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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to walk round my house in the dark?

18 replies

WifiNappies · 13/12/2011 17:53

DH has this massive obsession with turning lights off (gets it from his dad I think). Now I'm all for saving leccy but this is just ridiculous. If I'm in the kitchen and I go to get something from another room then I am supposed to turn the kitchen light off for the 10 seconds I am out of the room. If I don't do it (which I usually dont' because I think it's crazy) he will make an issue out of it or do something passive-aggressive like switching it off himself or saying "ARE YOU FINISHED IN HERE??"

On a night we will sit in the lounge with all the other lights in the house off, so when we go to bed we turn the lounge lights off and then grope around in the dark for a switch in the next room, or just don't bother at all.

I think this is downright dangerous especially as we now have a baby to carry around and a large dog who likes to get under t'feet. We're not poor and the amount of money we're saving is marginal anyway as our electric is 3p per unit (isn't it actually costing us more to keep turning them off and on? Confused)

So AIBU, I feel like I can't win the argument which I've had numerous times.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 13/12/2011 17:55

Sounds a bit like my husband. I am in and out of the kitchen, sorting dinner, doing other stuff, and every sodding time I go back into the kitchen it is back in darkness...

You could always get one of those miners torches and wear it on your head at all times Grin

I like to fight passive aggression with passive aggression... Wink

whatstheetiquette · 13/12/2011 17:56

Absolutely stupid. What if you drop the baby keeping on having to turn the lights on?

DeeOfTheNorthPole · 13/12/2011 17:57

YANBU with regards to popping out of a room for a minute but any longer than that.....

I must admit to being a bit like this. Totally get it from my dad - I even use the same phrases my favourites being:

"It's like Blackpool Illuminations in here" and
"Just how many rooms are you in?"

Would say though it's now more of a joke....DH is a bit better at switching off lights and I don't get properly annoyed Xmas Smile

Rowgtfc72 · 13/12/2011 19:33

Im the opposite, very really turn lights on, dp follows me around turning them on complaining he cant see. Didnt realise it was a problem till I took dd to bed the other night and she fell at the top of the stairs because it was dark. Im not scrooge Ive just got used to wandering around in the dark !

Kova · 13/12/2011 19:36
Xmas Blush
ConnorCamden · 13/12/2011 19:43

We never have lights on unless we need to. Certainly never have them on watching Tv. I'm curently sat in pitch black on my laptop.

hiddenhome · 13/12/2011 19:43

Do you have low energy bulbs? They don't use much electricity at all. I leave mine on in other rooms and on the landing because it's so miserable creeping around in the dark.

StopRainingPlease · 13/12/2011 19:45

If you have energy-saving bulbs, they do wear out faster if you keep turning them on and off.

squeakytoy · 13/12/2011 19:57

If i work on the PC or watch tv with no lights on, I get a migaine. I am sure it isnt good for the eyes. I have to have balanced light in the room...

humblehippo · 13/12/2011 20:12

YANBU. My mum is like your DH and it drives me mad. I just this minute heard her saying to my dad in huffy voice "are you finished in there?!?!" and tutting to herself about a light. I am temporarily living with them and they keep making comments about how much "extra" electricity I am using in the house and claiming they will have to "increase my rent" when they are not poor at all Hmm... I sympathise!

cozietoesie · 13/12/2011 20:25

I would have sympathized completely until, yesterday, I was doing some energy research and saw how much light bulbs actually cost to run. Way more than I thought.

Part of the problem is that I think I often forget to switch off once I've switched on so a bulb/bulbs may be burning for several hours upstairs and I don't notice. I do like to have my bearings in a dark house though so I'm going to investigate those really cheap/eco nightlights that you plug in to a socket and cost pennies to run. Maybe you could consider that for harmony at home?

redyam · 13/12/2011 20:29

Get some LED energy saving bulbs. The 7 watt ones are brighter than the 50 watt halogens, and save you tons of money if they are left on.

SuePurblybiltbyElves · 13/12/2011 20:33

I have one of those horrible strip lights in my kitchen which I am convinced costs a fortune to fire up so I keep a small lamp in there for the evenings, with an EE bulb in. And I have a nightlight in the corridor. Could you not wrk out a compromise along these lines?

Original poster
WifiNappies · 13/12/2011 21:19

We have energy-savers in all the lights it's possible to have them in. We also have free renewable energy though of course that's not relevant on an evening when it's dark and not powering.

We're both really environmentally friendly. I don't like wastage myself, I hate stuff being on stand-by for example or chargers plugged in but not charging things - but I do have a limit and that limit is having to walk in fairy-steps in the dark in case I trip over the dog! To be fair I don't think it's meanness on my DH's part, it's just like some form of OCD or something.

My grandma used to say "it's like crystal palace" and "it's like blackpool illuminations" about my mum and dad's house, but they are really wasteful and leave everything on all the time!

I am just waiting for an accident to happen to be honest and then it'll be who'd've thunk it.

OP posts:
Minshu · 13/12/2011 21:28

If I go upstairs in the dark late at night I run as fast as I can in case the monsters grab my ankles...

thenightsky · 13/12/2011 21:32

My DH is like this too. If I'm putting clean washing away in 3 different bedrooms I'm supposed to switch on and off every time i go in and out.

Wassailywassailywassaily · 13/12/2011 21:41

My DH turns everything off all the time, drives me mad.
I have managed to mellow him a little

  • I told him that I get Seasonally Adjusted Disorder and need the lights on or I'll become suicidal Xmas Grin
  • I managed to convince him that the energy saving bulbs use a lot more energy to power up, so it is more economical to leave them on.
  • I also pointed out that unless you leave the energy saving bulbs on they take so long to actually shed any light that by the time they do you have probably already fallen down the stairs and the lights are out for good

He isn't cured but its a lot better these days Xmas Smile

aldiwhore · 13/12/2011 21:44

I think there's a compromise, crikey I love a bright house, I have far too many Christmas lights and I want them ALL to be on when its dark outside so I can move from room to room feeling festive.

At non festive times, I do switch off more, the compromise is an energy saving lightbulb on the stairs, that is on all night (bathroom downstairs, kids + dark stairs = danger!!) and the rooms we have to walk through to get from upstairs to the loo have little plug in nightlights.

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