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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want dc's to open presents before Christmas?

26 replies

Backtobedlam · 11/12/2011 20:27

I found out that the children's gp's want to give them their Xmas presents next week to open. They have done a stocking for my dc's so it will be quite a few presents in one go. I know they are doing it to be nice but Christmas is a huge deal to me, I want it to be really special, and for me, a big part of that is the anticipation, hanging stockings up Xmas eve etc.

I feel that if they've already had a stocking it will take the edge off the excitement, and kind of misses the point of Christmas, in that we celebrate on Christmas day. I was going to suggest that they give them 1 or 2 presents but save the rest for when we see them on boxing day?

AIBU to think presents should wait for christmas day? I don't want to offend them but feel quite strongly on this

OP posts:
cookcleanerchaufferetc · 11/12/2011 20:31

Will you be seeing them on Christmas Day? If so then YANBU. However, if this is the only time your GPs will see the kids then let the GPs see the pleasure of the gifts they are going.

Original poster
Backtobedlam · 11/12/2011 20:35

We're not seeing them Xmas day, but are on boxing day, so thought they could have them then?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 11/12/2011 20:39

I think 1 or 2 prezzies next week and then the rest on Boxing Day sounds best. Or just leave them all til Boxing Day.

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 11/12/2011 20:39

Boxing day would be better, it can be a bit of a let down day for kids after the fun and excitement of Christmas day so getting the GPs presents then would be great.

Sirzy · 11/12/2011 20:41

I would say to wait for boxing day. We always used to get presents from my grandparents on boxing day and it spread it nicely whereas getting presents before wouldn't feel right.

Hulababy · 11/12/2011 20:43

We open ALL presents on Christmas Day, even though we don't see family or friends on teh day itself. We do see family on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day, but still presents are saved for the big day. It's kind of important to us. But then we don't have anyone who insists on doing it other days luckily - same as when both me and Dh were little.

Likewise I buy many gifts but don't feel the need to see the child (or adult) open them. I am happy to hear afterwards.

squeakytoy · 11/12/2011 20:59

I would say leave them all till Boxing Day if you are seeing them then.

iguanadonna · 11/12/2011 21:06

Why are the GPs doing a stocking? Isn't it Father Christmas who does stockings?

Original poster
Backtobedlam · 11/12/2011 21:11

Yep, father christmas does stockings at our house. I was a bit surprised when they said they'd done one to, but I thought I couldn't really say anything as they'd already got the presents.

OP posts:
StellaAndFries · 11/12/2011 21:15

We are having 3 Christmases this year, on the 22nd with my inlaws as they are away for Christmas, so they'll give our dd's their presents then. Christmas day will be just our Christmas presents and then boxing day at my parents they will have my parents and grandparents Christmas presents. If you are seeing them on boxing day I'd save the presents for then. It's not long to wait for the dc's is it.

iguanadonna · 11/12/2011 21:21

I'd think it serious stepping-into-mummy's-territory if GPs started doing stockings round here.

MrsMagnolia · 11/12/2011 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Backtobedlam · 12/12/2011 07:46

Thanks for the replies-that's given me the confidence to say what I want to do without feeling like I'm being totally unreasonable. If it was my parents id have just said, but tend to tread carefully with the inlaws as I know different families do things differently and would hate to offend them.

OP posts:
slavetofilofax · 12/12/2011 07:53

I think they have been a bot cheeky to do a stocking.

Father Christmas fills up stockings, not grandparents. They had their turn to do it their way with their own children, they shouldn't be trying to dictate what happens now that it is your turn. I would tell them it has to wait until boxing day, and make it clear that you are being gracious by allowing them to use a stocking because they did that for their own benefit, not ds's.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourMincePies · 12/12/2011 07:55

How old are the children? Are they old enough to question why they got a stocking from GP's when they come from Santa and understand if you say "Your real stockings are from FC, GP's are just using a stocking as decoration for the presents they are giving you, like a bow or a gift tag."

Or do you pretend that every present comes from FC, even the ones from friends and relatives? Are the GP's going to do the "FC came early to my house to leave you some presents now" thing?

Original poster
Backtobedlam · 12/12/2011 08:05

I haven't asked them how they are going to play it but usually dc's have stocking off FC but we tell them who other presents are off. This year is probably the first year they are old enough to really question things. I hadn't even thought they might say FC had left presents at their house....arrrgh, Christmas is turning into a minefield!

OP posts:
UnexpectedOrangeInMyStocking · 12/12/2011 08:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UnexpectedOrangeInMyStocking · 12/12/2011 08:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZonkedOut · 12/12/2011 08:59

When I was growing up, we had a stocking from my GPs too. We would have a stocking from Father Christmas on Christmas Day in the morning but would get the GPs one when everyone was exchanging presents, on Christmas Day or Boxing Day, depending on when we saw them.

I remember being quite clear of the difference between the two - even when I still believed in Father Christmas.

I agree not to let your DCs have presents early, especially if the GPs are seeing them on Boxing Day - if they were going to Australia for a month, that might be different.

I don't agree with some posters that all presents should necessarily be opened on Christmas Day itself - why not spread out the fun. It's not about the giver back-patting, but I think it's nice to be able to see children's faces when they open a present. I found the comment that called that horrid rather bizarre.

When I was young, we'd love having presents on Boxing Day too, when we saw our GPs, otherwise Christmas Day was it, all over, and Boxing Day was a bit of an anti-climax!

startail · 12/12/2011 09:05

Boxing day. My aunt and Uncle always came then and we had their presents and Xmas dinner again. Made Xmas last longer. Even better when they had children, boxing day was more fun than Xmas. Even if utter chaos, GPs house was tiny a extra adults and 4 extra children plus their toys did not fitGrin

NoOnesGoingToEatYourMincePies · 12/12/2011 09:14

You could always try the "save them for Boxing Day, it will still give them a present to look forward to after the excitement of Christmas Day" approach.

Earthymama · 12/12/2011 09:15

When I was small we had Christmas Day at home with my stocking on the bed. Then presents in front of the fire, church twice on the day, where I would see my grandmother and great aunt, then cup of tea and cake with my grandfather.
However Boxing Day was my favourite; I'm an only child so things were very quiet at home on Christmas Day.
On Boxing Day my glamorous aunt and her family came to my grandparents in the afternoon. As it got dark my cousin who is around the same age as me would race outside when we heard Sleigh bells and when we got back indoors Father Christmas (Bampa) would be sat next to the tree ready to hand out the presents. FC made a special visit just because my Nanna's cake was so amazing and to have a glass of Beer!
As you can tell it really was magical, there is no right or wrong way to "do" Christmas, make your own traditions.
DP and I will be away at Christmas so we all have another Christmas with all the trimmings when we get back. We all love it. And I want to see the children's reactions when they receive their presents.

andaPontyinaPearTreeeeee · 12/12/2011 09:16

I'd prefer boxing day - as you have the option in this case. My parents are coming on boxing day and their presents will be opened then.

It irks me that we will be opening some presents on 21st, normally my DSCs stay after Xmas but DSS is working dreadful hours this year. I mentioned to DH it's a shame there is never a year when we can have all gifts under the tree at once. He suggested making our DCs wait but there is no way I'd deprive the DSCs of seeing their siblings open their gifts. And I think they can handle the fact they get some pressies early while still looking forward to the Main Event, as it were. It won't kill the magic of FC or anything :)

But in your case, as they will be there again on 26th, it does seem a bit daft to open them early.

Santageekmum · 12/12/2011 09:20

We're dreaming of a Skype Christmas... Where GPs see the kids' delight!

Scholes34 · 12/12/2011 09:36

Opening presents a week early or a day late. Bit of a no-brainer really there, but I don't see a problem with the GPs doing a stocking. It's really just an additional bundle of small gifts, and if they are providing the stocking, ie it's not one that the children have hung up in anticipation of FC filling it, that shouldn't be something to take issue with.

We invariably see GPs early (and swap presents to open later) or later (and open presents then) and have always done so.

YANBU to ask the GPs to wait until Boxing Day when you see them. You would be unreasonable to take issue regarding the extra stocking.

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