to feel like I cant take any more stress in my life.

[redbaren]

My bullying and manipulative ex is in the process of taking me to court to try to get joint custody even though our ds is certain he does not want this. In the meantime unlike him Ive not been able to afford a lawyer or get legal aid. My 2 tenants (my only sources of income but the main reason I dont get legal aid have just announced they will be leaving at xmas when they originally said they would stay to March. I have had to borrow the money from their deposit to pay for some legal advice and was planning to put it back in the pot from the rent they were supposed to be giving me in Jan-March....yikes.
Nearly maxed all my credit cards as well.Dont even have the money to pay my mortgage this month...even been thinking that I may have to return all my xmas presents so my son and I have some money to survive through xmas.
My most recent partner has been cited in the court case as my ex heard him screaming at me in front of our ds. I have ended the relationship about a month ago and have not even been responding to his texts which were quite threatening. He just came over today to pick up some items, he got angry because I would not go out for lunch with him. I have tried to tell him I have told the court I am not with him and it has to remain that way. He barged into my house ,went into my room and started going through my personal belongings to try to find any presents he had ever bought me he said. I got angry, (I am already under so much pressure as it is) I was really upset and asked him to leave several times, he refused and so I threw some water at him, he retaliated by pushing be down on the bed and pressing both hands tightly around my neck . When he released me I immediately called the police and he fled. He then sent me a text stating it was my fault because I had attacked him first. I was just angry at his insensitive behaviour.
All my friends have gone off on holiday so I called my Dad as a shoulder to cry on as I was waiting for the police. He told me he did not want to listen as he already had too much stress going on in his life...
I feel like Im going to implode with all these major things going on in my life and no one to turn to.I guess this is a normal feeling to have considering how much major stuff I have going on at the moment....

There will be MNers along who can provide far better replies to your post, OP, but re your finances I'd recommend making an appointment with your local CAB as soon as you can.

From experience, they are absolutely fantastic in assisting with complex financial situations (negotiating with lenders,checking for possible benefit entitlements as a parent).
Good luck
x

Thanks for advice!

You're welcome - although I think that my post's a bit one-dimensional/insufficient for the kind of support you need. So sorry to read about the horrible stuff you have been going through

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time, do you have any friends you can turn to, either to get practical help or to talk with? Well done for reporting him to the police and keeping him out of your life.

You might also try reposting this in Relationships as you need some good advice on the legal side and protecting yourself, and the ladies there are brilliant.

Sorry, no real advice, except your tenants need to give you a month's notice, so I don't think they can stop paying you at Christmas. I would also recommend you contact the CAB about your financial situation and for advice to seek a restraining order against your ex-DP.

How old is you DS that will have a bearing on any advice I give re child contact issues.

hi

i have no advice really on the financial side but you could try ringing womens aid with regards to the ex partner, they are pretty good and in the know with what you can do... depending on how old your son is the court will listen to what he has to say.. take care

also look at the contract, if your tenants contract is till march they cant just walk out

As for the one who put his hands around your neck.

Self represent and go to court for:

Injunction with powers of arrest and an exclusion order around your home.

This means that if even if stands outside your home the police will have to arrest him and bung him in a cell for the night before a judge gets to deal with him.

Tbh I think from what you have described of your current situation if I was the kids dad I would also be concerned... Imagine if it was the other way around and he had a girlfriend who screamed abuse at him in front of the kids an had walked in and physically assaulted him...

Is he pushing for court out of genuine concern for his kids or jut to get at you? He is entitled to go for it so I would focus on getting your tenants and exp sorted first, then you will be in a much better position

Hi thanks for a response everyone I felt so utterly alone and despondent today. Yes I have a reason to keep this last partner out of my life, but the father has no more concerns as he's not around.
The sad thing is my ds returns home every weekend from contact reporting of the screaming and abuse his Dad inflicts on his wife...

hugs, I am going through something equally massive too and genuinely feel your pain, will say a little prayer for you x

Thank you graceinabundance for those words, it just helps to be able to reach out to people. I felt so alone today. x

well my little heart is reaching out to you and im also hugging you so tight im afraid you prob cant breathe if i continue much longer

Oh thanks everyone for your support...Looks like next Wednesdays second hearing is def on in spite of me trying to get it adjourned. This time it looks like I wont even have my Mckenzie friend. Signed on to jobseekers today and have an appointment to see a legal aid lawyer on Thurs am but dont know if they will be able to take me on with just my signing on book. Does anyone know what a layer actually needs to see as proof that Im un receipt of Income based jobseekers allowance?

hug! I dont im afraid love but wish you all the very best!

My one bit of advice to you:

Donot make anything up, because if you say something happened that didn't - they will find out. This could lead to you losing custody.
Tread carefully - the courts are not stupid , despite what you may have been lead to believe.

 Good Luck!