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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

in not buying my DS much for christmas

60 replies

Morph2 · 10/12/2011 23:46

He is only 18 months. I've got him a Henry hoover which cost £20, some wooden fruit which was about £5, a cuddley Po from teletubbies which was £10, also had a tea set £5 but he spotted it so i've let him have it already. I was also gonna buy a tent from ikea but they are out of stock all the time so i'm gonna get that for his birthday in May.

I really can't see the point of buying him loads at his age just for the sake buying stuff for christmas. He's had bits and bobs through the year, i don't spend a fortune but for example i spotted a fisher price little people garage on ebay near us the other week so i bought for £4 and he's had that straight way. One of his baby friends mums i am friends with on ebay, i saw on her status she had posted 'Average spend on children for christmas is £178, whose kids am i buying for????' which i take it to mean she spent more that that. they are not rich but i know she's bought her 18m DS an electric car and a dancing elmo toy which is about £60 odd quid. I'm not rich but i'm not poor, i could afford to spend more if i really wanted to i just can't see the point at this age. Am i being tight?

One of my friends with older kids told me the more you give kids the more the want and the less grateful they are.

OP posts:

Crabapple99 · 10/12/2011 23:48

It sounds like you have got him loads! I'm sure he'll be very happy with it. We have had christamses with loads, and christmases on a very tight budget with ver y very little, the kids are happy either way really.

FessaEst · 10/12/2011 23:53

It sounds like you have got hime quite a bit already! He'll probably like the boxes/wrapping best

I don't really buy my girls anything, as they get so many gifts and the time will come when we have to spend more and I'd rather wait 'til then. Anything I do get I find on eBay or gumtree. Or wrap things that I would otherwise have given them straight away - DD1 is getting a new beaker, cutlery & toothbrush in her stocking for eg. I honsetly don't think they care/notice until they are quoite a bit older.

YANBU

1Catherine1 · 10/12/2011 23:54

Sounds plenty to me. I have been made to feel a little guilty for my Christmas choice for DD but money is tight and she is only 8mo. I have bought her a vtech walker (£18), a doll (£6), a shape sorter (used off e-bay £6) and a fisher price musical piggy bank (used off e-bay £8). I think I've spent enough. Although I also plan to buy her a Christmas outfit for £11 and I bought her a Mama and Papa rocker but I gave it to her so that doesn't count (£5 also off e-bay).

Friends have given raised eye-brows at the fact that I'm giving her things that aren't new.

KD0706 · 10/12/2011 23:56

My DD is 19 mo and I've just basically got her a stocking. I don't think anything cost more than £5-6.
Off the top of my head, she has a pack of pens, a cheap dolly, some 'workman' tools, one of those flannels that gets big when you put it in water. I know I've got her a couple more things but can't think what! I'd be surprised if I've spent as much as £30 on her. But she has way more toys than she needs, and doting grandparents and aunts and uncles who will buy her things. And like you we buy her whatever she 'needs' during the year.

So since I appear to have spent less than you I'd say YANBU!!

TheSecondComing · 10/12/2011 23:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MudAndGlitter · 10/12/2011 23:57

Ours have got a mix of new and second hand. They don't care as its 'new' to them.
It sounds like loads for an 18month old. DD is the same age and she's got a doll, a buggy and fridge phonics. In her stocking is a few books, peppa DVD and some little figures

Original poster

Morph2 · 10/12/2011 23:57

thanks for the comments. I'm 100% sure he'll be perfectly happy with what i've got him it's just when you're at the groups and some ppl say what have you got DS then they reel off a long list of expensive gifts. Lol peer pressure at my age (38)

OP posts:

KD0706 · 10/12/2011 23:59

1Catherine nothing wrong with giving your children pre owned things IMO. My mum doesn't have a lot of money at all but wanted DD to have toys at her house so has been scouting around charity shops and has got some really lovely things for her. I've been really impressed at her bargains. And especially if it's plastic toys are so easy to clean.

KD0706 · 11/12/2011 00:01

I know what you mean about being at groups morph and worrying about what others have got.
I sway between being embarrassed DD has so many toys, because so many children have very little; then being embarrassed because she has fewer than friends children, not as many big electronic things etc.

MitroChristmasEve · 11/12/2011 00:07

That's loads! They sound like things he'll play with all the time. It's all about what he will enjoy. Remember that he will probably get gifts from other people too, so your house will be full of brightly coloured items just for him. I can't imagine that he'll have much concept of money at 18mo, so whatever you spend it won't matter to him.

IME the children of friends who buy huge amounts of toys are more easily bored.

Firawla · 11/12/2011 00:08

you've got him plenty! i wouldn't worry, that is quite a few different things for him and stuff like a hoover is big so it will look a lot for him. you're talking like you've got him nothing! its fine

RozziB · 11/12/2011 00:16

My sisters dc is 14 months and she is spending £50 on a bike for him and not getting him anything else, as you said in your post there isn't much point because at that age they don't know any different and he will also get lots of presses from other relatives too. My dchildren the oldest 13 middle 11 and youngest 8 know exactly what they want and bleed you dry so it's best to save the pennies for when they are older

NatashaBee · 11/12/2011 01:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LivingDead · 11/12/2011 01:27

That is fine, those stupid dancing elmos are a complete rip off, £60 for some crappy toy to do the same thing over and over again, we had one given from an auntie about 7 years ago ad dd was terrified of it she would hide behind the sofa every time it was set off.

One thing though, I would avoid just giving them things throughout the year, mine now seem to expect (a small, maybe £1) toy from the charity shop every time we go into town. I have stopped it, but it's an easy habit to fall into and they don't appreciate gifts really when they get random little things all the time.

BadDayAtTheOrifice · 11/12/2011 01:33

Its more than enough at his age. Have a lovely Christmas :)

Alicious · 11/12/2011 01:38

Sounds great to me! DS2 (12m) will be getting a Wheely Bug from doting grandparents, we are giving him a shape sorter with keys, a little truck and a very basic toy garage. Total spend (without the Wheely Bug) of about 40 quid (inc small stocking)!

And if I had found anything second hand I would have bought it-no shame in that at all.

FreudianSlipper · 11/12/2011 01:43

i didn't buy ds much for the first few years

he is 4 now and i shall not be buying him much this year it will be mostly cars and lego. i do not beleive in spending lots at christmas or on his borthday woudl rather put the money towards a holiday.

i am shocked when people tell me they spend about £300 on their children who are the same age, f they have a bike and a scooter (which ds has) what coudl you spend the money on

DedalusDigglesPocketWatch · 11/12/2011 07:44

For DD's first birthday we got her some stacking cups. That was it!

DD (4yrs) has asked for a bell for her bike and a torch for Christmas. I will get these for her stocking. We have bought her the playmobil swimming pool (30quid)

DS (16m) has got some little wooden cars for his stocking, and he has some Brio from us (bought in tkmaxx)

Both of them will have things like new socks, toothbrush, some sweets, a plastic kaleidascope etc in their stockings.

One of my fb friends posted a picture of what they got their DD. It was almost every Monster High toy available, there were over 10 boxes! She did say they may have gone a little OTT....

VFVF · 11/12/2011 08:01

I think you've got plenty for him, I'm sure he'll be happy!

I've spent a grand total of £10 on a second hand wooden kitchen for DD (2 next week). I have friends with children of similar age who have spent in excess of £200 on their children for christmas!! Thats before they get all the presents off the grandpatent, Aunts and Uncles etc. They are lovely but quite mad IMO

I personally am thoroughly enjoying the toddler years where I can be as tight thrifty as I like with DC without them noticing!

littlepie · 11/12/2011 08:16

Agree totally. Just had DD's 1st birthday and bought her a few things which was plenty. Christmas will be the same 2 "big" things (1 was second hand so a quarter of new price) and some books.

Ismeyes · 11/12/2011 08:19

Spend whatever suits your family, your income and your way of doing Christmas. Don't judge others who spend less than you or those who spend more than you. It is all relative anyway. Just be happy with your own decisions and have a good Christmas.

NorksAkimbo · 11/12/2011 08:22

I don't think we bought either of our DCs anything until they were old enough to sort of 'get' what was going on; even now at 5 and 4, I think we spent £100 in total for the two of them; they get enough stuff from family, so they basically get one thing they really want from 'Santa', as well as a whole family gift (this year it's a Wii family adventure game) and that's about it at our house. Fingers crossed, they are reasonably grateful for what they recieve, and not greedy about 'stuff'...hoping that attitude carries on, but not naive enough to think it will!

exoticfruits · 11/12/2011 08:26

He will be perfectly happy.

scaevola · 11/12/2011 08:33

Will he be happy with those toys?

If so, then no YANBU - and frankly that sounds like much more than I'd ever put under the tree.

And it mystifies me why anyone goes on about what they are spending. It's not a materialistic bragging race. OP: free yourself from it before it gets hold! You sound far too sensible to get suckered in.

needanewname · 11/12/2011 08:34

I think you should get what you can afford and are comfortable with. And that applies to adults and older children too.

I honestly don't think they care, as long as they have something to open. I think they actually enjoy having their parents with them for the day.

I really have to rein myself in over Christmas presents, but I understand that the children don't care (well not whilst they're younger) and I want them to appreciate what they get

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