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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not buy Christmas presents for colleagues?

19 replies

hadagutsfull · 13/12/2011 19:24

I work part-time in a small setting. Originally there were only 4 of us and I am the supervisor. I bought each of the staff a present the first year. Since then we have expanded and I now line manage 20 staff - but it is only a small scale setting, with small scale wages to match!

I'm just writing Christmas cards to all of them but really don't know what to do about presents. Just a card and a "thank you" and no present? Or maybe a lucky dip each for the lottery which would cost me just under £20? I'm really not mean - far from it - but if I spend even £5 on each it'll cost me £100 which is a lot on part-time wages.

What would you do? Do you expect anything from your supervisor? We do get things brought in for us which we share out when we break up for the holiday, so they will have other 'presents', if that makes any difference!

OP posts:

deaconblue · 13/12/2011 19:26

I think you could get a team gift. Bring in loads of mince pies with brandy butter or a big box of thorntons

OhTinky · 13/12/2011 19:29

I don't think colleagues would expect a present - I appreciate you've set a precedent, but I don't think they would honestly expect you to buy twenty presents.

What about organising a secret Santa? Or organising drinks for those you line manage? Not buying them all a drink, but offering them a chance to meet outside of work socially? Or you could get a few bottles of cheap cava or equivalent and share amongst the team?

You're clearly a nice line manager!

MrsMuddyPuddles · 13/12/2011 19:29

I only expect a present from my DH- from anyone else it's a happy surprise. That said, my line manager usually gives the 2-3 people he manages something (bottle of wine in the good old days, chocolates these days), as do everyone else (small team=budgets go around better).

Your OP isn't super clear how many Christmases you've been in this role- is this just no. 2? if not, what did you do in the years between being a team of four and a team of 20...?

A personalized, proper note would be better than a card that you've just signed, btw...

Original poster

hadagutsfull · 13/12/2011 19:30

That's an idea shopping but we are lucky enough to get (usually!!) quite a lot of chocolates and biscuits brought in for us at Christmas so it's just more of the same, IYSWIM.

OP posts:

Esta3GG · 13/12/2011 19:32

Lottery scratch cards is always a good one.

aldiwhore · 13/12/2011 19:34

Cards and possibly the first round of drinks if you have a staff night out?

Its the company's job to provide gifts if gifts are to be sent, not yours. YANBU (or mean!) :)

FabbyChic · 13/12/2011 19:35

I think you should do a secret santa. Not pay for all the gifts yourself, a lucky dip or scratch card is a nice idea though.

MabelLucyAttwell · 13/12/2011 19:35

I like to give something to someone who has helped me personally in anyway during the year.

Apart from that, I worked in a reception office once with one other woman and other staff would bring in one box of chocolates (Celebrations or Minstrels or similar) for us to share. We just divided the number of chocolates into two piles and took home half each in a big used envelope.

I think Secret Santa would be the thing to do here with a low cap on the aount. that brings more fun into finding something worth having - £3 at the most that's what our local Women's Institute's cap is.

Original poster

hadagutsfull · 13/12/2011 19:36

Thanks Tinky - I do try! I don't think they'd be up for Secret Santa, a few people have made comments about being strapped for cash. Maybe we could stay on one evening for drinks & nibbles or something.

MuddyPuddles - I never even thought of a personalised note Have written half the cards now! The first three years I bought presents, didn't last year as we'd grown bigger, and this year is the most we've been. I just feel I'd like to do something to recognise the effort they give (except one or two but I wouldn't leave anyone out ) but it's just so costly.

OP posts:

NatashaBee · 13/12/2011 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

hadagutsfull · 13/12/2011 19:48

Sadly there's no staff night out this year - not all the staff anyway - there's a bit of a division at the moment! Otherwise the first round of drinks would've been ideal. I think I might put a lottery/scratch card in with their Christmas card.

There's one member of staff who causes a lot of bad feeling (there's always one isn't there??) and I can just imagine what would happen if she won the jackpot - there would be uproar

OP posts:

FancyForgetting · 13/12/2011 19:58

Boring note of caution re personalised messages - I once saw a disciplinary go awry one spring - the employee was being 'managed out' for very poor performance and in mitigation produced the recently received Christmas card from their manager which gushed effusively about 'all your hard work' etc etc. Rather awkward!

That made me wary from then on about doing anything other than a nice polite card and shared gifts/gestures - would you be able to all finish work even 30 minutes early one day and do nibbles and a glass of something fizzy? I always think people appreciate having the festivities in work's rather than their own time IYSWIM and means they won't miss lifts/buses/nursery pick-ups etc

Enjoy

Original poster

hadagutsfull · 13/12/2011 20:12

Fancy that's a really good point! As I said, there's one member of staff who causes problems. I wrote the same in hers as in the others because I didn't want her to be able to say she's been treated differently. It didn't occur to me that it could be used in that way but now you've pointed it out, she's the type of person who would do that. Think I'd better start again and leave out the "thank you" messages ...

I think the idea of finishing early one day and having a glass of something & a few nibbles might be the safest option all round.

OP posts:

FancyForgetting · 13/12/2011 20:25

Yes there is always one in every team isn't there? I sometimes wonder if any of them are the same 'narcs' whose relatives post about them on here!

Enjoy whatever you decide to do - you sound a lovely boss and I'm sure all the others will appreciate it

Original poster

hadagutsfull · 13/12/2011 20:48

I could post forever on here about the one in our team - there's always something! Have just written the rest of the cards & left out any thank you message which is a shame for those who deserve it but there you go. Need to re-do the others now ...

The joys of being a supervisor eh? I'm not sure it's worth the aggro

OP posts:

NoOnesGoingToEatYourMincePies · 13/12/2011 21:30

Why don't you do some kind of lucky dip with a few cheap presents?

You could go on a mad dash through Poundland or your local market and get a few coffee cups, pens and notebooks or something (I'm assuming you are in an office here and going for office-use type gifts) and just have them take pot luck with what they get.

It's a bit different to the scratch card or lottery ticket (and no danger of the wrong one scooping the jackpot) but still not too pricy for you.

Original poster

hadagutsfull · 14/12/2011 17:39

Oooh I like that idea MincePies! It's a bit more personal and I'm a bit worried about the awkward staff member having a big win to be honest - it would go down like a lead balloon with the others I wouldn't be too pleased myself either.

OP posts:

NoOnesGoingToEatYourMincePies · 15/12/2011 00:30

On the bright side, if she won the lottery she would probably leave her job...but I'm glad you like the lucky dip idea too.

missingmumxox · 15/12/2011 01:03

Hi hads, I am going through a similar thing, I only have 1 member of staff, but I haven't counted but about 12 from a agency, they are all regulars and utterly brilliant to a person, I can't afford as DH is losing his job at Christmas (as he did last year..damm you credit crunch [shakes fist at moon]).
the old manager retired and we had a lovely chrimbo lunch yesterday with another team, who's manager couldn't come but gave a small but I felt generious gift of £40 for drinks there was only 9 of us across both depts as many people couldn't come, we had invited the retired manger of my dept and she said "bloody right too, I always paid my staffs deposits for the meal and I told him he should make an effort"
I am not a shrinking violet so I just said so everyone could hear, "I know, I feel really bad I can't follow you tradition, but I can't afford it" she realised what she had said and did a really sweet but ham fisted job of papering over it, but I appriciated her effort.
I had mental idea over what i would get for everyone appart from the obligitory tin of sweets, I have given my DH instructions to buy all the frozen chipolatas from the Farm Shop he passes on his way home, they are lush and when frozen 2 for 1, makes them about £2 a pack..bargin.
but I am likeing the lottery ticket Idea, and if I double up on each set of numbers I could share a big win

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