To want to shove this card

[madasa]

My precious dad died 6 weeks ago , he was only 74 and it is so hard. I have just received a Christmas card from my aunt in which she has written 'Happy days ahead for you all'
AIBU to go and knock on her door and when she answers , to shove said card in a 'shady place'?
DP thinks I am but then he is nicer than me.

YADNBU!! I just got one today delivered to my mums house addressed to my ex, myself and our son that says all the best 2012. It's from my aunt who definatly knows we have split up and also she posted it here not to my old house as usual.
I'd be inclined to rip it into tiny pieces and force feed her the bits.
Sending u love hope everything gets better.

I am sorry for your loss OP but I do think you are being (understandably) unreasonable. Your aunt is wishing you a happier future in a sad time. I imagine it was meant kindly.

zoe88....am wondering if our aunts share an astral body...

Thank you Winkly, I am sure you are right and that is the way DP read it. I just feel unreasonable with the entire world at the moment.

You are not being unreasonable and so sorry for your loss, but I suspect your Aunt may have meant it in the way of "happier days ahead" hopefully, meaning she hopes you can get through christmas with some happy memories.

Especially if you have children, as they will not really notice your grief as much, and their excitement over Christmas may be able to get you through the first one without your Dad.

Unless she has a history of being a bitch, I'd assume she meant "Hopefully you'll be feeling happier in the not-too-distant future despite the current pain" rather than "Forget it and smile immediately". It's hard to think what to write on cards when there's been a bereavement, but I don't think she will have meant to be thoughtless or hurtful.

Ha maybe it's just a crazy aunt thing

Very sorry to read of your loss, Madasa.

From similar experience, I remember having similar feelings when a boss-figure remarked "You don't seem to enjoy Christmas very much, do you?". But fortunately I didn't. Ditto, an official letter from a similar source offering 'commiserations' .

I suspect that your Aunt meant no harm. She didn't want to ignore you by not sending a card at all, but the handwritten best wishes message was open to more than one interpretation.

I think some people mean well, but make a pig's ear of expressing themselves in the circumstances - and unfortunately it can feel 'personal' at the time.

Take care this Christmas - this one will be crap, but once you get past the first round of anniversaries, things will not be as painful.

x

I have a 20 year old daughter squeakytoy, however, she is akin to a 5 year old at times. She is home from uni at the weekend for Christmas....seeing her will make things more bearable.

but fortunately I didn't....>tell her where to go<

YABU, sorry for your loss.

I imagine her heart was in the right place, just not phrased in the way you wanted to hear it though.

YAB(understandably)U to think badly of her for it.

YANBU to be upset by so many things at this time of year. Christmas is awful for lots of people, particularly so soon after a bereavement. I'm very sorry.

Thank you...I did suspect IABU. I have compromised....I have written across the card exactly what I think....and have binned it.

If she'd said 'happier' would that be better? Im just wondering if she meant it differently to how you took it. As in 'things get better'? Perhaps?

So sorry for your loss.

I don't know WhiteTrash...if I'm really honest, maybe I'm just very angry with the world right now and she is in my firing line...thank you