Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To think her dad should be there..

13 replies

flangeismyfaveword · 11/12/2011 01:52

or step mum at least? My dd is 11 and has spent tonight at her dads house. I have just seen my dd facebook and it states that both beloved dad and dear step mum have gone out for a chinese meal for a friends birthday.
I have never left my child alone and wonder why these pair think it is ok to do so?

OP posts:

MollyintheMoon · 11/12/2011 01:59

Erm no it's not ok to leave her alone at 11 and if she's never been alone before.

I find your post a little strange. Why the step-mother 'at least'? Surely it is her dad's responsibility 'at least'.

AgentZigzag · 11/12/2011 02:02

I started leaving my just turned 11 YO DD alone in the house in the past year, but it really depends on the DC.

It is perhaps something he could have discussed with you, but he is her dad and your DD also has a bit of a say in whether she feels comfortable with them doing it.

Although if they're still out and have been for hours, I would agree with you that it sounds a bit late for her to be there on her own.

How did her fb thingys sound?

lisaro · 11/12/2011 02:04

That's awful!

LEttletownofBOFlehem · 11/12/2011 02:08

I wouldn't have a problem with it, actually, but it depends on the child.

LinusVanPelt · 11/12/2011 02:12

I wouldn't be happy either.

Also, your dd absolutely should not be posting on facebook or anywhere else on the internet that she is at home alone. Even if she has very tight privacy settings (does she)?

Original poster

flangeismyfaveword · 11/12/2011 02:23

Molly - the comment was that if her dad had gone out then her step mum should be there. I did not mean for it to sound strange, sorry.
Her facebook settings are very tight and she had in fact only messaged my sister about this as she thought it was v exciting!! I however am beyond mad as I never ever go out on nights outs am with my daughter ll the time and the ONE bloody night I ask that she stayswith them, they both sod off out for the evening as if she is not there at all.
I

OP posts:

mynewpassion · 11/12/2011 02:49

Before you get all huffy and puffy and have a go at your ex, get all the facts straight first. Are you sure there is no babysitter?

demetersdaughter · 11/12/2011 02:50

I'd be worried that she posted on facebook that she was on her own.

GColdtimer · 11/12/2011 03:04

I would not be happy. Surely he should have told you or asked if you could swap nights or something. I presume she doesn't live with him so not too much to ask to actually spend the time with his dd. Personally feel 22 is too young.

hairytaleofnewyork · 11/12/2011 05:35

His house his rules. IMHO 11 is too young.

Also - 11 is too young for a fb account.

So basically you've both pushed the age boundaries.

TroublesomeEx · 11/12/2011 06:45

"His house his rules" - I do think there should be some sort of consistency and consensus where children are concerned though, surely?

The rights and wrongs are one thing but why was she stopping overnight if he was planning on a night out?

Sirzy · 11/12/2011 06:52

If either party thinks there is a risk involved then "your house your rules" needs so close examining to get both parents as close to singing off the same hymn sheet as possible.

Moanymoannerson · 11/12/2011 09:52

I assume that the majority of he time she stays at yours?

I think I'd also be miffed about him having a visitation and going out. Did you call your dd and make sure she was ok op?

Flip