to get annoyed with mail addressed wrongly?

[PenguinArmy]

If so, then give me tips to not get annoyed other something I know is really trivial.

I have a few family members who when sending us cards etc. address it to

Mr and Mrs (DH Initial) (DH surname)

I assume this is because they are old school and think letters should be addressed formally. However, if that's the case then it's just wrong. I'd rather it just be addressed to names without titles. e.g. DH and Penguin.

Incidentally if it was correct then it would be Dr Army and Mr DH Surname. I think I'd be alright it was addressed to Mr and Ms DH surname but it's having all 3 components wrong that pisses me right off irks me.

I'm being sleep deprived hormonally driven irrational aren't I?

Or perhaps they will think she is a complete twat oldgrey

Hahaha

Our christmas card this year was addressed to Mr and Mrs DH initial DH surname

From my mum

And she knows I am a rabid feminist who goes to conferences and everything!

I laughed

Save your ire for when banks and the like do this sort of thing

Not grandma

IMO anyway

YANBU

We chose to keep our surnames so by calling us by our husband's name they are disregarding our identity. Really pisses me off, as much as I love my husband I don't belong to him and will keep my own name thanks. Mrs (Man's initial) (Man's surname) is telling nothing about yourself rather than who you are married to!

To all those that say its a non issue, why is it that letters are never addressed to Mr and Mrs (woman's name). Or at least sometimes? It seems to me people are very careful about men keeping the right surname whereas us women are just part if the family.

And oh the indignity of having to persuade passport control that my children (who have their father's name as mine is foreign and enormously long) are my own! Why can't it be compulsory to have both parents names on passports?

Apologies for little rant

Ms Metal

If it really bothers you, then by all means let them know. But if they're anything like me, when faced with an address book and a stack of cards, envelopes, and stamps, then their brains will go into automatic pilot and they'll just write things without stopping to think "Oh no, Penguin prefers to be called Ms P Army instead". The effort and constant whinging that it'll take to embed it firmly into their skull will be huge and repetitive, and will eclipse every other thought they have of you before it becomes automatic enough to happen on things like Christmas cards.

After multiple repetitions I now write one card specifically to "Mrs his-forename his-surname" instead of "Mr & Mrs etc" because she's very traditional and has repeatedly pointed out that this is, in fact, the proper way to address it.

But it means every time I send them a card, I'm thinking about that fact, and not about how they are, or wishing them seasons greeting or anything much else.

I am very much a Ms and kept my own name on the other hand there is no way I would waste my time fretting about something which was sent with such good intentions.

My name is the only thing I have of my own in this world, and taking it away deliberately makes me feel like I am nothing Seriously?

Have you ever actually told them how you'd like to be addressed? because if not, YABU to expect them to guess - some unmarried couples prefer to be addressed as a couple, some married couples prefer to be addressed as individuals - there's a whole range of possibilities. So how are they supposed to know which one you prefer?

I do try to address people how they want to be addressed and think that is only polite. Have you made it clear how you wish to be addressed? It can sometimes be tricky to remember who prefers which form of address and who has taken husbands name and who hasn't. If you've made it clear then YANBU. If you're expecting people to work it out for themselves then it's more understandable they've got it wrong.

X-posts with Rusty.

It bugs me too, yeah. yanbu

Seriously.

Did a secretarial course 25 years ago and get twitchy if I don't have a title to include in an address. And as for letters folded incorrectly, I won't go into that.

I get twitchy about getting it wrong too, this year I have decided to address all couples as either Hername and Hisname Theirsurname or Hername Hersurname and Hisname Hissurname but it does feel a bit weird, I am wondering if anyone will notice or am I the only anal person amongst my group of friends. Sticking with Mr and Mrs etc for the older generation eg aunts and uncles though.

I wish I had made it more clear to people when I got married that I was going to remain Ms Ownsurname, because I can't easily point it out 10+ years down the line. I just took it for granted that people would not address me as a new name without checking first

I had this problem when I married my second DH 17 years ago. I didn't change my name but many of the senders knew. I kept a note of those who persisted in calling me Mrs Husband's Name and whenever I wrote to them, I stuck a label on the back of the envelope saying Mrs Own Name and the address. Eventually, it has got through to most of them but there are still one or two.

I've thought about doing that too Mabel - just never get round to it!