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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not to want to give christmas cards to every child and teacher in nursery?

22 replies

Marenostrum · 14/12/2011 17:05

Call me naive but I was taken aback when handed the list of children and teachers of my daughter's nursery "in case I wanted to send them Christmas cards". Hey? You are supposed to give them to everybody? I barely know the other kids and their parents and was going to give a card (one card) for all the teachers. Between that, the RSVP to b-days and parties, the party bags and what not, maybe I should think about hiring a PA for my daughter's social life, it is certainly more demanding than mine...

OP posts:

2BoysTooLoud · 14/12/2011 17:07

Probably some parents requested list. Don't worry about it though!

MabelLucyAttwell · 14/12/2011 17:12

Perhaps the intention is for you to choose for yourself who to send to or not, not necessarly send to everyone.

GrownUpBelievesInSanta · 14/12/2011 17:21

We did it to everyone and it's really exciting for DD (3) to be getting lots back, she's loved it. My DS (5) and I helped her write the cards, she did the kisses, DS wrote the card and I wrote the envelopes, along to Christmas music. It was all very nice over the period of a couple of evenings (we stopped whenever she got bored or distracted).

I think the point is that you participate if you and your child want to, not that it's expected.

aldiwhore · 14/12/2011 17:27

Oooh A list is very useful, I could do with one as I'm bad with names... you shoudn't feel obliged to send them all cards though. My eldest only started doing this when he started school, and only then because they've got a special post box. I look super popular due to the amount of cards on display on various walls and doors, they're most from my children's friends, I think about 3 are mine.

aldiwhore · 14/12/2011 17:28

grownup its great writing practice too isn't it?

andSothisisChristmasme · 14/12/2011 17:28

YANBU, but I don't think it's expected, rather just in case you want to.

My DD's nursery made a list available, I read through it and DD told me which children and teachers she wanted to send cards to (was about half).

Without the list I would barely have known where to start, pre-school only being one term in. I don't know many of the children's names yet and trying to get the information out of DD well, lets just say it's not easy

GrownUpBelievesInSanta · 14/12/2011 20:35

Absolutely aldiwhore

DS who only really just learned to read and write properly at the beginning of the year actually organised the writing of his cards himself. So he took the list and cards and sat himself down and wrote and ticked off each one with absolutely no input from me. His handwriting is coming along really well and I was impressed with his organisational skills.

Getting that first independently written card from him this year made me get a bit teared up and proud.

And given that he then supported his sister in writing sixty cards for nursery, I don't think I could beam any more, he's a right little smarty pants and how lovely to see him and his sister working together and not at each others throats.

Backtobedlam · 14/12/2011 20:39

YANBU. You don't need to send them at all, I certainly wouldn't noticed who had/hadn't sent cards. Some people donate to a charity instead of buying cards which I think is a great idea to. They probably gave a list as lots of parents had requested one, no pressure to send cards if you don't want to.

fluffysarah · 14/12/2011 20:42

god no. i would never remember everyone. Anyway i only send cards to close friends and family because at the end of the day they only get chucked in the bin afters. very wasteful.

GrownUpBelievesInSanta · 14/12/2011 20:44

We recycle Christmas cards actually, as gift tags, decorations and for crafting the next year.

missorinoco · 14/12/2011 20:45

YABU not to have a PA for your daughter's social life. Don't you realise you could hamper her future prospects? These early years are so formative.

I caved this year and wrote them for with DS who is in Reception. He signed four names, I did thirty. Mainly because I couldn't bear the thought of him wailing on Friday night (as school closes for the holdiays) that "he didn't send any caaarrrrds!" He has already received more than DH and I put together. I have privately refused to do them for the past three years of nursery and am already wondering how early I can tell him if he wants them sending next year he can write them himself.

Wigeon · 14/12/2011 20:46

I never realised that this was meant to happen until DD (3.5) came home from pre-school earlier this week with 7 cards. She had sent precisely none. Oh dear! She has been enthusiastically writing "letters" and postcards and Christmas cards to her family though, rather than children at pre-school who to be honest she doesn't really know that well.

blueemerald · 14/12/2011 20:46

At the school I work at I'm down on the list as my first name although I use my second day-to-day. We have staff who use it for cards and it's very interesting to see who will send a card to a person having no idea who they are!

TheLaminator · 14/12/2011 20:50

That reminds me, I have to make ONE card & a cake to share for DSs christmas party tomorrow. No way im writting indevidual cards. Have got a nice tin for the cakes that the nursery staff can keep.

RitaMorgan · 14/12/2011 20:51

It's not expected, but some parents do want a list. So far I've had 3 cards from children in my nursery class, and 1 child has given cards to all her classmates, so it's not everyone.

GetDownNesbitt · 14/12/2011 21:06

Son in reception wrote his himself. I did the envelopes.

Son in nursery told me six names, three of which were made up. Not doing those any more!

MrsJangleBalls · 14/12/2011 21:11

Dd1 brought home cards written to her from other teachers in her school that I don't even know. Unless she specifically asks to send them cards I'm not writing out cards for people I don't know. It's getting barmy.

CrapBag · 14/12/2011 21:52

I let DS tell me who his friends are. The same names usually crop up so Ii had a fair idea. He got a couple from children he didn't send to so I wrote them one too. I sent 1 to all the nursery staff, was in there today and they only had 1 other christmas card.

4c4good · 14/12/2011 22:17

Ooh - see my bah humbug post. You may be seeing the light!

ClapTrap · 14/12/2011 22:24

I wasn't going to do this for my DD, also in preschool. We never send cards as a family, just an email saying Merry Christmas and donate the money to charity.

However, DD came home with a bunch of cards last week and was as pleased as punch about it. She was very keen to get in on the act, so we got a pack of 24 for 99p from Home Bargains. We had a little conveyor belt going. I wrote them, she stamped them with her Christmas stampers and DH put them in the envelopes (which DD then continued to stamp to death.) She was so excited posting them, I was glad I went along with it. I had to do all of the class as I am a teacher and it breaks my heart when I see some children get a card and another doesn't get any. It seems so important to them.

DD made a card for the three adults in the nursery - we took our time and did one each evening.

troisgarcons · 14/12/2011 22:25

YOu may not be in nursery - but your child is.
I give it 2 years and your will and AIBU about not receivin a card.

zipzap · 14/12/2011 22:43

I send one each to the two members of staff who are in ds2's room and look after him and a general one to all the staff as they all look after him a bit at the start or end of the day (and as his elder brother also went there I've known lots of them for several years now).

He's only had one card from another child so far, so I'll probably just send one back to him rather than everyone as I don't know any of the others. Although thinking about it when ds1 was at this stage, I knew quite a few of the parents and children so would have sent them one automatically. Sign of the times I think - fewer children having 3rd and 4th birthday parties than they were 3 years ago!

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