Was it planned?

[Angel786]

Why do so many people feel free to assume my pregnancy was unplanned / I must be shocked? I find it a bit rude. I'm a bright girl and know the risks of unprotected sex! It took 10 long mths ttc dd (1 yo). So yes it's nice this one came along quicker than the first ( only six weeks pg ATM) but the few ppl we've told seem v opinionated?

Come now. Pull yourself together. People say all manner of chit-chat that has little meaning - it's just the grease that oils the wheels of society. It's highly unlikely anyone has actually given your sex life/knowledge of reproductive health a second thought.

Just enjoy your pregnancy :)

So relpy that it was planned - job done. I don't imagine most people give that much of a shit whether it was planned or not.

My DS was concieved a month after our wedding, we had planned to have a baby but didnt think it would happen so quick. When we told people the due date there was always a silence and a puzzled look. I always knew they were standing there counting 9 months back from May to see if he was concieved pre-wedding hehe.

:) now you need to be prepared to be called hormonal...

If it makes you feel any better I got a little when people constantly asked me if it was planned. I found it most when my year 11 students said "I assume it wasn't planned miss?". I told her that I thought it was a little inappropriate for her to be asking about my sex life - that ended that conversation.

I was 25, in a secure career and in a long term relationship (albeit not married) and people still asked... they just do.

And the other side of the coin is that you can have one toddler, have been desperately trying for number 2 for over a year and have to answer people who say 'Don't you want another?'

People aren't really judging, just chatting with you. Either say it was planned, or say that it wasn't but isn't it great?!
I go down the route of honesty - 'We'd love more but it's not happening. If it does, wonderful. If it doesn't, the one we have is pretty special.'

People will either ask more if they are interested/concerned, or they will look a bit shifty and drop the conversation. I'm past caring. Just think about your baby and what people think won't matter so much.

True, will just say yes and be done with it!

Def been hormonal !

"Did you mean to ask such a personal question?"

My friend complained about the same thing to me recently; she felt it was an unnecessary question as it doesn't matter if it was planned or not, they were still going to have a baby! I sympathise, am going through 2nd pg issues with friends too

It's just polite conversation. You know? Chit chat, small talk, passing the time - it's what people do. Why on earth are you getting your blood pressure up about something so incredibly unimportant?

menopausal cos she's pregnant - therefore mental. This too shall pass OP

I would wonder the same thing TBH

Not sure I would voice it though?

Its not a dreadful thing to ask ...just nosey!

YANBU. I completely empathise. People say many stupid things to make conversation with pregnant ladies and think is one of the worst!

OP... are you telling people who actually care about you, or just conversationally? People say all kinds of odd things that grate; you can't expect people who aren't vested in your welfare to behave accordingly.

Say nothing, to anybody and you'll not get the comments. Sad but true.

Took us 4 years to conceive DD1, but we conceived DD2 straight away when DD1 was 6 months old.

When we announced the second pregnancy my aunty went around telling everyone that it was a mistake/accident, it bloody wasn't, I was thrilled to be saved years/months of painful TTC again.

6 weeks pregnant? Congratulations but i wouldn't tell anyone aside from my partner,

Good luck :)

Thanks and MissMolly that's so lovely to hear (the second conception! - not reactions).

Have only told parents and DH's best friend as he was there at the time we told parents. The friend's wife said "obviously it wasn't planned" and I was like "yes it was"... but I have an awful (and v unprofessional female) boss so just waiting for her to say something when I tell (in a few months if all goes to plan)... am already lining up my comebacks...!

Someone asked my sister if I was pregnant when we announced we were getting married. Why would someone automatically assume that?

It is hard when people effectively ask you about your sex life. Maybe this will make you smile...

My colleague has just found out she is pg and told her 4yo DS - very confident little boy - who now approaches people in the street and in shops saying loudly,

'My mummy's got a baby in her tummy', sometimes going into slightly more detail about Daddy putting it there etc.

Now that's when it's hard to hide your sex life away

I beg your pardon Angel786?

Are you saying that bright people don't get pregnant accidentally?

I must be seriously fucking thick then.

I'm with PuddleJumper's friend. I smile sweetly and ask how much detail they would like about my contraceptive history and the functionality of my reproductive organs.

wahwahwah I got that one too, a lot.

I'm not one to get overly het up about being asked the same old questions over and over when pregnant - do you know what you're having?/it'll definitely be a boy/girl because of x/y for example don't bother me in the slightest. I do think that 'was it planned? is VERY nosey and intrusive though and it would never be something I would ask.

I hate that question! How come its anyone's business how many times a month you shag to procreate.

Simple answer is "mind your business you nosy cow".

Well it worked for me.