To think a sit down breast-feeding protest is a pointless and exhabitionist?

[WhiteTrash]

Totally prepared to be flamed for this.

Im from sunny Brighton and a post on facebook recently did the rounds regarding one women breastfeeding in a cafe to be approached by several 70 year old women who told her she should have been more descreet.

Yes they're out of line.

Next day theres posts going round about a sit down breastfeeding protest in town that Id been invited to.

My first thought was why?! I come from a very open minded, accepting, earth-mother (aka middle class hippies)ish town. To have a sit down breastfeeding protest is purely exhabitionist 'look at me! Im breastfeeding, in your face- ACCEPT ME. SEE ME.' bullshit.

I feel I (we) make far more a point by simple breastfeeding 'normally' around town as and when we need to. Why the need to get a group. Of women together for boob time?

I am so shocked by the attitudes of some people on this thread. Why are you extrapolating from isolated incidents of boob flashing that all BF women are latent exhibitionists and presenting it as a known fact?

And why are the boob flashers all so repulsive to those of you who see them? I associate with many women who don't conform to Style and Beauty stereotypes and wear - heaven forfend! 'hippy' style clothes. They aren't dirty or unwashed, or repulsive in any way.

I think that people do need to be challenged on their prejudices. It is not acceptable to comment on how women feed their babies, unless you smile in support. If you don't like it for some odd reason, join the chaps in the railway compartment and don't look

You do know that prior to the last hundred and odd years, the vast majority of people were breastfed don't you?

...and Earthymama misses the point too.

Well said, EarthyMama (LasyBeagle, I take your point but the thread has digressed; they often do and there's nothing the OP can do about it tbh)

I think there's a peculiarly English attitude being displayed here, both towards political activism (which many English people regard as being a bit like farting in a lift) and towards bodily mess. Birth is messy, pregnancy's messy, babies are messy, feeding's messy... the whole darn crapshoot is messy as hell, but I think a lot of people feel that if you're not neat and tidy and basically as hairless and sexless as a Barbie, you're essentially revolting and shouldn't be allowed out in public. Which is fine as an individual point of view (well it's not fine but YKWIM), but as I said before, what really makes me angry and sad is the effect these near-impossible standards (e.g. invisible breastfeeding, which would be funny if it weren't so damaging) have on the breastfeeding rates in this country.

Well I'm Scottish Damnyou, so is my opinion included here?

I never meant to come on a BF in public debate.
Obviously that is totally normal.

Absolutely!

I think there's a peculiarly English attitude being displayed here

The particular English attitude is that you get on with perfectly normal, daily routines like eating, bfeeding quietly, without making a song and dance about it!

earthymania,
No-one ois saying all breastfeeders are exhibitionists, people (inc. me) are saying that the few that are give everyone a bad name. I am not talkign about someone feeding accidently showing a bit of boob, but the out before they even have the baby out of their seat yet (and yes I have seen this). This type, and I stress this is a minority, do give breastfeeding a bad name. This is normally the same type who block up aisles in cafes with prams, let their children race around coffee shopss as if it is a playgym etc.
But the problem is that those few women who do make a song and dance about getting their boobs out when breastfeeding, then try to make out that anyone who thinks they should be discreet is against bf in general, which is what has happened on this thread. No-one has said bf is wrong, or that it should not be done in public, just that it should be done discreetly wihtout boobs hanging out for minutes before the baby is even brought to the breast.

Gnnnnnn! Gnnnnnnn!

No, dammit - no matter what I try I just can't get them to 'swing'.

I must be highly unusual amongst breastfeeding mums

On a serious note threads like this remind me why I haven't fed DD in public for well over a year now, even though I've always been very subtle about it.

I guess that's the whole point though, isn't it - breastfeeding in public isn't entirely normal when people like the person who's spawned this protest get grief for doing it.

Again, I'd personally find getting involved in something like this just too cringey, and I was always confident enough to just get on and do it - but if other people want to get involved and make the big point, really, who cares? Just let them get on with it.

I don't particularly care how breastfeeders are perceived and what the stereotypical image might be of them (I don't live in the UK though and it's much more normal/widespread here), so if some people are giving it a lentil-weavery image, it doesn't bother me, because I just don't relate to that.

damn you,
I think the indiscreet bf is an English thing. In Denmark nearly everyone breastfeeds, and it is not considered acceptable to sit in a cafe with your breast out before you try to feed the baby. People do it discreetly.
And if someone is sitting there with their boob hanging about it is acceptable to ask them to feed their baby discreetly. We are not talking about normal breastfeeders, just the minority. As I said before it is these women who object to being discreet who making breastfeeding difficult for other women, who denormalize bf, and who put other women off breastfeeding. When I saw a woman using her pram to block up the aisle, refusing to move it and sitting there with her boob swinging about for about five minutes before she even attempted to feed really put me off breastfeeding, as do those who breastfeed as part of a protest.

Whilst I'd be far too shy to sit with my breast exposed in a public place, I'd like to add that it is only a nipple, that's all.

Nipples never hurt anybody

Kelly - was her boob actually swinging about for 5 minutes? How did she achieve the swinging?

Do you encounter this sort of 5-minute swingy boob behaviour all the time, then? You must do for it to be such a bother for you.

Or are just just massively exaggerating for the sake of the thread?

slinking,
the woman did not get grief for breastfeeing, she got grief for being indiscreet. Given her response to being annoyed by a private individuel (not a shop etc) was to organize a breastfeeding protest and contact the media I can believe she may not be the most discreet of people.

This particular women was a one time thing and she was extreme (who thinks it is OK to prevent people getting to other tables with her buggy and get hysterical when asked ot move it). I do not know how she got it to swing about, I guess she just has unfortunate droopy boobs. I have seen other women making a song and dance and sitting there with their boobs out, but this one was the worst, there is a reason I remember this particular woman. But as I have said women like this are a minority, where are you trying to imply i am saying all breastfeeders are like this. We are not talking about women who show a bit of boob when they are feeding, that just happens and is par for the course, but the minority who just get them out. The whole point is that it is the minority that give all breastfeeders a bad image and denormalize breastfeeding.

How do you know she got grief for being indiscreet?

Were you there?

I'm talking about the person who spawned the protest being discussed in this thread, by the way.

I still wholly maintain you're exaggerating when you say that the woman you speak of got her boob out and swung it about for 5 minutes.

Why, were you there. She was just one of those unfortunate people with pendulous breasts.
The protest organizer said she was organising it because a woman said she should be more discreet.

But unless any of us were actually there, we don't know whether this breastfeeding woman actually was being indiscreet - surely this is the point?

And in any case, one 70-year old's 'indiscreet' is another new mother's getting to grips with it and perhaps flashing (note: not swinging) more boob than she wanted. Or one baby's inability to latch well and perhaps flashing (note: not swinging) more boob than wanted.

Is it that difficult to 'get'?

Honestly - who cares? If these people want to do it, just let them get on with it and out of their system.

But Slinking you obviously care very much that some people DO care. Why is it okay for you to be riled by them, but not for them to be riled by those choosing to protest? Using the argument 'but you weren't there so how do we really know?' could be applied to loads of threads on MN; it's a bit facile to come back with that line of attack.

I'm one of those who do sort of get annoyed by these sort of breastfeeding extremists. And yes, this thread has ended up conflating two very different arguments - by complaining about protesters breastfeeding in public, it doesn't mean anyone is complaining about people breastfeeding in public in general. I've never been annoyed by someone 'indiscreetly' breastfeeding in public - unless they were a complete twat while they went about it, I'd probably assume they were getting the hang of it and not necessarily making a huge political statement. What I do mind is that in the minds of those who might not be huge fans of breastfeeding in the first place, these demonstrations, which are supposed to raise the profile of breastfeeding and further the cause, actually in my mind are more likely to have a detrimental effect.

FWIW despite my starting this thread, I personlly have no problem with women being or not being descreet with their breasts. I can be descreet with my eyes (i.e avert them).

But when I read the bf 'mob' DM article today I still thought, whats the point? Every woman there would no doubt continue to bf when and where she liked so the mob was for what? To change a 70yeae old womans views? Unlikely.

And what did they do? I just imagined them sitting there, 5 mins in, photo taken then few babies that were feeding were done.

"Erm."

"So..... What now?"

"Well, erm..."

"Ive got to go to Sainsburys, toodle pip."

"Ok, er, see you later thanks for coming [for 10 whole minutes] I really think we showed that 70 year woman, erm, something."

How disheartening that some women feel the need to announce "Why, of course I was always so discreet. It's so unnecessary to make it so obvious."

By all means, cover your own breasts up to feed , if you feel the need. But don't blooming brag about it, and certainly don't assume that everyone should follow your example.

When I feed 'discreetly', I am not proud, rather, I'm a little ashamed every time I do that I do not have the courage to feed in the easiest way possible, rather than the way I am least likely to get hassled.

I would prefer to feed comfortably instead, and without fear of some small minded fool judging me to be indiscreet or exhibitionist.