to be pissed off at DP for not coming home last night?

[OleaAndMarge]

He was working his final shift at his work place last night, we'd made arrangements for him to come over to mine afterwards (we don't live together but he does have a key). I woke up at 4am wondering where he was, only to find a text from him saying he'd taken "shrooms" (magic mushrooms!) and was too out of it to come home and was staying at the pub. He then sent me messages about how bad he felt and how the comedown was awful and was given short shrift!!

I am furious about this behaviour, especially at the start of the relationship, he'd stated that he didn't agree with drugs and didn't want either of us to indulge in any as he wasn't comfortable with it.

I don't want to speak to him or see him again. AIBU to have such a strong reaction to this as it seems a little out of place!

That would be a deal breaker for me, but it's ultimately your decision.

I would not be happy if my DP took drugs, nor would I be happy at my DP telling me one thing then doing the opposite.

I would also not be happy with him trying to dictate my behaviour! (he'd stated that he didn't agree with drugs and didn't want either of us to indulge in any as he wasn't comfortable with it.)

I haven't spoken to him about the exact details, but it seems a little odd that he went from "I'm just packing up and I'll be over in a bit" to "oh god I'm out of my head". He hasn't mentioned any trickery of any kind, maybe he was intending to stay.

I don't know :( I've asked for some space to think about it as I am quite royally peeved :D

I'd get out while it's relatively easy to (not living together, early on in relationship etc). The fact he texted 'shrooms' and about the 'come down' would suggest its not the first time he's taken them, and maybe it's more regular. I don't like drug taking, but I'd also be put off by the lying.

Hmm. I had a brief relationship with a guy who was very vocal about the stupidity if drink driving - a local man had recently been killed driving under the influence and he kept referring to how immoral he found it.

Over the few weeks that we were together I came to realise that he was a big drinker and a twattish drunk and backed off. It came to a head on new year's eve - I'd good him I was staying home with my family and didn't invite him - he turned up just before midnight, roaring trunk, having driven 9 miles along treacherous icy roads.

I soon realised his hypocrisy was a cover for his drink problem. Could it be that your P is doing a similar kind of thing?

Told, not good!

maybe someone sent the text from his phone as a "joke" and he was just drunk

No, he was definitely apologetic this morning and offered full responsibility for the ingestion of said 'shrooms! So he wasn't just drunk.

The start of the relationship is when you should be all loved up. He's got you waiting for him and he's taking mushrooms.

Personally I'd bin him, nothing invested, no children, get out while the getting is good.

Magic Mushrooms - is he 17? Seems like a strange choice of drug for a late night in the pub.

Make sure you get your key back - how well do you know him? He sounds rather unreliable and childish.

I don't know... if it seems very out of character for him, and things have been going well otherwise, I might have a chat with him and see how he feels about it -- apologetic? regretful? determined to never be so stupid again? If so, I might give him another chance. We all make mistakes, obviously it was a big celebration kind of night and he got carried away.

I think your reaction is a little strong but that's just me. You're under no obligation to stay with him if it really bothers you that much.

Thanks for the support ladies, he and I shall be discussing this at some point next week after a good night's sleep on my half.. I am still furious but it is good to know that I am not being unreasonable :D

While its not acceptable I'd say a small plus is he was honest about what he did. I've known a few people who were dead against drugs, but have got carried away when pissed and said yes when some random offers them some weed, so I would assume he just got carried away.

If its unlikely he'll act this out of character again, for me it wouldn't be a deal breaker

I would certainly keep him as a boyfriend rather than a partner for the time being..

Annpan, it's only a deal breaker for me because I wasted a couple of years of my life on someone who smoked weed - and the weed was more important to him than I was. It destroyed my confidence, and I make it clear early in any relationship that I'm anti drugs. It's a big thing to either have in common or not, after all!

Family and friends I'm happy to take a back seat to. Inanimate objects or halluginogenics, no.

Do "Shrooms" count as drugs?
I really am ignorant of anything drug related.
If they are drug related that would be a no no for me.
Avoid and remove would be my advice.

Do you have children?

Do you take recreational drugs?

Id not be happy to be in a relationship with some one so immature TBH.

Boys at college took shrooms. Not adult men.