walk away from this woman, and her son.

Just trying to be fair to everyone... seems really hard. Glad i stillhave my mum and me and my sister are getting along okay (as in havent tried killing each other yet) The best we ever have. x

You have to be fair to your son, by keeping him safe. At the moment, that means no contact with father and sad though it might be, his father's family. May not be forever. It's that simple though. Sod being fair to MIL, be fair to your son, and to you.

I will always keep him safe, he is the centre of my world and always will be. xxx

That is lovely. And should answer your question about what to do about the MIL card. Ignore, for this year. You just have too much else going on right now.