To want to feel happy again?

[Notcontent]

Sorry, but this is one of those Sunday-night-feeling-sorry for myself threads...
I have name changed.
Basically I don't think I am depressed, but I feel very down a lot of the time and just wish I could feel happy again.

Basically, I have had a difficult few years. My life was going well. I had been married for a number of years, good professional job, about to have my first baby. In my early 30s I felt very content with my life. Then suddenly my whole world fell apart when my husband left me with a very small baby, to be with someone else. For complicated reasons, I was very much alone, with little support during that time. It was sheer hell.

Am few years later now, things are ok. I have a home, a good job, and a lovely dd. There are times when I feel happy. But I never feel that "my life is great" feeling. You know those times when you just feel properly happy? I really earn for that.

I have tried making more friends, changed jobs, moved house. Those things keep me busy, but not exactly full of joy. I feel that as a woman in my late 30s, alone with a small child, I don't really exist. I am an invisible woman.

Changing jobs and moving house are both very stressful, and iit takes a while to settle down again, I 'm assuming both are astilll fairly recent. I'm a single mum, and wouldn't want it any other way. There ARE adantages. It might not seem it just now, butthings will improve. Where abouts in thecountry are you? Have you tried contacting gingerbread? they organise social events for single parent families. I don't really have any advice, just wanted to send you a ((hug)) and say single parent lfe can be great too,mine is, I hope yours will be again very soon.

Hi notcontent

Did you feel happy when you were with your ex? When was the last time you felt properly happy?

Crabapple, thanks for the hug.
Mychild - yes, I guess when I was with my ex-h I was happy. I wasn't happy 100% of the time, but had lots of really happy times, and I guess I felt that my life was going how it was supposed to be...
I have always been very independent, but I suppose like nots people I saw myself going through life with a loving partner and children.

I'm sorry notcontent. You've had some life-changing events there. You might be a little depressed...it wouldn't harm to have a session or 2 of counselling and decide then if you want to talk to your doctor too.

Worrying about the 'life is great' feeling might exacerbate the problem - I've recently read a book called The Worry Cure and it was v good (and im someone who doesn't do self-help books).

It sounds like you're having a hard time reconciling how your life turned out with how you hoped it would be. I think that happens to most people at some stage. Acceptance is a huge part of feeling happy - coming to terms with how your life is and making the most of it rather than feeling disappointed and wishing it was different. I don't think anyone's life goes the way they expect - everyone is thrown curve balls. The problem comes when you fight against things that you can't control and feel helpless because of them. Do you feel ashamed of how your life turned out? Do you feel judged by others for being a single mum? It might help to look closely at your judgements and your ideas about life and see how they might be affecting how you think. It sounds like you put a lot of your self worth into being married, having a relationship and having the "standard" life.