To be tearing my hair out - autism related

[sitandnatter]

Hi sorry to be a newbie and come straight in for advice but I am tearing my hair out here.

I have an autistic teen who can be the most loving child in the world but needs everything to be on his terms. Today I've had a three hour meltdown, three solid hours, rudeness, complaints, moans, insults all because the schedule he was expecting was disrupted.

He is high functioning but couldn't see what he'd done wrong or why I was at the end of my tether. I'd never hurt him but I just wanted the noise to stop so ended up shouting at him which is the worst thing you can do.

Now I feel useless and exhausted. So AIBU?

Thing is, he doesn't see that he has done wrong, and telling him won't help, you need to put your point of view, but from a perspective that he'll understand, try to get him to see how hard it is on you. You need to say to him, it hurts when you do that, it hurts when you say that, and when you get frightened, I do too.
As for the , it's winter, the sun went over the yardarm hours ago!